OK now my girlfriend wants to move with me to ny. She has a son and they do not have a costody agreement I know that it will be smarter to wait till they have one before she moves but we are afriad that she won't be able to move we are getting married when I redeploy back to the states what can I do to make this go the way we want it to?

too many variables... starting with what state you are in. Each state has their own laws about move away cases. Hopefully, you're not in CA... Check with an attorney. There needs to be a custody agreement. What have been the arrangements so far? How willing is the father to this arrangement? Keep in mind, that if your girlfriend moves the child out of state, it could be considered "kidnapping" of the sort. You really need to speak with an attorney to make sure you do it legal like. Or at, the father and/or a mediator. There is a lot at stake in moveaway cases. Don't take what anyone says here as law... seek the professionals in this case and good luck!

She needs to take care of business before she attempts to move. Otherwise the entire move could backfire on her. Does the current father see the child at this time ?