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Czr Crrll
Nov 25, 2009, 02:04 AM
So I like this girl, she's only 3 months older than I am, who's got nearly everything I like in a girl. She's awesome and I like her and I can't stop thinking about her and I'm pretty sure you've heard the story already... so I only met her 3 months ago (3's my lucky number this year or something :D) and I quickly made it into her friend group, I get along with her and her friends, and we already have our own personal "thing" that we joke about and its just great :) only problem is... she has a boyfriend about 2 or 3 years older than her (we're in 10th grade he's in 12th... ) who's a real ing but she seems to be head over heels for him :mad: they been together for almost 6 months now...

So I tell my friends and they all tell me to steal her from him but my heavy conscience doesn't want to let me follow through with it... I really don't want to stay in the "friend zone" and I'm totally hoping they break up before I become her "Dude she cries to about her relationships whos never gonna be with her" I'm friends with her boyfriend's friends and have an easy way of getting into his group to check out his flaws (those that aren't incredibly OBVIOUS that is) and I don't really see him have any enemies aside from myself who could support me on this...

Me and her talk {In person or IM [I hate the phone (Its realtime conversation and I can't correct things with physical gestures if I mess up xD) ]} a lot so I can learn things about her real quick. Like me, she's a videogame addict (we have kind of a competition thing going on I love it:D) so its easy to ask her out to an arcade to get to know her better, and just tell her her friends could tag along if she wants them to as a security method to avoid suspicion. That usually works out well since I can get a lot of tips on what she likes, doesn't like, what makes her laugh etc. not only from my own actions but from her friend's.

There's also other girls who I could get relationships with way easier than this girl. But I'm afraid that I'll end up hurting one of them with an abrupt breakup in case the one I'm after suddenly becomes available. (Heavy conscience again... I hate it but can't do anything about it... )

This is probably irrelevant but her boyfriend's been pushing her to have sex with him (Which I hate because I don't want her losing her virginity to that .) and she has been refusing so far. Her friends don't help as they are encouraging her to say yes (Normally joking but those thoughts tend to run deep late at night) that worries me since they might support him over me if I told them I wanted to be with her.

So thinking on it my options are:
A-Taking the fast approach and stealing her from under her boyfriend, probably getting her friend's disapproval and my own feelings of guilt in the process but ensuring no "friend zone".
B-Taking the slow approach in which I get to know her really well no hard feelings with her BF and win over her friends in the process but risk being stuck in the "friend zone".
C-Taking the experience approach and dating other girls to get dating experience, not getting to know the original girl as well and her friends might be indiferent or think I'm some sort of a man-whore xD.

Feels great to get this off my chest, I'd love your personal take on this and according to you guys (who are probably a lot older and have more experience) which of the above options is best. Of course, if you got another way of doing things I'd love to hear it.

SuperDry18
Nov 25, 2009, 02:24 AM
I think B shouldn't be an option. For one, I have fancied some people before and because they haven't admitted to liking me or I haven't read the signals I generally start to see them as just friends! And to see them as more than that would just be weird...

But then again, there is this ONE person who I'm friends with who I have always fancied since I met them and would get with them...

Are you friends with this girls boyfriend? If not, you shouldn't feel guilt for stealing her off him. But if you believe in karma and all.. haha
Do you think you have the potential to steal her off him?
& you have to think, if she can leave someone for someone else, what makes you think she wouldn't do it to you?
What sort of genuine person is she?

I personally would take C as an option! That way, your mind won't be focused on this girl you like now all the time and you mightn't get as 'close' as you would have with fancying her and just being her friend which could be easier for you.
Maybe in the long run after you've dated girls and not dedicated yourself to a taken one you'll be glad you have her friendship!

Friends last forever, relationships don't :).

I don't understand how old you are by your grade, I'm English :)

Good luck!

mudweiser
Nov 25, 2009, 03:05 AM
only problem is... she has a boyfriend about 2 or 3 years older than her

That's where I stopped reading.

She has a boyfriend. Can't pursue her.

The End

amicon
Nov 25, 2009, 05:10 AM
She's with someone else so step back and go for option C.

I wish
Nov 25, 2009, 07:47 AM
Option D

Learn from this experience and find someone who you can be happy with, who isn't already in another relationship.

88sunflower
Nov 25, 2009, 07:57 AM
Lets put it this way. How would you feel if you had a girlfriend and someone else had a crush on her and wanted to steal her away? Chances are you wouldn't be to happy about that.

Leave her alone and just keep her as a friend. She has a boyfriend and enough said.

Its selfish and immature of you to want to "steal" her away. You can't steal a person away from the one they love if they don't want to leave. Your only assuming she would leave this guy for you.

I think you need to realize the timing is terrible. You met a girl you fell for and she has another guy. Bum deal there. Move on and find another girl you will fall for.

Don't cause drama where there doesn't need to be drama.

sharkedo
Nov 25, 2009, 09:03 AM
Okay.. so the same thing basically just the other way around. I'm a girl with a boyfriend.. and had a guy friend who fell for me.. when I am pretty much 'married' living with my boyfriend. I found from my end.. it was so confusing. I love my boyfriend. But there are things I can't talk to him about.. and my (male) friend was always there for me.. and from my end it was awkward.. he was a good friend but I didn't like him that way. And we ended up having to stop talking.. he wasn't happy about that. And it was like a breakup.. because this guy really liked me.. all I'm saying is.. be careful. I honestly wouldn't do anything about it.. I mean crush's come and go.. and you're still so young. There are other girls out there for you. I know it sucks.. but its better you move on and don't tell her.. that way you can still be friends. I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your relationship you do have with her right now..

88sunflower
Nov 25, 2009, 09:31 AM
Crushes do come and go. One day you will look back and be thankful you didn't break them up. What if she truly loves him and his happy. Do you think it will make her happy having you try to come in between them. Its only going to hurt her and your friendship.

Keep your feelings to yourself. Maybe they will by chance break up and you can be there to cushion her fall.

jaime90
Nov 25, 2009, 09:42 AM
Nearly all of the things you have said in your post are ridiculous and childish. Trying to blackmail some guy so you can attempt to win over his girl is completely immature.
Honestly, if you really RESPECTED this young man and woman who have an existing relationship, (and have had one for 6 months,) you have only one option: LEAVE THEM ALONE.

ams24
Dec 15, 2009, 05:08 PM
I say go for it... it's a competition on out there people can't always control who they have feelings for. Its all a game relationships especially at that age. And if it doesn't work, then let her go move on to the next girl.