How can I have my own world with out panicing..



I am starting a new path for myself.. a path I hope I will enjoy it



I had a break down before two months and ever since living has not been easy for me



But I am trying



And today I talked to a friend



And when we discussed my issue I found out two important things about me..



I have a low self esteem..



And I don't have my own world.. I mean the place to make me happy.. the thoughts.. the people.. the every thing.. I don't have it!



And what really annoys me is that if I don't have a high self esteem is how to get to that world..



Because of my break down I've lost it! Lost the perfect world for myself.. lost my happy place.. every thing



And now I don't feel like I deserve to have one although it's killing me why I don't have it!



I suffer from very low self esteem.. like if I don't have my boyfriend now to pamper me.. I feel un alive.. and I can make myself feeling alive by myself.. even by others!



I need to know if any one had this experience.. maybe you can help!



Help me to get to where I should be..



Have a peace of mind..



Just have a peace of mind and love myself and pamper myself all the way!



Because every time I want to pamper myself I feel like I don't deserve to do any thing good for myself..



I don't even take any long hot baths any more! Or relax.. or have my own moment!



It's really making me sad :'(

I have had a similar experience that involved being diagnosed with depression, anxiety and going to a counselor for low-self esteem.

My counselor gave me some homework to do. By doing it, I found out how distorted my thinking really is! I fed my mind with so much crap about myself it now disgusts me to think about it.

As a human being- you deserve respect and you deserve to have a personal space. It is healthy for you to make yourself a sanctuary- it is not selfish. What you need is discipline. You desperatly want this time and place for yourself to relax, etc, but you are the only one who can make that happen- and you are not making it.

You need to change your thinking and thought process, and take charge of your own life. That will not happen unless you have discipline. You do not need oodles of self-confidence coming out your ears, all you need is a healthy opinion about yourself, and the drive to make that place of your own. Discipline your mind, and tell yourself that, as a human being, you do deserve to have happieness. Go to a counselor and ask for materials to help boost your self-esteem.

Peace of mind is often hard for people to get these days because we all seem to be so stressed and anxiety-ridden. You could take depression and anxiety tests to find out if your anxious or depressed, and ask a doctor or therapist what you can do to make that happy time for yourself.

It may not even take a doctor or therapist. For you, peace of mind could just come with a little determination, and not just wishing and wanting, but acting on those wishes, and taking action to get what you want for your life. After all, this is YOUR life, and you deserve it!