Hello all,

I have been thinking a lot lately (scary, eh?)... and I've been so lonely lately and have been unsuccessuful in relationalships with guys. I think it may be because I am such a passive person. Sometimes I feel like I have no opinion or it's 'whatever'. I feel like more of a follower. Is being a passive person a bad thing? Does it mean I am not smart? What does it mean? Should I try and take charge more? Be more firm and assertive? Or is this who I am? Will I ever find someone to be with? I really need to get out more with some friends and make it a point to see my college friends. They are important for me.

Any help or information on a passive person or how to change, etc would be helpful.

Thanks,
Justmee

Could you tell us how old you are please?

22 years old !

www.timesonline.co.uk/.../Management_Checklis_218624a.pdf - Similar (http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&rls=com.microsoft:*:IE-Address&rlz=1I7GZEZ&q=related:www.timesonline.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00218/Management_Checklis_218624a.pdf&sa=X&ei=lE0JS-uANdWfjAfjraj3AQ&ved=0CBEQHzAB)

i found this site that gives a lot of postive information on passive people..

passive people have a lot of good qualities...this site also gives ideas on how to be more pro active and not aggressive.

I suspect you already know what you need to do, and that your passivity is based on insecurity and fear. Being passive is often a response to being scared, in other words, its better to do nothing that to take any risks.

I suggest you start by doing small things. If being passive is part of your nature then you'll never turn into Miss Assertive, but you can begin by contacting your friends, making an effort with your appearance, keeping up with current events, and being interested in people.

Try and take the focus off yourself and being self conscious and take a genuine interest in the people around you - start with your family and friends. Learn to ask questions and listen, rather than just sit silently.