My girlfriend and I had a mutual breakup. We never had any fights or large problems with each other. I made some mistakes and living together didn't give us space we needed as we are both under tons of stress. I also should mention that she struggles with depression right now so that may be part of the problem. She has told me in person that she still has feelings for me but she wants to be friends for a while. She also said I could ask her out on a date in a month or two(when ever she feels better). Now, I have changed a lot and realized my mistakes and fixed the ones I can outside the relationship,its only been a fews weeks but I'm starting to go crazy. Its been hard for me to wear the smile and be positive around her and Extremely hard to try and not talk to her about our relationship. I don't know what to do, I've tried filling each day will activies and stuff to get my mind off her but its hard when I still feel like I'm working toward being together with her again. Can anyone help me or give advice? Has anyone ever even meet someone in my position that ended up getting back together? I just don't want to be jealous and turn into something that pushes her away.

All you can do is give her space. Don't force her to make any decisions about the two of you and especially don't talk about your relationship. This has nothing to do with you but has everything to do with her. Let her get her head straight and go from there. Whether this will involve you or not is anyone's guess.

Trust me, you don't want to be involved with someone who is having psychological issues. You will end up as her therapist. The best thing for you is to do what's best for you. However, this concept just doesn't include her at this time.

Good luck.

Break ups are always hard,even when they are mutual..

It becomes even more difficult when yo uare speaking to that other person and trying to help them...

But what happens is the person who is providing the support has no one that they can talk too and get support from... it becomes destructive and even more heart breaking..

Your ex needs to contact her councillor if she has one,and you need head space.

The way to get this is to go no contact... that will be hard,its never easy,but it's the only way you will get perspective for you and perhaps without you your ex will seek professional help to deal with her depression and you will both be more the wiser and stronger for it.

Also one of the problems is I have to see you at lest twice a week because of the church groups I belong to.

Maybe rejiggle your time table so it does not always coinside with hers?

Can the church help her?

Well, she is seeing help at school a therapist and I think now a psychotherapist. She isn't never really talks about her feelings and stuff like the women at in our church group. Not only that she doesn't really have ne girlfriends, she has a lot of guy friends. Which is one thing that is driving me crazy now... Hence you saying I need head space I think you are right about that.

My advice is too take a step back back from this situation,there are a lot of factors within a relationship and in a break up that are beyond your control... but you can control what you expose yourself too and how you allow other people or your ex to treat you...

Make your boundries clear and your objective clear... you have had first hand experience of being with someone with a mental health problem,I have had limited experience in my personal life with this but the effects of this can be so hard to deal with...

She needs professional help,and you need to protect your own mental and emotional health.

I see what you are saying. Now should I continue to keep an open line with her to some point? I don't want to be her New buddy, but I also don't want to just disappear. I want her back, but like you said, she has her own problems to deal with, and I know those are beyond me and only something that time will fix. But I would like to try again one day.

Btw thank you so much for your responses.

I would say to not have contact at all,but to voice that you are willing to discuss the matter at a later time,if that is what you want to do.

The problem with this is,no contact empowers you to heal,to learn about yourself and the pit falls that have happened in the relationships,its about becoming a better you,keeping contact hampers no contact,and will not be an effective tool for you.

I am loathe to put a time limit on no contact,only you know the situation best as you are living it... I can only offer you what I know worked for me.

There are stickies at the top of the relationship thread,there are golden nuggets of advice in there,perhaps you will read them and get greater insight into your situation.

Thanks again. You really have given me some things to think about that I wasn't considering before.