View Full Version : Is it OK to meet with my girlfriend during break if she wants to?
Tapoutking88
Oct 27, 2009, 07:13 PM
Hey what's up guys. Im not real good with relationships but here it goes. I met this girl and right off the first night with her it was great. After that I have spent almost every weekend with her up to now. Now I kind of had a guard up at first. As she was very comfortable around me. Holding hands with me in public everywhere. Telling me how sexy I am. Great sex, not just sex but when you hold sombody after stuff like that lol. She was married a few years back for 7 years. Her husband was a a-hole and still is. She has a 5 year old kid. And he is awesome and just loves my company. Kind of like a father figure towards him and I enjoy it. So about a month ago I let my guard down. We have so much fun together weather her kid is around or not. I spend the weekends are her place fri-sun. We have went to the zoo with her kid all that good stuff. She was very all over me from the starte and it was new to me. But in the last week she has been kind of different like she has wanted to tell me something. Now I know her very very well. There deff is no other guy. Im with her every weekend and her work schedule is tight during the week and she picks up her kid after work. And has to get him ready for bed. So she tells me that on Fri that she is confused and such as she cries telling me. She is scared to get hurt. She did date a guy after she was married. SHe fell in love after 6 months and he cheated on her with a one night stand. I still stayed the weekend went home early on Sunday after we went for a walk. So I thought we worked it out and was going over this weekend. She tells me she thinks she needs a break. That she is afraid of getting attached and isn't ready for that. That I am a great guy and treat her like a queen and she doesn't know what's wrong with her. That she has never been treated that way. Stuff like people are brought into our lives for a reason and if its meant to be it is. Basically she wants to prove to herself not to be scared of getting hurt. So I called her and told her I'm here for her and suppourt her. That anytime if she needs to talk to me or whatever I'm here. She cried and said its going to be hard for her with me not around. So what should I think. I was just going to fall back. And if she IM's me or calls me maybe asnwer. Just give her her space. I understand she has been through a lot. But I have faith. I heard her say she doesn't think its going to be the last time she sees me. I think she wants to make it work just has to prove to herself. She even sent me a pic message of the animal I got her appose to be me laying with her teddy bear lol. Id love to hear thoughts.
Tapoutking88
Oct 27, 2009, 07:23 PM
Sorry I just realized all the words spelled wrong lol. But wanted to add I'm not so much confused. Im more want to make this work. I really care about her and think our future can be bright. I think she is scared because of her past.
CanIBuyAClue
Oct 27, 2009, 08:27 PM
I would say that you have to give her what she's asked for, and that is a break or time apart. Anything you try to do, even if it is great stuff will not help your cause. Nobody else but her can figure this out. As I'm sure that others will mention, treat a "break" as a break up and start focusing on yourself.
I will say, that I find the line of "That i am a great guy and treat her like a queen and she dosent know whats wrong with her. That she has never been treated that way. Stuff like people are brought into our lives for a reason and if its meant to be it is." Is total bogus. I mean, come on... when I meet a great girl and everything is going awesome, I think she is amazing / spectacular / everything I want.. why on earth would I want to take a break or give that up? That's just my two cents on the matter though.
talaniman
Oct 27, 2009, 08:38 PM
You can only give her what she asked for but don't hold your breath waiting and hoping, do your thing, it may be a while, and long while. I would listen to the "your fantastic" stuff because that obviously wasn't enough for her to take a risk on. That a fact, look no deeper than the facts, not the fluff.
Tapoutking88
Oct 28, 2009, 04:16 AM
Well I agree with you all. But what if she contacts me even over a instant message or text message saying hi what are you up to. Should I answer? I mean I don't want to be mean. Im guessing the fact of her just not seeing me in person is going to drive her nuts. Which she has mentioned. I was thinking its OK if she contacts me. Just keep the conversation to a minimal.
CanIBuyAClue
Oct 28, 2009, 01:13 PM
Why people ASK FOR A BREAK and then continue to contact you I will never understand. I would just say politely that you asked for space and I am trying to give it to you. Sounds like she's trying to eat her cake and have it too... by she is asking for space, but then still contacting you.
Tapoutking88
Nov 3, 2009, 09:43 PM
Ok so I posted before I was with my GF for 3 months and it was going way to fast. It was great everything about it but spending every weekend together was too much. She dropped her guard frist and I thought about the break thing. But I ended up dropping mine. She ended up saying she needs a break which I understood. She has a very busy schedule having a 6 year old. He adores me and I think it scared her being divorced I could end up hurting him too if I'm around him too much and not there one day. So I have kept contact to a minimum giving her space to do her mom things after she gets home from work. And recently I really wanted to test her and not contact her all day. She use to always say goodnight to me every night. I told her 2 weeks ago we should take it slower and its ridiculous for her to sit home alone on a Friday. Come out to my friends bar cause she loves the wings there lol. So that was 2 weeks ago. She told me today she is pondering about coming this Friday she isn't sure cause she thinks she is getting the flu since halloween. I think I gave it to her lol. But anyway. She texted me tonight saying just want to text you goodnight that she fell asleep and woke up and going back to bed. I really really wanted to not text her back. But I kept it simple one word goodnight. I couldn't help myself lol GRRRRRRR. It seems like it was a attempt she misses me and wanders what I'm up to. Now I understand females want what they can't have. So will it hurt my chance of getting back with her if she comes to eat some wings "NO DRINKING" for 2 hours. Im not going to be all kissy and hug her like before. I think it can't hurt if she sees I'm doing good. OR should I tell her don't come? Just to give you a idea I know this girl well she doesn't have me on the back burner. She is 37 I am 28. I know her life its work then take care of her kid till 8 then she's in bed by 10 M-F. Ive brought some much excitement into her life this last 3 months. I didn't think it would be serious at first but I fell for her. I will tell you she is quite the hot stuff lol. But when I first met her she was so insecure about herself. You can tell she has dated s in the past as well as being divorced to a dead beat. WHen we talked about the break as she sobbed on my shoulder nobody has ever treated her this good. She just has to prove to herself to not be scared of getting hurt & of not being alone forever. I don't know if she is scared that its so good now and I'm younger that I will cheat or leave her. Cause the one night she asked me in a real sad face who is michelle M from my IM. And she is a childhoold friend like a sister. So basically Is it OK I see her for a few hours this Friday. And was it wrong for me texting her back goodnight
Tapoutking88
Nov 3, 2009, 09:45 PM
If that whole halloween flu thing didn't make sense. I was with her 3 weeks ago and I've had the flu symptoms all month lol. I seriously had no voice for a week and a half and I was kissing her. Just wanted to clear that up.
Tapoutking88
Nov 3, 2009, 09:55 PM
One more quick note. When she said she needed a break. I think she meant more on the line of seeing each other for a little bit. So she can spend more time with her 6 year old. I swear she is so scared of me huring not only her but him. Being he loves me to death I almost feel like his dad lol. I can only take so much icarly and spongebob laying with him lol. So in my mind I think its OK to see her for a bit. I figure if she wants to see me she wants to see me. Im letting her make the reach to want to talk and hangout.
paxe
Nov 3, 2009, 10:30 PM
She seems sweet and unsure about yourself and you seem like a good guy. It does seem that both of you wants to stay together, so the only advice I would give is communication. Talk to her, tell her you won't hurt her, comfort her.
Tapoutking88
Nov 3, 2009, 10:42 PM
Yea its weird cause I read all these other posts on here saying don't talk to her!! Or Don't answer her back. I just want to do the right thing. I agreed with her about the break at first kind of. I just let her know it was out of nowhere. But I really don't want to mess this up. I almost wrote her a email using the counter type tips. Saying you are right good luck but it just doesn't seem like the right move on her. Don't get me wrong I want to give her space. But I just don't want to screw with her head. She isn't a 25 year old club scene party animal who likes to mess with guys heads. She is a girl who is very beautiful & just hasn't lived life the right way the last year or so till she has hung out with me. I can tell she is sensitive. The first time we went out on the town I told her how beautiful and sexy she looked and she almost cried. Saying nobody has ever really said that too her. I just don't want to mess it up. I just want to be on her terms.
paxe
Nov 4, 2009, 07:43 AM
Well, from what you are portraying, you don't seem too hurt and she doesn't seem to have made up her mind. It seems she wants to go back with you. Communicate with her and see what happens. If then she really doesn't want you to be part of her life, then leave her there is plenty of fish in the sea.
I wish
Nov 4, 2009, 08:01 AM
Please keep all questions regarding the same issue in the same thread so that we can follow your story.
Talking to her while you're still on a break will only make you over-analyze everything she does and says.
Why don't you leave each other alone until she sorts out her feelings. Do your own thing and let her make up her mind before seeing you again. Otherwise, you're just torturing yourself by seeing her.