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View Full Version : Hard to move on.


zxvfrr41
Nov 30, 2009, 08:52 PM
Moved to its own thread

I'm pretty much in the same boat as well. My girlfriend was in a 5 yr relationship from 19-24 yrs old. It was her only serious relationship. I am a lot older than her and have had time to date but have only been in two really serious relationships. I met her while she was on the outs with her ex. We emailed each other every day for about 3 months until she left her boyfriend and moved back with her parents. At that point, the relationship just kind of took off. After 4 months of an incredible relationship, she ended things. She said I am the most amazing man she has ever met and I've treated her as she always wished to be treated. She said she thought about me all the time. The problem is that she never intended to get into another serious long term relationship and when we started dating, she didn't expect to fall hard for me. She said that she doesn't see our relationship ever ending and that has conflicted with what she feels she needs to do and that is be on her own for awhile and then possibly even date others if the situation arises. She feels like she missed out on her younger years because of her relationship (abusive one no less) and feels she has not dated enough.

It's been about three weeks and I'm pretty devastated over this. To make matters worse, she still tells me that she misses me. During one of these moments, she said that she misses me, she misses everything, and that she misses feeling happy everday. She also says that what she feels and what she's trying to do are two different things.

I don't even know what to think anymore. I've been trying to minimize the contact but it's been extremely difficult.

vanheart
Nov 30, 2009, 09:10 PM
She says all of those things, but her actions are what's important.

Like you said, she ended things & never wanted to get serious.

She wants something else.

Let her figure out what she wants, and you do the same.

You shouldn't go after someone that doesn't want you.

Don't spend another 4 months going after her. Forget being friends.

friend4u178
Nov 30, 2009, 09:28 PM
It sounds to me like she was using you as her Rebound guy to ease her pain over her previous BF , as vanheart says her actions speak louder than her words and if she really loved you and wanted to be with you she would.

Read the below link to get a better understanding of Rebound Relationships.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/what-rebound-relationship-401839.html

vanheart
Nov 30, 2009, 09:39 PM
Hey man, another thing.

And excuse the previous tough love, but we all strive to be with someone that wants us & vis versa.

Not to fill a void in our life. Or something else.

You both haven't found it yet.

Me neither.