Hello, this is my first post ever, so I'm pretty new to this, and I've read a lot of other peoples how to get your girlfriend back and stuff but, some of the answer related to me and some really didn't.

Okay so, this is my story summed up.

I started dating my ex girlfriend may 16, she broke up with me about a month and a half ago, we both loved each other with all of our hearts, I would die for her and do anything for her. Whenever we would hangout we would be so happy, no matter what we did, it felt like everything else around us would just disappear. We would hangout with other friends too, and we'd always have a great time. Now, this is the problem. Before you say, oh this guys a huge , hear me out. My girlfriend would go to some parties alone, without me, and she went to a bush party last summer, and a bunch of her friends told me she cheated on me, I was so completely devastated, I had no idea what to do. I tried to talk to my friend about it but he didn't know what to do, it didn't matter when I heard that because I couldn't believe it. They told me she cheated on me with her ex boyfriend. I still didn't believe it, I didn't hear from her that night and I was so upset, I was so angry at the same time. I didn't know what to do, and the stupidest idea popped into my head, what if I got back at her and made her jealous? The same night that she cheated on me I thought I would see how it would make her feel (it was so completely immature and it's the one thing I regret so much, it's disgusting and I would never do something so immature and disrespectful to her again, or anyone) So I went onto a website, and found this girl, and she flashed me, I didn't do anything, I didn't know what to do, I asked her to, I wish I ing didn't, I wish I didn't do that and I wish I could take it back so badly. I thought I would cover it up because I didn't want her to know I did something that horrible, I love her with all my heart and the next morning I immediately knew I made a huge mistake, and she was the one for me, even if she did cheat on me I'd somehow find a way to get over it because she is the biggest sweetheart in the world, and she means everything to me. The next morning I just forgot about it, I've never felt like I've degrated someone so much, and I can't believe I did that to my girlfriend. The next morning I talked to her on the phone and I was extremely upset, she was really confused with what was going on. I asked her if she cheated on me and she said 'oh my ing god no! I would never do that'. Her best friend, also told me that she never did anything, she was with her the whole time and she is a trustable friend, and she's also a good friend of mine. After I was so depressed, I just wanted to tell her, I didn't want to hide what I did to her, but I didn't tell her. Everything just went on normally for the next couple months until I got a text from her saying you've got a lot of explaining to do.

By the way I was 16 years old, when this happened, and she was 15, this happened in the summer of 2008. The next part is from this summer.

Everything was perfect, we couldn't be happier with each other and we would talk on the phone every night, until 7 in the morning and I would go over to her house and hangout with her at 8, it was true love, I've never been so happy in my life. Until one night, when the girl I got to flash me decided that it would be funny if she told me girlfriend what I did. She told my girlfriend what I asked her to do, and my girlfriend believed her. At first I acted stupid like I didn't know what she was talking about, until after I took the blame for it. The girl told my girlfriend that I asked 2 of her friends to flash me too but I didn't, and my girlfriend believed that there were 3 girls. It was only 1. We talked for a very long time, she said she wanted a break but I wouldn't let her, and we kept dating, she told me she could get over it because she loved me so much. Everything went back to normal, we forgot about it, and I never brought it up, she made some jokes occasionally about asian girls because the girl I got to flash me was asian (I have no idea why) but, I just laughed it off and forgot about it, after about 3 weeks it was all forgotten. We went back to living our lives, being happy and loving each other so much. I was still kindof depressed when I was around her, but when I was alone I'd be miserable, I'd just want to see her, or talk to her on the phone because she'd always cheer me up, and put me in the best moods :)

This summer of 2009, My girlfriend would hangout with this guy, to me he was different, I thought he was kindof weird, but he was and interesting person, he's bisexual and him and my girlfriend were really good friends, and I didn't mind I knew they were good friends and he had a girlfriend at the time. They were hanging out at his house one day with 2 other people (my girlfriends best friend and another one of our friends and she told me that he gives really good foot massages, it kindof creeped me out, and I didn't really trust her to be around him, I'm protective of her, but not too protective, but they would still hangout and I'd be okay with it :))

But, this is where we had problems. One of my friends sent me a message on Facebook telling me that my girlfriend needs to keep out of other peoples business, and she needs to back off. I was really confused and I asked her about what was going on, and my girlfriends best friend's girlfriend told me that they were fooling around. I got really pissed off, I couldn't believe she'd do that to me, and I didn't, I wasn't going to let something like this happen to our amazing relationship again. I heard it from my girlfriend that her best friend's girlfriend is a bit of a drama queen and likes to start stupid . So I let it slide, but I was still kind of curious, with what was going on, my girlfriend and her best friend stopped hanging out.

After this though, I was trying to get a picture of us on Facebook onto my phone, so I was trying to take a picture of my computer where the picture was, every time I'd take it there would be black lines on the picture and you couldn't see it, so on the right side of Facebook there's random new pictures of people who post them so I clicked on one of them and tried to take a picture. What I didn't even think of or realize was that the girl was in her bathing suit and I didn't think anything of it, so I went back to the picture I was trying to get onto my phone and it still came up with the black lines, so I just tossed my phone onto my bed and fell asleep because it was about 3 in the morning D:

About 2 days later we were hanging out we were laying on her bed, she fell asleep on me, in my arms. About an hour later we woke up from our nap :) and we were laying on the floor, I picked up her guitar and started playing it, my phone was sitting on the floor and she was just looking through it. She decided to go through my pictures and she seen the one of the girl and her friend, I was friends with the girl I took in the picture but I would NEVER ever think of her in that way, I wouldn't ever think of any other girl at all. When she seen the picture she was really pissed, she handed me my phone and told me to leave, I tried to explain but she wouldn't let me, I didn't know what to do I kept trying to explain and tell her that I didn't do anything, she just kept telling me to leave. I was so upset, I didn't want her to think that I'd do something like that, I never would. I barely even got out of her house and she came running for me. She tried to talk to me but I was already upset, I regret not turning around, and talking to her and coming back to her house. We talked that night and talked. We still wanted to be with each other, I wanted her back so badly. This is where I need some help, some guidance. I stayed up that whole night when she told me it was over, I couldn't stop crying. I didn't know what to do, so I just showed her that I love her and care about her so much, I told her she meant everything to me, that I loved her with all my heart and I would never ever lose feelings for her, and I'd never feel any different, I told her she would always be my sunshine, she always will be. I gave her time to think, I didn't text her for 4 hours and it was the hardest thing to do.

She told me that she still loved me, and she just needed time to think about it, and if she's making the right decision to come back to me or not. I assured her that I would never do something like that again, and I would always be there for her, no matter what.
She asked me to hangout 3 days after she told me that it was over, she asked me to meet her at her work which is just behind my house. She told me the day before that she wanted to see me, so I thought I'd be really sweet and get her her favourite flowers and bring them to her work so I did just that :) She also loves this v-neck long sleeve shirt I have, she calls it my date shirt so I wore that too :). She was really impressed and I was really happy :) we had a really good time :)

We would hangout, just like we would be dating, and we still both had a lot of feelings for each other.

I went to virginia beach on August 28 and got back on September 5th, and while I was gone she changed her Facebook relationship status from it's complicated to single. I was heartbroken, I don't know why she'd do something like that, I thought she was trying to make it work because I still was.

We would talk a lot though, I'd try to talk to her every chance I got, the only problem is I've read everywhere that the secret behind getting your girlfriend to miss you and think about you and want you back is to give her her space, and not text her every day, let her come to you, but I just want to know if anybody's done this from experience, or if anybody knows that this actually works. I don't want any help saying that I need to move on or anything like that, she is the girl for me, I love her with everything I have, she makes me way too happy and makes me feel way too good to ever stop wanting her.
I love her, and I hope to hear some responses, or some opinions on what I should do :)
My friends all tell me that she's going to come back and that I have nothing to worry about, we dated for a year and 2 months, and hopefully longer than that :) I'm not sure but I think a break is maybe what we needed, just for her to have her own time, and for me to think about what I've lost. I've just realized now what I've lost, and how important she is to me, and I will do anything possible to get back into a relationship with her, and maybe if anybodys had experience with lost trust, I know how important trust is if you want to love somebody, and if anybody has any tips on how I could do that, that would also be appreciated :)

I know it's long to read but I'd really appreciate any answers you have,
Thank you so much :)

Give her space.dont contact her for some time.find things to do to keep yourself busy.and don't try to make her come back-that will not work.

So when you came back from virginia, did she tell you directly that she wants a break, or are you just assuming from the status?

When I came back she didn't tell me she wanted a break, she didn't tell me she felt different at all, she just set her status to single, I don't know if it's anything I should worry about or not :(

Dude, let her go, she is riding someone else's saddle. I learned to go out there and test the waters. Yeah it sucks and hurts, but hey, why limit yourself to someone who does not want you? Quit torturing yourself dude.

She does want me though that's the thing, but more than that I want her with all my heart. I don't want to be with another girl, I know she loves me and I love her, we both love each other so much, I just don't know what to do, moving on seems like the worst idea, and I . You don't know how much we mean to each other, she wouldn't cheat on me and I don't know why I believed her friends. I just want her to trust me you know? She's a huge sweetheart and I know she wouldn't do that to me, I just want to know if there's anything I can do to try to win her back? She means a lot to me, and I know I mean a lot to her : ) I'm being a really sweet person to her lately, I don't know what else to do though, any ideas? : )

When i came back she didn't tell me she wanted a break, she didn't tell me she felt different at all, she just set her status to single, i dont know if it's anything i should worry about or not :(

And you haven't talked to her? Talk to her. If (when) she tells you she wants a break, leave her alone. Don't contact her.

No, I do talk to her, we went to Toronto the other day, went to a bunch of little shops, she held my hand, told me she loved me, I bought her coffee, and we had a really good time, I went shopping with her, and when we took the train ride home she was laid on my shoulder, and we talked a lot, about lots of stuff, it was interesting, I just don't know if I should ask her to be my girlfriend or give it some time?
we've been hanging out lately and she usually asks me to hangout and talks to me almost everyday, and if I'm the first to open a conversation she's usually really happy when I text her =]
I told her a while ago when I was giving her space that it was so hard not to talk to her but I would give her the space she needed she told me she doesn't want space, she loves me and she just needs to be able to trust me

The other thing to is, we don't really see each other as ex's, we're just trying to work the relationship out, and we're just going through a rough patch, I just want to know how I could get her to trust me, and love me throughout the relationship, and I want it to be natural, I want her to decide that she wants to come back, and I'm not going to force her into anything, I just want to know what I should do?

Trust takes time, and some trust worthy behavior. I think your in the doghouse, so be on your best behavior.

Okay thanks a lot, I'm trying to make her as happy as I can without nagging on her :) I seen her today and she seemed really happy to see me, she asked if I wanted to come over tonight but I was visiting me grandma, so we're hanging out tomorrow :) hopefully all goes well! I'm not going to rush anything but I'm really excited to see her and I hope she's the same way :)
But thanks a lot for your comment talaniman, I will be :)

Everythings going really good!
She's been really happy and so have I!
Being really happy and not being a mope is really working! Haha :)

We were dating for about a year and a half, and it couldn't have been better. We broke up about a month and a half ago, and I've been missing her like crazy, her friends are telling me she misses me too. But, I've been depressed ever since the breakup, I don't feel like the same person and I just want to be happy again, I love my her with all my heart and I want her back so badly. BUT, her friend told me if she ever wanted me back she wouldn't want to date me again from sympathy. About a month after our breakup I asked her if she wanted to go for coffee with me, just to hangout. She agreed to come with me, I waited all week and was SO excited to go see her, and the night before we were supposed to go she called me and said she didn't feel comfortable enough to see me yet. I'm just really confused, I've asked her other times to hangout and I haven't got a response, or she'll tell me she will hangout but will call me the day before and say we shouldn't. I'm really scared to call her and ask her to hangout, I don't want to face rejection again, although my ex girlfriends best friend told me that she'd talk on the phone if I called her, and she does want to go back out with me, she just doesn't want to date me from sympathy. I'm so rediculously confused, I really really want my girlfriend back, and if this story makes sense to any of you, please comment as to what I should do

You should realise that you re broken up and you can't be friends. You need to stay NC and forget about seeing her.

Stop being needy and desperate...

Its over.

She does not want you,the friend is the go between,and your letting your ex do this to you... how much longer are you going to suffer?

Move on... as much as it hurts,if she really had feelings for you she would not torture you this way...

No contact,and that means the friend too!

NO CONTACT. It's the only way out of this fog of hurt and pain.

For one, getting an ex back through a friend is impossible. As you see that hasn't worked and it just keeps you hoping. Talking to her friend about your girlfriend HAS TO STOP.

Any contact with your ex HAS TO STOP!

That's how you get through the feelings, and over time your healing will help your depression.

Sorry guy, for your loss, but moving beyond this whole situation is your solution to your problem.

You need to move on. She is trying to move on. Stop dragging the girl back. She wants to see you, but she is doing the right thing by sticking to her decision. She doesn't think you guys will work in the long run, so she is staying away from you. Do not walk to her friend about her. Stop all contacts. Leave her alone or you will annoy her and piss her off, not to mention harass her.

For those that have read my post this is kind of like my situation. My ex kept dragging me back in asking me to wait for her despite seeing someone else. It really messed with my head... and still does. Thanks to this forum, friends, and family, I have come to believe that if you are meant to be together, you would be. She is clearly confused and that's not the time for her to make any decisions. You should at least give her space... i.e. no contact. She is also saying she doesn't want to date you out of sympathy. To me, that means she sees you are suffering because of the loss. Also her indecision and changing plans tells me you can't even trust what she is telling her friend because her emotions likely change on a whim. If I were you I would not hold onto the hope that she will come around. Her indecision is simply delaying your progress. You need to move on for yourself and cut her off completely. I know its easier said than done as I am in the NC stage still and its tough.

To answer your question, how do you get back with her, well there is no guarantee. She dumped you. Yep I know, hurts like a titty-twister. At this point you can only do what's best for you and hope that she'll reconsider her decision. You can not control the situation. You can not control her; her actions or her decisions.

A few things you can control and that MAY help you two get back together;

• Quit being so desperate and needy. It's unattractive and kind of creepy. Your EX sees this thus the “I won't date you from sympathy…” You want to be less desperate and needy… get a life my friend. Begin moving on. By moving on I mean stop caring if she talks to you or not. Quit stalking her through her friends. Let go.

• No Contact. Yep… you need to resolve the situation right here, right now. Quit trying to make plans with a girl, your EX, that continues to break them. Take a hint buddy. Deal with the situation and quit floundering around.
• First the EX. Do not initiate contact; no calls, texts, Facebutt, etc… Just stop. Now if your EX contacts you tell her straight up you're moving on. Don't wimp out. You may also consider something along the lines of, “I'm moving on. Our relationship ran its course and I realize it's for the best me. I don't feel that trying to maintain a friendship at this time is wise.” You may even consider throwing in the following, “If you consider dating in the future we'll discuss it at that time depends where I'm at in my life.” That's it, it's done. You have no contact with her until she asks you out on a date and you decide whether it's right for you at that time. She will test your resolve on this with various 'fluff' conversations. You break, you lose.
• Second, deal with her friends. If/when they bring it up again a simple, “Listen, I've tried making plans several times with her and she's broken them each time. There's nothing more to say about this. I would appreciate if you guys could just drop it.” Then refuse to discuss it any more with these so called 'friends'.

What have you accomplished? You are now in control of your emotions, feelings, and how you will deal with the situation. Will this get her back? No one knows. But you will get her respect… that is until you go back to your desperate, needy ways again. Like I said she will more than likely test you. How do you pass… you let it go right on by.

Honestly… your best bet in my opinion is to move on with your life and see what the future brings. Kind of like betting on horse racing… you don't bankroll a bet to win on a nag with a poor record to show.

Good luck.

My ex-girlfriend called me 3 times last night, but I was sleeping. I've actually been thinking about calling her all week, and knowing she called me 3 times it's like oh my god! She beat me to it! Lmao, but in all seriousness, I'm going to call her back tomorrow, and I'm not sure what to say. We were been dating for about a year and a half, we broke up, nothing hard at all, we still have feelings for each other, she's told me that I'm just not sure what to say to her. I'd probably start a conversation, hey whatsup.. and then eventually saying something along the lines of: I've been thinking a lot lately, about you and about us, and guess what? She'll respond what and I'll say I think your really cute and I miss you so much. And then I don't really know what else to say? I'm really trying to get her back, I'd do anything and I'm just trying to get the right words out. Let me know what I should say! :D

Aaren, reread the advice you ve been given in t two previous threads you've posted about this breakup.
You're stuck wanting her back when you should be concentrating on getting over her and getting your life back on track.

Good luck with that. I'm smiling. You feel good, you're all stoked that she called multiple times... yeah. It's going to be good this time right?!

You ever smile or giggle when someone someone trips or does something painful that seems funny but really isn't? Like I said, I'm smiling.