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View Full Version : My girlfriend wanted to be with more people


JackCross
Dec 18, 2009, 05:34 AM
So after dating for almost two years, my girlfriend tells me how she was messing around with craigs list. Just to see who might respond. However, she also started thinking that before we would get married, which will probably be within the next two years, she wanted to have sex with more two people in her life. Only me and her ex have had the privilege. Now, she's asked me for permission to go out and just someone on craigs list. She thinks that once we get married this would be out of the question, so she wants to do it now rather than later. Now, I get that it's better for her to come to me with it rather than going behind my back, but it still hurts. I don't know why she can't be satisfied with just me. If I wasn't doing it, I would hope she would tell me so that I'm not so confused. Anyway, last night I decided I wanted to try craigs list myself. If we're taking a break, I want to try someone new, too. Oddly enough, I tried to do it for her. If I learned something new from that random person, I could use it on her. I couldn't find anyone who could meet me last night, so I eliminated my posts and I'm trying to find the courage to do it again. I want to stop having images of someone I don't know sleeping with my girlfriend. It is cheating, because we're not technically dating right now. It is just such horrible timing though, because it's the holidays. This is the most romantic time of the year (valentines excluded). She won't be there with me though. I trust her to do exactly as she said and come back to me when she's done. She won't tell me any more than that she will do it soon. I can't help but be paranoid. I trust her, but not the other guy, or myself. I don't want to let my jealousy to push her away. I haven't talked to her face to face in a couple days, nor have I really called her. We've only txted on the rare occasion and even then, its only one or two words out of her. I need to be sure that I'm not missing something, or maybe that I AM missing something. I don't want to be paranoid any more. I just want to be able to look forward to seeing her next.

Cat1864
Dec 18, 2009, 06:54 AM
How old are both of you?

Rich11111
Dec 18, 2009, 01:32 PM
It would be useful to have a bit more info here, but from the sounds of it she has just gone and dumped you so she can have sex with other people and then expects yoy to just take her back when she is satisfied.

If you are uncomfortable with the idea of her having sex with someone else then don't let her, it's as simple as that (although it seems a little late now as you are already on a break so she has most probably already slept with someone else). You have images of her with someone else in your head and you hate them, they will only get much worse if you allow this because they will no longer be Just images in your head but of an event that actually happened.

Also, you don't just mess around on a craigslist looking for sex to see who might respond. She wants to sleep with someone else (or already has) and she just wants you to agree so she can do it guilt free.
Have you Discussed the option of you sleeping with other people and if so how did she react?
She Doesn't want to be sexually committed right now, why would she when she has a ring on her finger.

Also, did you actually tell her that you are OK with it? Becasuse if not the only difference between what she is doing now and cheating is that she told you first. She initiatesd a break with you so she could have sex with someone else.

There is a chance that this is just something she wants to do now and be loyal after for the rest of her life but I myself really doubt it.
I would give serious thought to the fact she seems OK with sleeping with other people without you agreeing before you consider marrying her. If I were in you position I personally would end it altogether. Although that's just my opinion.

redhed35
Dec 18, 2009, 02:23 PM
I think she has some cheek to expect you to wait for her while she's out shagging around and catching god know what diseases,and expects you to take her back,no questions asked!

Ill tell you now,there's not many people out there who would tolerate that behaviour..

Did she say she loved you?

Does she love you?

She is taking a risk not only with her health and yours should you decide to take her back but what if she decides to stay gone,she said she was coming back... I would not trust that for a second.

This is hurting you,and she claims to love you!

Sorry,that's a joke.

Move on,kick her to the curb and forget her...

I recommend no contact and no marriage.

artlady
Dec 18, 2009, 02:33 PM
Not only is this dangerous but it is immature and selfish.
If this is how much she values you and your relationship,I would rethink the marriage and the relationship.

I think she is not just hooking up with some random guy,I think she knows very well who she is going to sleep with and she only told you a half truth to assuage any feelings of guilt.

Get a backbone my friend and don't ever allow anyone to diminish you in this way,this is not the action of a person who is in love.
It just isn't! I don't care what lame excuse she gave you ,she is just being a selfish runaround!
Take your manhood back and whatever you do ,don't get married!