View Full Version : Just tired
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:09 AM
I am just tired of living, I don't feel like doing anything, I don't even feel like killing myself. It would be extremely easy and I still won't do it. I don't think I am going to my Army drills any more, or classes. I have just lost interest in doing anything, I have almost lost interest in getting help. People say it's not weak to ask for help, but the reasons I am asking for help make me weak.
Seriously, what kind if guy who has no work ethic, no interest in life, always lazy, not doing his work, being selfish all the time, thinking about stupid . Do you really want me leading soldiers in battle, I don't want me leading soldiers in battle. I wouldn't put me in charge of anything. A guy like me who screws up a great thing like I have doesn't deserve a second chance. People tell me I am smart with my head on straight. Too bad perception is reality. Whatever I just really find it hard to just care. I really don't have a reason to not care, or to be in the state I am in. The lack of reason kind of is the reason. I can't even read 5 pages in a book without losing interest. I'm probably going to get some stupid response from one of you saying that I am just being negative and I need to have a positive outlook on life. Well before you post, you can have the most positive outlook on yourself and your life, that just makes you a fool. I am being a realist, I am giving you my problems, I am not here to tell you about how great I am. I don't want attention and I don't really want anything for that matter. It's just that it would be nice knowing that I am not going to be sent to prison for going AWOL, and that I might be able to force myself to do something. As far as I can see I am going to need a lot of brainwashing and heavy medication, but it's doable I think.
Well I am just interested what your opinions are. I really don't feel like seeing a shrink so don't expect me to do that.
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 12:18 AM
Hi. I think everyone reaches some sort of point like this in life.
Kind of bored, feeling kind of pointless, feeling kind of well bleh.
I think it's normal, only because I went through it myslef.
I say ride it out. Still be responsible for your stuff [bills, rent... etc] and find something you like.
My thing turned out to be jogging and yoga. Try it. You do need to get up and try things-- who knows you may find your passion.
I'm not a good painter and well I paint and I love it. I'm not going to be the next picasso but I feel good when I do it.
Do you have a feel good activity? Maybe it's dancing. Some guys like dancing but think it's a little "gay" to do it-- I say screw 'em do what makes you happy.
Try new things and you'll find yourself once again.
I think you'll be okay :) No meds or shrinks needed!
Sarah
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:26 AM
I used to do a lot of things, learning a new language, doing school work, playing poker with my friends, watching TV, playing video games, cooking, exercise and a lot of other things. I find the more stuff I do the less interested I am. I haven't felt like doing anything for years, now I have finally stopped and I don't think I can start again on my own. I have already written off all my responsibilities, I feel more depressed but at least I don't have to put any effort in life for nothing. I am not satisfied with what did happen, is happening, or might happen. At least now I can be unsatisfied without putting mental or physical strain on myself. Seriously tell me what I am good at, I can't figure it out, I have tried thousands of things but I just get deeper into the pit of despair. I really can't think of anything new to try.
Zaithe
Nov 18, 2009, 12:31 AM
Hi, Sarah said one thing very true that its usual in life that mostly people in life just think once that they just can't do anything and they are more than a loser and lost all interest in things.
No need to any medication or any advices or something. You can't kill yourself because you are not fool. If you attempt to kill yourself then its serious but still you think that you useless and want to die but it's the things comes in life so bear it for sometime. This thing disturb many people in their life but when you ll come out of this after some time then you ll laugh on what were you think of yourself...
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:32 AM
Really, do you guys even read the posts.
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 12:33 AM
I used to do a lot of things, learning a new language, doing school work, playing poker with my friends, watching TV, playing video games, cooking, exercise and a lot of other things. I find the more stuff I do the less interested I am. I haven't felt like doing anything for years, now I have finally stopped and I don't think I can start again on my own. I have already written off all my responsibilities, I feel more depressed but at least I don't have to put any effort in life for nothing. I am not satisfied with what did happen, is happening, or might happen. At least now I can be unsatisfied without putting mental or physical strain on myself. Seriously tell me what I am good at, I can't figure it out, I have tried thousands of things but I just get deeper into the pit of despair. I really can't think of anything new to try.
You'll never figure it out if you just mope and stay at home.
I have to ask, have you been through a major breakup? Are you in a relationship now-- how are things going?
Sometimes bad relationships bring us down, okay well all the time. When relationships end, sometimes we move on so quickly that you later feel "it".
Sounds like you've done a lot of things-- why not write a book about it? I know writing can be boring but write yourself a bio. It'll be some hard work but once your old and grey and your about to croak over your going to want to pick up that book and see how you lived your life, badly or not.
DO something. No more moping.
You are the only one who can control this, not me or the next person that writes the next post, it's you!
Get off your butt... tomorrow. Because tonight is the last night you'll be mopey.
Sarah
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 12:35 AM
Really, do you guys even read the posts.
What answers are you expecting?
Sarah
Zaithe
Nov 18, 2009, 12:37 AM
Really, do you guys even read the posts.
Really you even read the post.
Read this
"I'm probably going to get some stupid response from one of you saying that I am just being negative and I need to have a positive outlook on life. Well before you post, you can have the most positive outlook on yourself and your life, that just makes you a fool. I am being a realist, I am giving you my problems, I am not here to tell you about how great I am. I don't want attention and I don't really want anything for that matter. It's just that it would be nice knowing that I am not going to be sent to prison for going AWOL, and that I might be able to force myself to do something. As far as I can see I am going to need a lot of brainwashing and heavy medication, but it's doable I think."
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:39 AM
No it's been a steady decline, I have never been in a relationship, so I can thankfully say that I have never had to put up with one. I don't want to work hard, I don't want to try something new I just want it to stop. I hate it, it is pointless and stupid to try anything. I don't want to write a book. I don't even know why I am even saying this stuff to anyone. Just bored I guess, it's really the only thing I am an expert on.
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:40 AM
What answers are you expecting?
Sarah
I was hoping you guys will tell me to go take a bunch of pills, or go pull a gun on a cop or something.
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:42 AM
Really you even read the post.
read this
"I'm probably going to get some stupid response from one of you saying that I am just being negative and I need to have a positive outlook on life. Well before you post, you can have the most positive outlook on yourself and your life, that just makes you a fool. I am being a realist, I am giving you my problems, I am not here to tell you about how great I am. I don't want attention and I don't really want anything for that matter. It's just that it would be nice knowing that I am not going to be sent to prison for going AWOL, and that I might be able to force myself to do something. As far as I can see I am going to need a lot of brainwashing and heavy medication, but it's doable I think."
Your right sorry, just a little pissed off right now, that fact that I was born is really getting to me, kind of hating my parents right now
Zaithe
Nov 18, 2009, 12:43 AM
I was hoping you guys will tell me to go take a bunch of pills, or go pull a gun on a cop or something.
Well its not the way or its not the solution, you have already answers which you think and want to give the same answers? Well that's not the case
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:48 AM
Where is a good place to go with no money? I kind of want to go to the middle east or something, maybe turkey, or central asia. Any ideas?
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 12:54 AM
no it's been a steady decline, I have never been in a relationship, so I can thankfully say that I have never had to put up with one.
Do you get rejected a lot [I'm just guessing] ?
What are your views on relationships?
How old are you?
Are you religious?
When was the last time you had sex?
Really this may sound like 20 questions to you but it could uncover some stuff.
I don't want to work hard, I don't want to try something new I just want it to stop. I hate it, it is pointless and stupid to try anything. I don't want to write a book. I don't even know why I am even saying this stuff to anyone. Just bored I guess, it's really the only thing I am an expert on.
If you keep doing what your doing your going to keep getting what your getting.
Basically if you hate your sh!t, do something about.
I remember a neighbour I had that had no legs, he lost them when he was a teen, and damn that man would go swimming, he'd take his dog out for walks, he gardened, he looked at the world like it was his. He was an inspiration to the neighbourhood.
I bet if he could get his legs back he would've been beyond happy, but guess what not having them didn't bring him down. He said it took him some time to process the whole handicap but he said hell "if my sh*t stinks, I should change my sh*t".
You know what he makes sense.
Time to change your sh*t man.
Sarah
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 12:55 AM
Where is a good place to go with no money? I kind of want to go to the middle east or something, maybe turkey, or central asia. Any ideas?
Moving away won't change how you feel. You can't run away from yourself.
Sarah
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 12:59 AM
Do you get rejected a lot [I'm just guessing] ?
What are your views on relationships?
How old are you?
Are you religious?
When was the last time you had sex?
Really this may sound like 20 questions to you but it could uncover some stuff.
If you keep doing what your doing your going to keep getting what your getting.
Basically if you hate your sh!t, do something about.
I remember a neighbour I had that had no legs, he lost them when he was a teen, and damn that man would go swimming, he'd take his dog out for walks, he gardened, he looked at the world like it was his. He was an inspiration to the neighbourhood.
I bet if he could get his legs back he would've been beyond happy, but guess what not having them didn't bring him down. He said it took him some time to process the whole handicap but he said hell "if my sh*t stinks, I should change my sh*t".
You know what he makes sense.
Time to change your sh*t man.
Sarah
First of all there is a huge difference between something that happens to you and something you do to yourself because of your incompetence.
I have never been rejected as far as I know, I don't like relationships they just ruin peoples lives, they are pointless and really what's the point. I am 20 but that has nothing to do with it. I have never had sex, really don't want to never really cared, had a few opportunities but just didn't have the urge.
Zaithe
Nov 18, 2009, 01:01 AM
just a little pissed off right now, that fact that I was born is really getting to me, kind of hating my parents right now
You say little really?? Well I know what type of timing you having buddy and I really feel that you can even hate your parents. But you also don't want to be get answered or don't want to force yourself and second its not the big thing, son you will be get out of this situation. So just bear for some time I know you are not crazy and will not try crazy thing in this situation
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 01:02 AM
I would go as far as to say I would love to have something bad happen to me that wasn't my fault. At least then I could have something to blame my problems on and then be able to work on making myself a better person. But you can't unf### a f###up.
Zaithe
Nov 18, 2009, 01:08 AM
Going far is not the solution because all things are in your mind and you can't go far with your mind isn't?
Just relax and if you can then look at your things and see which things are wrong and making you really mad and helpless. Reorganize yourself again, from speak to sleep, check everything. Find the answers because its inside your mind, every person feel calm little when it told it problem to somebody but it not the solution, the problem arise again after some time so rearrange your life and that's not advice that's necessary
mudweiser
Nov 18, 2009, 01:09 AM
First of all there is a huge difference between something that happens to you and something you do to your self because of your incompetence.
I have never been rejected as far as i know, I don't like relationships they just ruin peoples lives, they are pointless and really whats the point. I am 20 but that has nothing to do with it. I have never had sex, really don't want to never really cared, had a few opportunities but just didn't have the urge.
Hey I get you. Sometimes relationships aren't for everyone. I'm on that boat, and so are a few members on AMHD.
Wishing for bad stuff to happen is ridiculous, if you really wanted it you would've walked in front of a highway to get hit by a car, but guess what you're here, talking. You don't really want that, you want answers to fix this so called bordem.
Go to school, really, your 20 shouldn't you be in college? What are you doing with your life. Oh that's right nothing, and hating your parents. That's really pathetic.
Your obviously looking for answers you can't find.
The only person who can change how you feel is you.
Sarah
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 01:22 AM
I am a sophomore at one of the most expensive schools in the country with a full ride from the Army through ROTC. I am not responsible enough to manage my time wisely, I have no work ethic and I have lost interest it doing anything. Like I said before do you really ant someone who can't even manage their time to lead troops in battle, do you want your tax money to pay for me? I would be pissed off if I knew my tax money was going to pay $200,000 to get me through school so I can become an officer and get a ton of people killed. Well your not I am failing 3 of my classes because I didn't do the work and now I am getting kicked out. I have no money, I cannot pay for my apartment, the power, gas, or anything else. There is no work in this town and unemployment is 15% I don't even have enough money to get out of this town. I did this, it's my fault, I don't want any sympathy or anything. I mean I am pretty much dead on the inside anyway there isn't much left.
seenbutnotheard
Nov 18, 2009, 01:26 AM
If I walked in front of a bus on purpose it wouldn't count. It would have to be someone else's fault, hurting yourself just to have something bad happen to you takes all your credibility away.