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dave2247
Nov 17, 2009, 07:08 AM
I know the answer to this but just need the reassurance. My ex contacted me about being hopeless and sad in her life but still only wants to be friends. I am not over her yet and need to heal. I had to tell her not to contact me anymore and she almost got upset at me for this. (?? ) I need to know I did the right thing. It was so hard to tell her this but I felt I would be in a vicious cycle unless I did this, No Contact is the only way, right??

minaeve25
Nov 17, 2009, 07:12 AM
I think you did the right thing to protect yourself.

kctiger
Nov 17, 2009, 07:18 AM
Yes, you did the right thing. I am not sure if it is widely known or even believed, but I for one pretty much hold it to fact: we don't owe our ex anything, including friendship. All those privileges are thrown out of the window once you break up.

It isn't personal, it is just the natural way of life. Well done!

I wish
Nov 17, 2009, 09:43 AM
No contact is not the only way out, but since you want to get out of the vicious cycle, no contact is a useful and highly effective method to help you heal from the break up.

The reason you go into no contact is so that you don't build false hope and don't over-analyze all the details, which are all unhealthy behavior.

itried
Nov 17, 2009, 11:51 AM
The fact that you say that you need to heal hints that she dumped you.

Never forget that she thought her life was worse with you in it.

Tell her that you feel bad for her but there is nothing else that you can do for her. Besides, why should you be the shoulder to cry on while she waits for another guy's body to rub up on?

You did the right thing. She's selfish and so too should you be.

Fr_Chuck
Dec 1, 2009, 07:11 PM
Yes, and if she tries to contract just don't, don't answer her calls, don't read her emails, just stop