Ok, so I'm going to return for Thanksgiving break and my ex will be in town. I want to ask her to coffee so we can talk, because originally we had intended on maintaining some sort of relationship (a relationship that was never really clarified).

I thought we had mutually broke up, and she hasn't tried talking to me... I think she is in the college busy and high life so to say, if she's not studying she's socializing.
We haven't spoken in well to be honest we haven't honestly communicated sense we left for college. I really hope she decides to join me for coffee.

We talked about being good friends, but she hasn't even acknowledged my existence; for instance the only two times she called were when she was drunk. It was a 2.5 year relationship, we've been away from each other for nearly three months...

Well the questions are
a: what do I say to her? What do I do ask about over coffee?

And

b: should I wait until we speak to move on

And c: Should I ask any questions about her college life?

No none of it. She is doing college and living the college life... it has been 3 months since you broke up and your relationship lasted for 2.5 years. Must you always be on the pursuit? You need to live life for you. You asked her for a coffee and if she does not show up... move on... no need to become involved any further.

Why do you want to meet her? To give yourself hope?

You should move on and apply NC right now. If you don't, you will only have lingering pain and thought. She has moved on, I think it's high time you do too.

If you accidentally meet her on the street, be polite and move on. Otherwise, planning to meet her is a bad idea. It sounds like she has gone No Contact. You should too.

Let the wounds heal, unpack or discard the baggage, and let the emotional dust settle. Someday, maybe, you will be friends but it sounds like it is too soon to try that right now.

a: what do I say to her? What do I do ask about over coffee?

You don't say anything. If she hasn't tried to contact you, then she probably doesn't want to talk to you. Why don't you respect her wishes and leave her alone?


b: should i wait until we speak to move on

You don't need to speak to move on. You find closure from within yourself.


c: Should I ask any questions about her college life?

Wait until you've completely healed from this break up, i.e. not wanting to see her only to rekindle the relationship, before you talk again.

I know it sucks when we can't talk to our ex. I feel for you because I've completely lost touch with my ex gfs. If they wanted to talk to us, they would let us know.

Be patient, give more time for both sides to heal from the break up before worrying about talking again. Let it happen naturally. If you force the issue, it will just push them away further.