OK, here's the situation:

We've been together 18 months, and were just engaged 3 months ago. We live together. We are best friends, have never fought about anything important. We are both very close with each others families. We have made most wedding arrangements. She has recently decided to end things, because the spark seems to be missing...

I admit the passion has been lacking since the engagement, but I can't help but think this has a lot to do with her sister getting engaged the day before we did, on my birthday of all days. This devastated her, and now I feel like this has ruined her excitement for our wedding, taking the spotlight away from her. I feel like I'm paying the price, and no matter what I tried to do to make her feel special, sharing her engagement with her sister and her fiancé (whom she despises) has put a damper on things.

I am not sure what to do at this point. She left 2 days ago now, and we're supposed to talk it through tomorrow night. I'm a confident man, but I have to admit I'm scared silly. Her parents have been contacting me to offer support, and her sister has sent an email offering the same. I have not contacted my fiancée (?), and have not returned her texts.

I've been doing the usual soul-searching and have tried to be objective about things as much as possible. Am I wrong to think that the spark in the relationship is something that, now that's it's become this big of an issue for her, be worked on? Isn't that what relationships are all about? We are the best of friends, trust, love, respect and care about each other immensely. I am willing to accept a part of the responsibility for letting things get to this point, but surely there is something that can be done to re-kindle and put the fire on again?

I don't know how someone can break up with someone just because the spotlight is off them and their wedding. I mean she might feel bad, and maybe the answer for that is to put the wedding off till after the sister's wedding, but calling the whole thing off and breaking up? That can't be right. There must be something else that made her do it.

Saying the spark is not there is usually a cop out, something like "Its not you, its me"...

If she chooses to leave and doesn't want to work on things or talk things out, there is nothing much that can be done. You can try to rekindle the flames and hope for the best IF she does come back to you and want to make things work, but don't go chasing after her right now. She has to make this decision as it seems she is very confused now and doesn't know what she wants to do.

Good luck