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View Full Version : What's going through my boyfriends head? What should I do?


his_wifey2009
Dec 6, 2009, 08:33 PM
Me and my boyfriend were fine, we just moved in together. He got in the shower and when he got out he started acting different, he even went to the living room to watch a movie. I asked what was so different about our room and he said that he felt like watching it in the front room but the other day I asked him to watch a movie with me and when we put it in he fell asleep. Could he be getting sick of me? Should I be worried. We talked about it and he said he would be back, when I went in the living room he was asleep. Please help!

basketballlover
Dec 6, 2009, 08:48 PM
I don't think he is bored with you. He may just be unaccostumed to living with someone and doesn't know how to act. Who knows.

Gemini54
Dec 6, 2009, 10:54 PM
You've already asked a couple of questions about this relationship with your BF :

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/dating/problems-boyfriend-419304.html

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/adult-sexuality/having-sex-boyfriend-418774.html

I think that there are other issues happening in your life - according to your other posts you're both not yet 20 and you've got a new baby, is that right?

Communication is a huge issue here as is your fear that everything he does involves a rejection of you. From your other posts you're also concerned that he's taking calls from other girls.

You need to talk. I don't mean nag, cry, complain or whinge. I mean talk about how you feel and take responsibility for your own feelings of insecurity and loneliness. Over-analyzing his every little move will not make you feel better, only worse.

He may simply be tired - you do have a new baby after all. He may simply want to get away from the bedroom (and your insecurities) and watch a movie to wind down. He may not know how to talk to you either and feel more comfortable talking to another girl. He may feel overwhelmed with responsibility, etc, etc.

You won't know unless you talk to him and ask him how he's feeling. Who knows, perhaps he'd like a little attention.

his_wifey2009
Dec 7, 2009, 10:09 AM
Well, we talked about it. He just said that he wanted to be alone. Which is OK my only fear is he's going to leave me to go back to his ex or someone else, because this is what happens all the time. Im not sure what to do. We do have problems I just don't understand why before he got in the shower we were laughing and playing, then when he got out he was acting totally different. He wants me to come on to him more so, Im trying. He was watching porn and then he had a bonor I was about to have sex with him, but I was a little nervous so I was talking to him and he had said earlier that he was about to take a shower so, I asked him when he was taking one now or later he got up and took one then went to the living room, I don't know if he's mad because I asked him when he was wanting sex.

his_wifey2009
Dec 7, 2009, 12:52 PM
I also texted him and asked him if he wanted something else he said nothing. Does that mean he probably does? I'm about to talk to him about it, will he tell the truth?

Gemini54
Dec 7, 2009, 01:50 PM
well, we talked about it. He just said that he wanted to be alone. Which is ok my only fear is hes going to leave me to go back to his ex or someone else, becasue this is what happens all the time. Im not sure what to do. We do have problems I just dont understand why before he got in the shower we were laughing and playing, then when he got out he was acting totally different. He wants me to come on to him more so, Im trying. He was watchin porn and then he had a bonor I was about to have sex with him, but I was a little nervous so I was talking to him and he had said earlier that he was about to take a shower so, I asked him when he was taking one now or later he got up and took one then went to the living room, I dont know if hes mad because I asked him when he was wanting sex.

Well, no one can know about the shower thing except him, and to be frank it sounds like the least of your problems.

If he's leaving, you need to look after yourself and make sure that your child is cared for by both of you.

Whether he's going back to his ex or not is beside the point.

Just decide what you're both doing so that your child can have a stable upbringing. This is not way for the baby to begin its life.

Cat1864
Dec 8, 2009, 11:13 AM
It all boils down to you both need to learn how to communicate with each other.

The shower sounds like a HUGE miscommunication. He was ready for sex and you had been receptive and suddenly instead of sexual advances you are asking about when he is going to take a shower? He might have taken it as sign that you weren't interested and was feeling rejected. You won't know unless you talk WITH him.

As for his going to his ex's, that is another matter for discussion. Is she still a very good friend and confidant? Are you worried that more might be going on? Again, you need to have a calm and non-confrontational discussion with him about the relationship and your concerns. NO blame or accusations. No yelling or tears. Just talk. Listen to what each other has to say. If you aren't sure what the other person means ASK FOR CLARIFICATION. Be open and honest. Try to say things in as clear a way as you can.

smoothy
Dec 9, 2009, 06:26 AM
Its possible that he has realised that moving in together isn't what he was expecting it to be.

Its possible he has an issue with something you are totally unaware of, it really can be a number of things.

Step #1 is talking. Might not resolve anything unless both parties are willing to have a rational heart to heart. But if you can't sit down and talk then there really is nothing you can dio.