I haven't told anyone about this... if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it... same with my boyfriend... we are not married yet, we are taking things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. You know? Well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion... any words of advise?? Should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance?

You need to discuss it with him. This is his child too.

Abortion is by no means a method of birth control. How about adoption?

If it were not for adoption my wonderful in-laws would have no children, I would not have children since my in-laws adopted my husband.

There are other options available besides abortion. Abortion is not painful physically, but is painful emotionally.

This sounds harsh, but is reality.

You will remember for the rest of your life that you killed an innocent baby, a baby that did not ask to be conceived. You will grieve, you will remember that particular day every day for the rest of your life.

Pregnancy is something one must consider when deciding to have sex. The only thing that is 100% effective in birth control is abstinence.

I bring my children up to face the consequences of their actions, as most parents do. Now it is time to face the consequences.

Discuss it with your boyfriend, your parents and his parents. Please make an informed decision.

Depends on what state you live in as to whether you can legally even get an abortion.
It's not typically something I would discuss openly with a lot of people as you will get answers like "You are killing a baby" and so on and so forth, etc...
A lot of people feel this way, but there are also a lot of people out there who believe that a woman has the right to choose.
Please check out www.plannedparenthood.com for some extra resources in helping you make your final
Decision.
You should discuss this with your current boyfriend, but please do not let him influence you into doing anything you are unsure that you want to do.

Best of luck.

If you had a baby now you would be so unhappy... so if you are pregnant, you will choose to terminate the life of the unborn child... I think I read that right. If you are not prepared mentally, physically, financially, to assume responsibility for your actions - and I think I am reading that you are not - it is a shame that an unwilling, unsuspecting baby has to pay the consequences. Birth control is free - any public health will give you some. They even have condoms there that they will give out. You want to be an adult in bed, then act like an adult in other areas and protect yourself.
If you are pregnant, yes you have the right to make the choise for an abortion - does your state allow abortions? There are other options such as having the child and placing the child for adoption. But it is your decision. I do not feel sad for you, but I do feel for the possible child.

This girl is on the pill.

I am pro-choice.

However, a person in my family did have an abortion and I see the emotional toll yearly on the day that the abortion was carried out and also on the date that the baby should have been born.

I just want her to make the right decision and to be informed about all of the decisions out there.

I am totally bias when it comes to issues of abortions... today I have two couples that want children and cannot have any... one is adoptioning... and what I understand there are many couples and single women wanting a child... please consider the needs of these people before a decision is made... contact a family lawyer and or an adoption agency... or and speak to your pastor... look and make a serious effort in your state or province to find out information about adoption and hopefully they will give you an alternative to abortion... make some one's life a happy one by giving them the opportunity to rise your child... please do not give up on hope... consider adoption...

I am on birthcontrol! I haven't miss a single day or hour in nearly 8 years! And we do use protection... that is why I am so flustered with the situation... how is it possible if I do all the things to prevent. I am and adult, and I am talking responsibility for my actions but I do not feel it is fair to bring a person into this world that I can not give 100% too.

It is called "birth control" not "birth prevention" The only thing that is 100% is abstinence.

No, it is not fair bringing a person into this world that you cannot give 100% attention to, you should have thought of that before. Now it is too late.

But there are people out there who would love to give 200% to a child, but they can't have any.

Consider giving happiness to someone who would otherwise not have any.

This is a very contriversial subject. However... I am Pro-Life. I do have friends that have had abortions and down the road, they regret their decision. This is your own flesh and blood you are talking about.

I got pregnant at the age of 17 and abortion wasn't an option for me. I told myself that if I was that irresponsible to have unprotected sex then I needed to pay the consequences and this child is innocent. Believe me... I was young and definitely thought I was not ready to be a mom. I was in college and was having a good time. Needless to say, I don't regret having my daughter. I could have given her up for adoption but I wouldn't be able to live with myself either if I did that! (Even though I do believe in adoptions. There are many people out there that can't have children and want them. Then there are people out there that just because they "aren't ready" decide to abort.)

I had my child, married the man that got me pregnant and the marriage ended after 5 years. I married him because I got pregnant. I was young and dumb.

Do I have any regrets having my daughter... HELL NO! She is the best thing that ever happened to me! She keeps me honest!

If you are persistent about not wanting this child then carry the child for nine months and give him/her up for adoption. This baby deserves a chance at life!

I am pro choice because I believe we should have to choice to do with our bodies whatever we wish. Do I believe in abortion? Under certain circumstances, yes. Others, no.

I am so very happy that my husband's birth parents gave him up for adoption. They were college students from Russia here in the U.S. who were involved in an arranged marriage. The money and marriage would
Have ended had the families back in Russia knew that there was premarital sex.

The couple that adopted him are the best people in the world. He has 2 sisters and one brother. All were adopted except for the oldest sister.

His parents wanted a large family, preferably 6 or more children. After the eldest was born his mother had 15 miscarriages in the span of 2 years. It was devastating, but they began to adopt children who were unwanted pregnancies.

They are the most loving and wonderful people that I have ever met in my life.

Please consider giving your child a wonderful wealthy life like was given to my husband.

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
No abortions! Why can't you at least have the kid and put it up for adoptions. If you have an abortion the baby, no matter how small it is, will feel the pain of doctors scraping him/her out of your body. People don't think they can feel pain, but the very moment they are given life they can feel pain. All newborns go to Heaven, and when he/she goes to Heaven that baby would wonder "why?" Just don't get pregnant. If you already are, at least think about this. I don't believe in killing new life. It's literally like giving birth anyway and cutting him/her up. Think about it.

It may be your body, but that doesn't mean that the life in your body is your to take. It's that of another. People seem to have this mentality that just because the unborn child was not born into the world yet that killing it isn't murder. But it was given life. Therefore, it was murder and in the end God has punishments set for those who commit murder. You've heard of the saying "an eye for an eye". Don't kill what you have irresponsibly have brought into this world.

There are some adoption agencies and families that will work with mothers birthing children, they will pay for all your needs just as long asas you agree to take care of your body and the child. They will foot the bill, I know you aren't ready, soemparents tell me your never ready to have children. The thing is, I don't believe you should have an abortion, I think you should adopt, there are way too many people out there desperate to have children to take that hope away. Who knows? Maybe that thing in your wob is the one who was going to cure cancer?

I am pro choice because I believe we should have to choice to do with our bodies whatever we wish. Do I believe in abortion? Under certain circumstances, yes. Others, no.

I am so very happy that my husband's birth parents gave him up for adoption. They were college students from Russia here in the U.S., who were involved in an arranged marriage. The money and marriage would
have ended had the families back in Russia knew that there was premarital sex.

The couple that adopted him are the best people in the world. He has 2 sisters and one brother. All were adopted except for the oldest sister.

His parents wanted a large family, preferably 6 or more children. After the eldest was born his mother had 15 miscarriages in the span of 2 years. It was devestating, but they began to adopt children who were unwanted pregnancies.

They are the most loving and wonderful people that I have ever met in my life.

Please consider giving your child a wonderful wealthy life like was given to my husband.

The part about miscarrages is why to me abortion is almost a slap in the face... I think the reason I am so anti-abortion, is that my parents weren't ready for me and had seriously considered it. The moment I found that out changed everything. It's scary to think about how close to not being able exist I was. Please don't abort. In the end it is your decision, I just think that years down the road you wold regrett it.
You do not seem to have any real good reasons to abort this child... If you said that you had some medical condition that could kill you if you carried this child to full term that could possibly change things but just you not being ready to have a child... then give him/her to adoption.

I personally would advise you to keep the baby and go through the adoption process. Quite frankly whether you feel it now or later you are going to have so much guilt and issues knowing that you are responsible for killing your child and not even giving him or her a chanch in life. Even if it means a life with a different family that could provide for him or her. So my advice is to talk and discuss this with your family and your boyfriend. Going through this situation will open your eyes to rather your boyfriend is as good as he is, and is willing to stand by you with whatever decision is made. Adoption is the best option, that is my advice and opinion. I would also like to add that an abortion may prevent you from being able to get pregnant in the future.

Joe

After reading all of the posts have you decided what to do yet? If you are still so worried about getting pregnant, have you considered getting your tubes tied? That operation can be reversed at a later, should you EVER decide you are ready to bear a child and take responsibility for that life.

Most doctors will not tie the tubes of a woman who has not yet had 2 - 3 children and who is under a certain age because the reversal process does not guarantee that a pregnancy will occur.

Of all the doctors and specialists I know the only way they will tie the tubes of a woman who has not had a certain number of children and is youger than their specified age is if pregnancy would be dangerous to the welfare of the woman.

That said... I too would like an update.

Thanks, J_9. I only mentioned the tubal ligation because I knew two doctors who would do that. One was the county medical examiner and the other was an OB/GYN in a hospital I worked at. Maybe it was not kosher, as they would come in on Saturdays when the OR was closed. It was also 20 years ago.

I still am in favor of this woman practicing abstinence if she is still so worried about getting pregnant and not being to bear the consequences.

Ahhh, I bet you are right. I bet it is not kosher, but like you said, that was 20 years ago and times they have a changed.

I agree with the abstinence too. But I am still wondering if we will get an update.

I just read today about a new procedure for birth control. A small pliant tube is inserted into the Fallopian tube, allowing tissue to build up and blocking sperm from entering. There was no study included in this report about effectiveness, side effects, or complications. So take it wth a grain or two of salt.

The planet can barely support the number of human beings on it as it is, so what is the point of having a child just so you won't be judged by other people?

The planet can barely support the number of human beings on it as it is, so what is the point of having a child just so you won't be judged by other people?

That is maybe where murderers, rapists and molesters come in... not the innocent!!

Making plans on killing a child... is premeditated murder... short and simple... use birth control and understand this fact... birth control is not 100 percent effective... have a baby when you are ready... better yet have sex... when you are ready to have a baby... I am not going to be politically correct when it comes to abortion... this hurts me dearly to write...

Honey, you need to do what you feel is right for you. I am very pro-choice, even though I have 5 kids. If I were ever in a situation where I knew I could not afford another child or give 100% to another child, I would consider abortion. Only you know what is best for you and your situation. A lot of woman go through this everyday, and there are many support groups out there to help you through it, if that is what you decide. Good luck to you Hun!!

Why is killing sperm and eggs (birth control) any different to abortion? To me the distinction between a potential life and life is 4 to 6 months after conception. To some people it's birth to some it's conception and to others (eg Catholics) it's as soon as sperm leaves the body.
Most people here do not consider birth control murder and would be criticised for making someone feel guilty about using it. I'm not saying abortion should be used as birth control but accidents happen and it's better not to have a child you can't give 100% to.
We all need to respect that everyone has their own opinion on what constitutes life.

Abortion is murder.

Abortion is murder.

Murder is the illegal killing of another human being so I'll think you'll find you are incorrect in your definition.

A baby is a human being. When you can see eyes, nose and a whole body and a heart beat even at 5 weeks. Yes it is human. My defination is quite right.

My point is it's not illegal therefore not murder.

Its still illegal in some places. Just because it is not illegal in others does not make it right.

Its still illegal in some places. Just because it is not illegal in others does not make it right.

Yes I agree that it being legal does not make it right but you not agreeing with it does not make it wrong.
Are you so narrowminded that you cannot respect anybody else's opinion?

OK--First Off this gal ISN'T saying she is pregnant; she is saying that what if she got pregnant should she get an abortion and should she tell her boyfriend about it or just have it done.

I am Pro-Choice-I feel a woman should have a right to do with her body what she wishes. I feel it should be a mutual decision between the father & mother to have this done. I do not feel abortion should be a form of birth control--but I do feel that it should be available out there if a woman chooses to take this path.

'nough said.

There are two ways to live your life one is as through nothing is a miracle the other is as through every thing is a miracle... Albert Einstein

Website to visit... http://www.bible.ca/s-Abortion.htm

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
I think you have to make a choice that you will be able to live with all your life. For me their was never a right time or had the money to do it. But you know I would never change having my children, making the decision to have them.

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
Don't have a abortion alone, this is a time where you should get all the support you can. Your boyfriend would probably much rather go through it with you then have you be alone and scared. If you do decide to have a abortion, just make sure you use protection until you are both financially stable and mentally ready. Good luck on whatever decision you make

Discuss it with him... that child did not ask to be brought in to this world it's not the baby's fault if I was you and I was pregnant I would have that baby... Think before you do this because if you get rid of the baby now will you be able to have another one a few years down the road!!

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
I do not believe in abortion myself, I am a mother of 7 children, and I look into their little eyes how could have never have saw how pretty they are. But yet it is your choice. If you are unable to care for a child maybe someone could be blessed by the best gift of all life. Or maybe a family member can help you until you are ready to care for the little one yourself. If you must have an abortion please be more careful next time for this will be the hardest choice you will have to make. I say let him know. If he loves you he will work with you , and make your choice a lot easier. Good luck, Its your body, your mind , but it's a child soul, that you created.

That is true so please talk to your man and tell him what is on your mind other wise when you do decide to have a child you might not be able to have one... please talk to him now!! Good luck

If you want my opinion, abortion is wrong. If you aren't carful about sex and are willing to take that risk, you should have to deal with it. You should be held accountable for your own actions. But that's just my opinion mind you.

Don't do it there's people in this world. Wanting babies and if you are think about yourself no one else you will regret it OK :)

I know what there on about its your body and mind just think about it you will live with it on your mind it will never go away and you fell the pain if you get read of the baby because I have loosed two just sit down with your boyfriend and have a good talk about it all the best hope all goes well

Is there a chance you are?? ABSTINENCE GIRL!! Control your stuff! Abortion- killing off a poor defensless baby, who could one day look up to the mommy with unconventional love, uh eah pretty cruel. It is your destiny.You had to have sex, therefore there is a baby. That is the conclusion, that's how it is. If you are not pregnantm learn from this: BC pills, condoms less sex!!

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
You will need to discuss it with him or you will live with guilt for the rest of your life if both of you decide its not the right time at least you have someone to help you through it it can be emotional and having him to talk to before and after really will help you
Best of luck hope you can decide with his help what to do and another thing why should you have to deal with it alone it not your fault it happened and he should have to deal with it 2 not you alone you wouldn't have to tell any family members

Hey girl , look I know you have asked me a question and I have not been on in a few days but look if you don't want to have a baby now and you want to wait then tell the guy you are with he will understand... cause I have been there and I have been though it so just talk to him and trust me he will understand or if not then he is not the rite man for u

I will share my experience with you hun, (some of have prob read it) I found out I was pregnant about a year ago and I wanted to keep the baby but through pressure from my ex and my family I had to give it up.
My mum threated to kick me out and have nothing to do with me if I had kepted it, I would have had no where to go. So I did it and regret it to this day, it is very emotional and the nurses and staff at the hospital treated you as if you were scum! I had to have councilling and everything to get over the heartache and pain. I cried every night and had to pick myself up and move on. I think about them everyday.

Will never forgive myself

Hope it helps any advice I can give I'm here

Xx

Keep the child. You were irresponsible about not getting pregnant, so to make up for it, you should be responsible about your child. You got yourself into this mess, so now you must pay the consequences. If you didn't want a child, you should not have had sex.

I'd say that it would be best to get an abortion. It's because you wouldn't want to be unhappy with your child, or having your child feel unwanted later on. As well, you would want the best possible future(s) for your potential child(ren), right? So not having enough money will put them in a less stimulating environment, which will limit their future. So, by saving having children until later, when life is more stable and secure for you, it would be better for the relationship between you and your boyfriend, and be better for your children in the long run.

I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??
Yea that's it.. just murder a poor baby

I say abrotion is worng I don't thinks its right to kill an unborn baby you might not think of like this but I do this is murder no matter how you put it

Murder is the illegal killing of another human being so i'll think you'll find you are incorrect in your definition.


The illegal killing of another human being? When man has the power to make laws how do we determine who is the right person for the job. Thousands of men and women die on death row all of the time for something that they did not do. People are killed every day needlessly. Oh! The power of opinion. Thank god the right people were there to charge scott peterson with 2 murders and not 1. 2 people get hot for each other and when they are selfish people they just take the life right out of the ~problem~ don't they?

Okay sweetie not coming off rude but no abortion it is very sad and hurts!! Maybe adoption and no one is really ever ready for a baby take the responsibility! :D


I haven't told anyone about this....if I had a baby now id would be so unhappy. I don't have the money or the time kto put into it.....same with my bf....we are not married yet, we are takin things one step at a time, if we had a baby it would screw up our plans. ya know? well if I turn out to be pregnant I'm considering an abortion....any words of advise???? should I juts have the abortion and not tell anyone, should I discuss it with him and just take the chance??

Okay sweetie not coming off rude but no abortion it is very sad and hurts!! Maybe adoption and no one is really ever ready for a baby take the responsibility! :D

Ignorant!!
This is the most pro-life comments I have yet to read.
I can't believe that people are so judgmental and pushy I believe its no bodies concern but you, your boyfriend and your family.

The emotional pain of an abortion is less to deal with the emotional pain of abandonment and uncertainty of if they are in a good home or not.

Do what makes your life happy and what is good for you!!
I have had one child and aborted my second and I am very thankful to have that option. I feel that as a women I am not required to give birth to every "embryo" (sperm that meets the egg) and either raise it or let someone else. I have a right to make a choice.

People miscarry all the time during the same time frame that an abortion would happen... same time, different situation... some people want babies (choice) and have a miscarriage (not choice) on the other hand some people don't want a baby and get pregnant (not choice) and have an abortion (choice)... in the end both side deal with it emotionally, of course we know how making a baby happens and clearly this person is doing everything to prevent it but sometimes it just happens.

Most people keep quiet because it is a hard choice to make and some people like on here are just one sided and push guilt on people to have children when they themselves know they can't provide for the potential child properly then in a future time frame. Then they wounder why there are so many people in poverty and on the systems... having a child is something that should not be pressured but something that is a blessing, gift, and wanted.

Well Keep it, abort it, adopt it...
Its your life, your body, and most importantly your choice.

Ignorant!!!!
this is the most pro-life comments I have yet to read.
I can't believe that people are so judgmental and pushy I believe its no bodies concern but you, your bf and your family.

the emotional pain of an abortion is less to deal with the the emotional pain of abandonment and uncertainty of if they are in a good home or not.



MAC12... double check the dates as posts are kept indefinitely in order to help other people who may be searching for the same sort of information.

The OP did ask for opinions and thoughts. The other posters did just that. No one has to agree, hence the different opinions on the thread.

You make a valid point regarding the emotional pain, and whether one choice is more painful than another... however, as with the other posters' responses, this too is a matter of opinion.

Abortion is a topic that will always have different views depending on who you ask, what their experiences have been, and what their beliefs may be.

I'm facing the same problem as you. But my result is different from yours as I tried the pregnancy test and it's POSITIVE...

I'm not ready to take up the responsibility as I'm still too young for this. My boyfriend listened to my reasons and ready to support me in anything. So should I get an abortion?

A friend of mine did hers on Jan this year and was pregnant again same time as me. So now she kept asking me that should she abort her 2nd pregnancy again?? Will it affect her health??