Is it correct that my boyfriends ex wife who he did't like was involved by his family in his funeral arrrengments,was in hospital when he was dying, and attendant the funeral as a family member?

Your boyfriend's ex must have still felt a connection to him otherwise she would not have been to the hospital and attended the funeral. Maybe she understood better then anyone, what his wishes were for his funeral.

I don't think being 'correct' in this regard applies to this particular situation. Does it really matter now that it is done.

Tick

Perhaps it wasn't sensitive to you, but it sounds like she had a strong connection to him, and his family wanted her to be included, so I would let it go. Her presence though cannot change her relationship with him in real life. You were the person he loved, and that can't be changed by anyone.

I am very sorry for your loss.

There for many couples always a bond between ex's.

What an upsetting situation for you--first, his death and then the presence of his ex-wife at the funeral. However, your question makes me question the level of your emotional maturity. Funerals are for the living--not the dead. To memorialize, to grieve, to remember, to say goodbye...
She was a member of the family--by marriage, and belonged right where she was for the service as requested by the "living" family. I work in a funeral home... and I see that sometimes a death brings out the worst in people--they fight and argue while the arrangements are being made. Fighting over things that happened years ago--having nothing to do with the present reality of the situation and the purpose of the meeting--to make the arrangements.
It's really sad.
It is very sobering to be in the presence of death and one would hope it would inspire folks to be their best--To be open to love, compassion, and understanding... and to GIVE support as well as receive it. You may not have liked it--but it wasn't your decision, and it wasn't just about you.
Please forgive my "tone"--but I am tough loving you right now. It might be easier for you to be upset about "her" being there, instead of actually grieving your loss. Using "her" as a distraction from your deeper feelings.
Being mad is easier than being sad.
Does that make sense to you?
I wish you and the family well.

I honestly know what you are talking about I believe the ex-wife should have attended but should not have been part of the family. She or her husband did not want to be family when they got deviorced, unless there were children involved and then she needed to be there for them.

Nurse09, your input is great but you really must read the date of the original post for it be effective and worth your time. This thread started in December 2009, so could have already been dealt with.

Tick