View Full Version : My ex broke up with me,why am I the one confused
lady_j32
Oct 29, 2009, 06:45 PM
My ex of almost 3 yrs. Broke up with me recently.He said it was because of my accusations and the drawing point was when I called him the morning of his b-day to fuss and forgot to tell him happy B-day.. I know it's awful.. It's been a month but the deal is we have a child together so NC is kind of hard at times.the issue is he still wants to pay bills here and that means he can keep a key to my place also this is because he picks our daughter up for daycare some mornings or drops her off.. To make this story short he was confused he still would come over and stay during the day and leave at night and he even stayed over a couple of times until I had a talk with him and told him he needs to tell me what he wants and he said.. when he told me it was over that's what he meant,but we always end up hanging around each other so I let him know there's no in between,so he decided it was over.. :e said he can't get over what happened.. the thing is when he calls I ignore him and he has a fit.I'm confused,why won't he leave me alone and stop texting and trying to hold conversations with me.. Sorry for the long drawn out application..
jaime90
Oct 29, 2009, 06:52 PM
He's probably reluctant to leave, rightly so, you guys have a child, and you were together for 3 years. He's keeping tabs on you, which doesn't surprise me either.
It's good that you asked him straight up if he wanted to stay or leave, to avoid any confusion. I would give him one more chance (after all, when he calls you, he could be apologizing and wanting to make things right, while you're ignoring him... you never know) I would speak to him again, ask him if he will please leave you alone. While you have this conversation make sure you are communicating clearly. Repeat back to him what you "hear" him say because what you "hear" him say could be not what he intended to say at all. Make sure there is no confusion, and that things are set in stone this time so you can either get together and move on from this fight, or you can leave and live your separate lives... there's no use sitting on the fence, just get it over with.
lady_j32
Oct 29, 2009, 07:24 PM
True.. he told me he tries to get over it but he can't,I honestly don't believe he really wants too.. I hung up on him twice today and never called back and each time he contacted me being nice,I aware that he is confused.. I have also worked on my attitude and the reasons he told me that led to the breakup,but I won't be 2nd to his confused mind.. Like I told him if he is through let me move on with my life,but it seems like he doesn't know what he wants to do.. A typical "ibra male he is wishy washy he says one min he's happy with us still being around eachother and the next he says heaks driving in silence and thinking and becomes mad so he distance hiself..he said "maybe I need to stop riding in silence" that right there says confusion.. how do I get him to make a choice and stick to it without being wishy washy..
talaniman
Oct 29, 2009, 07:37 PM
By changing your locks, and being very clear as to why, Because he is confused and unclear doesn't mean you should be. Confine things to the subject of your child only, and no more hanging out, at your house.
asking
Oct 29, 2009, 07:43 PM
What had you accused him of? You said he broke up with you because of your "accusations." What were they?
lady_j32
Oct 29, 2009, 08:02 PM
I would accuse him of messing around not believing he had to work crazy hrs.. he works for an oil company at the refinary there hrs are crazy.. I brought past relationship problems into ours.. but I stopped accusing and realizing my faults and praying about them.. he says we get along better apart.. truth is right now I don't want to be his friend.. But I told him it is not fare to confuse me.. its crazy he still will make plans for us to see plays or concerts and this confuses the hell out of me and when were out he acts as if we r together.. It's only been 3 days since I told him a choice needs to be made if we r through or if he wants to work it out.. I asked is it over, he said I suppose and I ran with that..
jaime90
Oct 30, 2009, 09:36 AM
Just try to communcate with him. Like I said, there's no use sitting on the fence. Trying to ignore him, and shutting him out, won't shut him up, or deter him from keeping an eye on you ( if he is persistent about watching out for you like this and calling you, etc. Then changing your locks and your phone number, will not stop him)- you have resolve it or it will eat away at you.