KISS
Dec 2, 2009, 09:48 PM
The grotesquely wrong answers that some contestants give on quiz programmes would surely make most participants think twice before applying.
THE ARTS
PRESENTER: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
CALLER: Leonardo di Caprio.
(2CR FM)
BIOLOGY
PRESENTER: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?
CONTESTANT: No, it was a dinosaur.
(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)
ANNE ROBINSON: What type of bear lives in the Arctic?
CONTESTANT (after much thought): Penguin.
(The Weakest Link)
CLASSICS
ANNE ROBINSON: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?
CONTESTANT: Greek.
(The Weakest Link)
DOMESTIC SCIENCE
PRESENTER: Emmental and Double Gloucester are both types of what?
CALLER: Banks.
(Breakfast Toaster Quiz, Heart FM)
ENGLISH LITERATURE
JEREMY PAXMAN: Of all Beatrix Potter’s books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?
ANTONY BEEVOR (author and historian): Peter Rabbit (Celebrity edition of University Challenge)
(BBC Radio 2)
ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘B’ was a pseudonym used by Charles ens?
CONTESTANT: Bart Simpson.
FILM STUDIES
STEVE WRIGHT: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
CALLER: Jesus.
SPORT
ANNE ROBINSON: The point on a golf club or a tennis racket that gives the best contact is alliteratively known as the what spot?
CONTESTANT: The g-spot.
ANNE ROBINSON: In 1975 the first black tennis player to win the Wimbledon Men’s Singles title was Arthur who?
CONTESTANT: Askey.
ANNE ROBINSON: Who won the U.S. Open Tennis Championship wearing a black dress modelled on Audrey Hepburn’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
CONTESTANT: Roger Federer.
(All the Weakest Link)
MUSIC
PRESENTER: Name the festival started in 1895 by Sir Henry Wood.
CALLER: Glastonbury.
(TalkSPORT)
GEOGRAPHY
DARREN DAY: What area of Germany is the cake named after, made with chocolate, cream, kirsch and cherries?
CONTESTANT: Belgium?
(Spin Star, ITV1)
PRESENTER: What is the capital of Cuba?
CALLER: Ermmm…
PRESENTER: Take your time.
CALLER: Ermmm…
PRESENTER: Go on, have a guess.
CALLER: Is it Belgium?
PRESENTER: Er, not quite.
(Sun FM, Sunderland)
DALE WINTON: Alderney and Sark - are they part of the Channel Islands?
CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don’t know, are there islands in the English Channel? I’ve never heard of any. France - that’s near the English Channel isn’t it?
(In It To Win It, BBC1)
ANNE ROBINSON: Pakistan was part of which other state until it achieved independence in 1947?
CONTESTANT: Bulgaria.
(The Weakest Link)
DAVE LEE TRAVIS: In which European country are there people called Walloons?
CALLER: Wales.
QUIZMASTER: Where is the Sea of Tranquility?
CONTESTANT: Ibiza. (RI:SE, Channel 4)
MATHS
ANNE ROBINSON: What kind of dozen is 13?
CONTESTANT: Half a dozen.
(The Weakest Link)
MEDICINE
STEVE WRIGHT: On what part of the body is a lobotomy performed?
CONTESTANT: The bottom.
(BBC Radio 2)
HISTORY
PRESENTER: What was the date of the Battle of Hastings?
CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Er... was it 1974?
(Galaxy Radio, Leeds)
ANNE ROBINSON: Which English queen rode a chariot with knives on the wheels?
CONTESTANT (full of confidence): Victoria!
(The Weakest Link)
PRESENTER: Which ancient army was discovered in China in 1974?
CONTESTANT: The Territorial Army.
PRESENTER: What was Hitler’s first name?
CONTESTANT: Heil. (BBC Radio Merseyside)
(Breeze FM)
ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘T’ did British POWs use to escape from Second World War German prison camps?
CONTESTANT: I don’t know. Was it herbal?
(The Weakest Link)
POLITICS
PRESENTER: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
CALLER: George Bush.
(Viking FM)
PRESENTER: Name Prince Charles’s younger sister.
CALLER: Is it Camelia?
(The Ugly Phil Breakfast Show, Kerrang! Radio)
RELIGIOUS STUDIES
PRESENTER: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
CALLER: Jewish.
PRESENTER: That’s close enough.
(BRMB)
ANNE ROBINSON: In Roman Catholicism, baptism, confirmation and matrimony are three of the seven what?
CONTESTANT: Deadly sins.
(The Weakest Link)
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
ANNE ROBINSON: What man made structure built during the 3rd century BC is often said to be visible from space?
CONTESTANT: The Millennium Dome.
(The Weakest Link)
Presenter: Which prominent Birmingham family had a toposcope constructed in 1923 for the top of Beacon Hill in Lickey Hills?
CALLER: The Osbournes.
(BBC Radio WM)
GENERAL STUDIES
TERRY WOGAN: Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?
CONTESTANT: Hazzard. (Wogan’s Perfect Recall, Channel 4)
PRESENTER: According to legend, who shot an apple off the top of his son’s head?
CONTESTANT: Well, straightaway I’m thinking of Isaac Newton.
(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)
THE ARTS
PRESENTER: Who painted the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel?
CALLER: Leonardo di Caprio.
(2CR FM)
BIOLOGY
PRESENTER: Was the Tyrannosaurus Rex a carnivore or a herbivore?
CONTESTANT: No, it was a dinosaur.
(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)
ANNE ROBINSON: What type of bear lives in the Arctic?
CONTESTANT (after much thought): Penguin.
(The Weakest Link)
CLASSICS
ANNE ROBINSON: What was the principal language used by the ancient Romans?
CONTESTANT: Greek.
(The Weakest Link)
DOMESTIC SCIENCE
PRESENTER: Emmental and Double Gloucester are both types of what?
CALLER: Banks.
(Breakfast Toaster Quiz, Heart FM)
ENGLISH LITERATURE
JEREMY PAXMAN: Of all Beatrix Potter’s books, which is the only one to feature a human in the title?
ANTONY BEEVOR (author and historian): Peter Rabbit (Celebrity edition of University Challenge)
(BBC Radio 2)
ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘B’ was a pseudonym used by Charles ens?
CONTESTANT: Bart Simpson.
FILM STUDIES
STEVE WRIGHT: Johnny Weissmuller died on this day. Which jungle-swinging character clad only in a loincloth did he play?
CALLER: Jesus.
SPORT
ANNE ROBINSON: The point on a golf club or a tennis racket that gives the best contact is alliteratively known as the what spot?
CONTESTANT: The g-spot.
ANNE ROBINSON: In 1975 the first black tennis player to win the Wimbledon Men’s Singles title was Arthur who?
CONTESTANT: Askey.
ANNE ROBINSON: Who won the U.S. Open Tennis Championship wearing a black dress modelled on Audrey Hepburn’s in Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
CONTESTANT: Roger Federer.
(All the Weakest Link)
MUSIC
PRESENTER: Name the festival started in 1895 by Sir Henry Wood.
CALLER: Glastonbury.
(TalkSPORT)
GEOGRAPHY
DARREN DAY: What area of Germany is the cake named after, made with chocolate, cream, kirsch and cherries?
CONTESTANT: Belgium?
(Spin Star, ITV1)
PRESENTER: What is the capital of Cuba?
CALLER: Ermmm…
PRESENTER: Take your time.
CALLER: Ermmm…
PRESENTER: Go on, have a guess.
CALLER: Is it Belgium?
PRESENTER: Er, not quite.
(Sun FM, Sunderland)
DALE WINTON: Alderney and Sark - are they part of the Channel Islands?
CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Is that the English Channel? I don’t know, are there islands in the English Channel? I’ve never heard of any. France - that’s near the English Channel isn’t it?
(In It To Win It, BBC1)
ANNE ROBINSON: Pakistan was part of which other state until it achieved independence in 1947?
CONTESTANT: Bulgaria.
(The Weakest Link)
DAVE LEE TRAVIS: In which European country are there people called Walloons?
CALLER: Wales.
QUIZMASTER: Where is the Sea of Tranquility?
CONTESTANT: Ibiza. (RI:SE, Channel 4)
MATHS
ANNE ROBINSON: What kind of dozen is 13?
CONTESTANT: Half a dozen.
(The Weakest Link)
MEDICINE
STEVE WRIGHT: On what part of the body is a lobotomy performed?
CONTESTANT: The bottom.
(BBC Radio 2)
HISTORY
PRESENTER: What was the date of the Battle of Hastings?
CONTESTANT: Ooooh! Er... was it 1974?
(Galaxy Radio, Leeds)
ANNE ROBINSON: Which English queen rode a chariot with knives on the wheels?
CONTESTANT (full of confidence): Victoria!
(The Weakest Link)
PRESENTER: Which ancient army was discovered in China in 1974?
CONTESTANT: The Territorial Army.
PRESENTER: What was Hitler’s first name?
CONTESTANT: Heil. (BBC Radio Merseyside)
(Breeze FM)
ANNE ROBINSON: What ‘T’ did British POWs use to escape from Second World War German prison camps?
CONTESTANT: I don’t know. Was it herbal?
(The Weakest Link)
POLITICS
PRESENTER: Who was the Prime Minister before Tony Blair?
CALLER: George Bush.
(Viking FM)
PRESENTER: Name Prince Charles’s younger sister.
CALLER: Is it Camelia?
(The Ugly Phil Breakfast Show, Kerrang! Radio)
RELIGIOUS STUDIES
PRESENTER: What religion was Guy Fawkes?
CALLER: Jewish.
PRESENTER: That’s close enough.
(BRMB)
ANNE ROBINSON: In Roman Catholicism, baptism, confirmation and matrimony are three of the seven what?
CONTESTANT: Deadly sins.
(The Weakest Link)
SCIENCE AND TECHNOLOGY
ANNE ROBINSON: What man made structure built during the 3rd century BC is often said to be visible from space?
CONTESTANT: The Millennium Dome.
(The Weakest Link)
Presenter: Which prominent Birmingham family had a toposcope constructed in 1923 for the top of Beacon Hill in Lickey Hills?
CALLER: The Osbournes.
(BBC Radio WM)
GENERAL STUDIES
TERRY WOGAN: Which Duke resides at Woburn Abbey?
CONTESTANT: Hazzard. (Wogan’s Perfect Recall, Channel 4)
PRESENTER: According to legend, who shot an apple off the top of his son’s head?
CONTESTANT: Well, straightaway I’m thinking of Isaac Newton.
(Are You Smarter Than A Ten-Year-Old?)