I'm 21 years old. Every few weeks, I'll steal stuff from stores such as Barnes and Noble or Target. I've almost gotten caught twice, and I'm worried I will get caught eventually and face charges.
I don't think I have a serious problem, I don't do it for a high, I don't do it every time I"m in a store, but when I want something and don't have the money for it, I'll usually slip it into my purse, and it's so easy that it feels like free stuff.

I almost got caught at Walmart, I set the alarm off walking out, but I had bought something, and the lady never checked my purse, she just let me go.
And at Barnes and Noble the alarm went off once but I just kept walking out and nobody seemed to notice. Do you think they will look back at cameras and see me stealing and then catch me if I go back to the store? I've avoided going to the Walmart because the woman who stopped me wrote down my transaction number and the time because I set off the alarm, so I figure if they looked back at cameras they would see me stealing and arrest me if I went back there.
Do stores like Target randomly watch their cameras often?

How do I stop doing this? Should I avoid going to stores alone? I really don't want to do this anymore, it's just so easy and free.
I really need to stop, the idea of getting caught and having this on my record terrifies me.

Any tips, other than "just stop it". Maybe from others who have dealt with this in their own lives?
Thanks.

You keep saying it's free, but it isn't.

Because of you prices go up and people like me, that actually pay for their items, have to pay those prices.


I don't think I have a serious problem

You do have a serious problem, but not one that we can help you with. The first step is wanting to stop, which is where you're at, the second step sadly is getting help, which is what you don't want to hear.

It sounds like you have an addiction. Do you use drugs? Do you drink heavily? Sometimes it's the rush, or excitement of stealing that you are looking for. It's not really about the merchandise is it? Well, you really need to get help. You realize now that you have a problem, and that's good.

So, how to stop? You get into a 12 step program like Alcoholics Anonymous. There is a group, Here it is: http://www.shopliftersanonymous.com/
It is shoplifter's anonymous. It's "kin" to AA, and will help you. You will have meetings, with people who will, like you, stay anonymous.It's free and worldwide. There should be a meeting near you.

You should go now before you get arrested.

Now that you know you have a problem, and want to stop, you should commit yourself to doing the right thing. Free yourself of this addiction.

Good luck to you.

Haha, a pet expert.

I have a ferret that steals stuff too. It's pretty bad I think he has a problem.. Could you help me out ?

Ashriel disagrees: not helpful. I'm totally open to getting help. But I was looking more for advice, rather than admonishment. Stick to your expertise.

Time to read the rules. My post was opinion. It's against the rules to give a reddie for an opinion.

I gave you advice, if you don't like it then don't follow it, that's up to you.

As for my expertise, do you really think that people are limited to only one area of expertise? Don't let the title fool you, I'm not limited to pet knowledge.

Haha, a pet expert.

I have a ferret that steals stuff too. It's pretty bad I think he has a problem.. Could you help me out ?

Emyth, if you don't have anything to add to this thread then please refrain from posting. This is not a chat site, this is a question and answer site.

If you need help with your ferret then post your question in the pet forum, don't hijack someone's thread. If you're just joking then your post is not appropriate for this site.

Time to read the rules kids.

it's just so easy and free.

It's not free... I have to pay for it. Because of people like you stores have to raise their prices and those price increases come out of my pocket and make it hard for me to put food on the table for my family and my two growing children.

How do you stop? Next time you put something in your purse look over at the young mother who has had to clip coupons to feed her baby.

Alty might be a pet expert but she clearly knows stealing is wrong.

As far as the original post you do have a problem and you do need to seek help. If it wasn't a high or some thrill then you would be smart enough to stop. Your worried about being caught and arrested. Well so be it. Maybe the shame from your name being put in the papers and your friends and family finding out will stop you.

Do you think your job or friends would ever trust you if you were caught? How about your family? Do you want to be labeled a thief? I believe you do, unless you make the choice for help.

You did NOT give me advice, you gave me your opinion on my situation stating that I am the cause of the increase of prices for things in stores. Not helpful.
The one part of your post the might be considered advice is when you said I need to get help. However that isn't really advice, because you gave me no actual where, why, how, when on the whole "get help" thing.

And your "advice" giving definitely shows that we are all limited to certain areas of expertise. Sorry to be blunt, but perhaps think before posting opinions rather than advice.

I always find it amusing when people come here for advice and then get angry when they're told the truth.

You steal, you're a thief, so yes, you are responsible for the increase in prices because the store has to recoup their losses somehow. You may not want to hear it, but that doesn't make it any less true.

As for where you can get help, start with a psychologist or psychiatrist, find out why you feel the need to steal. You say you don't do it for a high, so obviously there's another reason why. Only you know that reason.

Your comment about my advice, well, that's your opinion. My reputation here speaks for itself, so be as blunt as you want. I'm going to do what you should do which is ignore your opinion.

Good luck.

This site has many members. You have insulted one that is highly respected by giving her a "reddie" incorrectly. You will not get the help you are asking for by telling people how to answer your questions. If you feel that an answer is not helping you, just disregard it.

I suggest you re-read the site rules.

Basically when you throw a question out there, you get what you get.

The last thing you want to do is to get everyone angry here. Trust me, I know. I did it too. I didn't know exactly how the "agree/disagree" system worked.

If you want help, try to be more understanding. The reputation system is based on correct/incorrect answers. Altenweg's response was not factually incorrect. Prices DO in fact go up to offset shoplifting.

Now, did you look at the site I provided?

I looked over the other questions that you have asked. I think you are crying out for attention and help in a not very productive way at the moment.

You need to understand that addiction is not something that you have to do every time you go the store. Some drunks go months between drinks. One of the things that makes them an alcoholic is that when their trigger is set off they have to have that drink. For you it is shoplifting when you 'don't have the cash'.

Your defensiveness and proclamation that you don't have a problem are at odds with your wanting help. NO ONE can help you until you are open to wanting that help. Until you hit rock bottom, which in your case might be an arrest, you will probably only give lip service to wanting to stop.

You can take measures to slow yourself down. Don't go shopping alone or with anyone who also steals. Don't carry a purse especially not a large one. Be honest with yourself about why and when youshoplift or get the urge. Educate yourself on the consequences of shoplifting to you, the store, and other customers.

I sincerely hope you get yourself under control and find the help you need before you end up in jail.

Emyth, if you don't have anything to add to this thread then please refrain from posting. This is not a chat site, this is a question and answer site.

If you need help with your ferret then post your question in the pet forum, don't hijack someone's thread. If you're just joking then your post is not appropriate for this site.

Time to read the rules kids.

My contribution to this thread was in mere attempt to lighten-up the responses. This isn't a high-jacking, I was just merely amused that a Pet Expert was crucifying some one who seems harmless.

I'm a pretty laid back guy, and very understanding to the plight of others. Perhaps OP has a problem but shouldn't be slammed for it. I've actually read some threads about Drug addicts stealing to support their habit who've gotten more support than OP. Give the girl some credit, she's trying; and perhaps with positive feed back and advice this labeled problem will resolve.

As far as babies not being fed because of 'people like her' that's just way off base. Employees as well as customers who steal retail such as books contribute for an estimated 1% of yearly 'annual loss' this wouldn't be enough to cause retail prices to inflate... I understand it's easy to blame people, especially when it's for something we don't understand, but witch hunts are a dying tradition... try to move forward. Food and hygienics are a different market than books and recreational retail.


Also not meaning to bash but, a high reputation doesn't give anyone the right to brand some one or start trolling I believe that's in the rules too. And I'm actually surprised to see this thread continuing in that direction.

I do have to point this out.

Ashriel, in this thread;

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/christianity/perhaps-sex-before-marriage-isnt-issue-394217.html

You claim to be a Christian, in fact you were worried about having premarital sex because you felt it wasn't clear whether it was a sin.

Well Ashriel, stealing is a sin, check out the 10 commandments, it's clear as day.

Maybe that's the insentive you need to quit.

Ashriel, I have only read this question thread and I do not comment on others' faith. I need to comment on your integrity.

You're a thief. That means you're also a liar because you lie to the store people. It looks to me like you're also lying to yourself about the harm your thefts cause to you if not to the general public.

You will be caught. Several times by the statistics I have read. When you get caught enough times you will go to jail and I will pay for your upkeep. Please start being honest with yourself, we don't matter. That's your first step.

My contribution to this thread was in mere attempt to lighten-up the responses. This isn't a high-jacking, I was just merely amused that a Pet Expert was crucifying some one who seems harmless.

I'm a pretty laid back guy, and very understanding to the plight of others. Perhaps OP has a problem but shouldn't be slammed for it. I've actually read some threads about Drug addicts stealing to support their habit who've gotten more support than OP. Give the girl some credit, she's trying; and perhaps with positive feed back and advice this labeled problem will resolve.

As far as babies not being fed because of 'people like her' that's just way off base. Employees as well as customers who steal retail such as books contribute for an estimated 1% of yearly 'annual loss' this wouldn't be enough to cause retail prices to inflate... I understand it's easy to blame people, especially when it's for something we don't understand, but witch hunts are a dying tradition... try to move forward. Food and hygienics are a different market than books and recreational retail.


Also not meaning to bash but, a high reputation doesn't give anyone the right to brand some one or start trolling I believe that's in the rules too. and I'm actually surprised to see this thread continuing in that direction.

That percentage put into dollars...

http://www.backgroundcheckexpress.com/images/Retail%20theft%20costs%20Article.pdf

I spent a lot of years in retail management and I can tell you that even the above figures do not take into consideration other expenses/costs that are passed on to the public because of theft such as; security personal, security equipment; cameras, alert equipment at exits, security tags, etc, working hours devoted to surveillance, time spent in court, and more.

$42.3 Billion dollars in North America and that figure was for 2008.

Stringer

Well I will guess no one is going to like my answer but you want to steal, so you steal, you don't have any problem beyond being selfish and greedy. People who can't help theirself often don't even know they steal till they get home with it.

You steal because you want something you don't have money for.

So yes the real answer is you just stop it, you can stop anytime you want the only real problem is you prefer not to stop

In your first post you said that you want to stop stealing stuff. Well I will tell you that you will stop. In fact you will stop about three times. The first time you will be caught and placed before a judge and he will give you three months jail time. The second time you will be tried before a jury and they will hate to mess up such a you and nice boy's life so they will give you a year in jail, but you will get out in just a couple of months. The third time is the kicker, you will get caught and be tried by a jury that knows your history and you will be given life in prison for being a habitual thief.

And I will say good ridance.

J_9 agrees: But you know better now! Muwahhh... LOVE YA!

Yes, I do girl! Back at you.

J_9 agrees: But you know better now!! Muwahhh....LOVE YA!

Yes, I do girl! Back at ya.

We all made mistakes when we were new. Not me of course, because I'm perfect. :D

Hey! Don't laugh! Stop it! :(

Agreeing/disagreeing: I had never before read the rules about agreeing/disagreeing. I thought it was pretty black and white, like you either agree or disagree with what the person wrote. Lol. So now I have read the rules, and I'm happily properly informed. My bad !

Not going to lie, I feel attacked. It saddens me how everyone's reacted. When a member posts something about how they might have a problem with weed and what to do about it, generally people don't respond with "How could you! You buying weed is enabling the Mexican drug war! You are a murderer!" Other times I post with issues I"m having, I generally haven't been crucified for it, which is nice. But this time, it's like I'm a terrible person, and I generally disagree. I have issues like everyone.

I realize I have a problem that I need to overcome, otherwise I wouldn't have posted this. That should seem obvious enough. Me writing "I don't think I have a problem" was definitely my more wishful thinking side coming out.

I think bringing up my faith is a bit uncalled for. There are many many sins listed in the Bible that each one of us commit every day, and just because it's in the Bible doesn't make it any easier to avoid, or any less available to commit. (gossiping, lying, stealing, jealousy, sexual immorality, etc) We are humans and unfortunately we sin.

I want to thank the people who actually gave me advice, such as "check out this website for help" or "carry a small purse".

Also, I find it a weee bit over the top to say that the reason prices go up, the reason a young mother has to clip coupons, is because people shoplift.
Shoplifting is to prices going up what a penny is to a dollar.

Also, as for all of the other costs that pile up throughout our country because of people stealing and committing crimes, if it weren't for people committing crimes, unfortunately there would be hundreds of thousands of people without jobs.

Just a thought. NO I do not think that people's jobs is a reason at ALL for someone to say it's OK to steal or commit crimes. I just think it's an interesting thought.

We all made mistakes when we were new. Not me of course, because I'm perfect. :D

Hey! Don't laugh! Stop it! :(

I'm for my very first time, disgusted with another human being... wow..

Great accomplishment.

Perhaps to you this will be a blessing in disguise; But you've compelled me to actually close my account and refrain from ever coming back here for advice.

You're quite the impetuous self righteous clown; undoubtedly the product of confused parenting. Maybe one day you'll reflect on this reading and find yourself in a correlation of truth through a series of hopeful misfortune on your behalf.



After recently learning the frame work for profiling people, I'm sure anyone with fancy reputation and the Noble title of ' Pet expert ' will obsessively-compulsively want to reply and have their last word in. I don't plan on checking this thread again I have more important things to do like finish off my college degree; so have at it; you've earned it.

Ashriel, I only brought up your faith because in your other thread you seemed very concerned about living your life according to the bible. Sex before marriage isn't one of the ten commandments, stealing is.

When you posted your original post you said that you didn't think you had a serious problem, now you're saying that was just wishful thinking, well, we don't know what you're thinking, we only know what you write.

Your original post doesn't sound at all remorseful. In fact, your OP sounds more like "I'm afraid to get caught" not "I want to stop because I know it's wrong" and that made me mad. You see there are tons of things I want to do but don't because they're wrong.

Stealing is a big deal. Not only is it illegal but we all pay for it. Yes, it makes me mad because instead of taking things I work hard to put food on the table and provide for my family and then people like you just take what you want and I end up paying for that too. Can't you understand why we're mad about that?

The thing is, this is a touchy subject. You'll get people like me that really do think that a bit of time in jail would be the best thing for you. Then you'll get people that think that's too harsh. The fact is, you're a criminal, like it or not and only you have the power to stop.

I hope you find the help you need.

I'm for my very first time, disgusted with another human being..... wow..

Great accomplishment.

Perhaps to you this will be a blessing in disguise; But you've compelled me to actually close my account and refrain from ever coming back here for advice.

You're quite the impetuous self righteous clown; undoubtedly the product of confused parenting. Maybe one day you'll reflect on this reading and find yourself in a correlation of truth through a series of hopeful misfortune on your behalf.



After recently learning the frame work for profiling people, I'm sure anyone with fancy reputation and the Noble title of ' Pet expert ' will obsessively-compulsively want to reply and have their last word in. I don't plan on checking this thread again I have more important things to do like finish off my college degree; so have at it; you've earned it.

LMAO!

I know you'll read it, just like you couldn't help but post this you won't be able to help but read what I write.

As for the post you quoted, that was meant to lighten the mood. It wasn't hurtful to anyone and was meant as a joke. Unlike your joke which was rude and uncalled for.

Self righteous clown, good one. :p There are people whose opinions matter to me and people whose opinions don't, want to guess what list you're on?

You can't delete your account but you can refrain from participating, so good bye, can't say that I'll miss you.

As for my "title" it's just a title, why are you so afraid of it?

Would you like me to list all the titles that actually matter to me?

Wife
Mother
Daughter

Those are the things that really matter. Of course I'm also a college graduate, but in the long run, in life, that doesn't matter as much as you seem to think it does.

Good bye

I for one think you would look great in big floppy shoes and a red nose alty. LOL ;)

Oops :eek: ::running away::

WOW !

I really truly read every word people post here in response, and I try to see things from their view and understand what I can learn.
But damn, never before have I not been helped in the least as blatantly as this thread. It's like I asked for the recipe of red velvet cake because I want to make one for my gay friend, and then got chewed out because not only do I want to make it for a GAY person but red velvet cake harms EVERYONE AROUND YOU !

Hard analogy to understand... but the point stands.

Jail time?? I've stolen like 15 books and $30 worth of makeup. TOTAL. Over an 8 month period. I am a criminal in some very small sense, (because hell, we're all criminals if you've ever sped on the highway) and I know that. I know I shouldn't steal.
Thanks everyone for repeating it over... and over... and over.
Thanks also for getting mad about it. That's awesome.

Also... why should it matter why I want to stop? Isn't what matters the fact that I know it's wrong and I want to stop? Period?

I'm most likely going to go find another source of information and advice. Based on the response, this was so not the proper place to go. I have never felt more judged and less helped.

I'm officially done with the thread. Good luck to all of you. Thanks to the few who gave a tidbit of advice.

WOW !

I really truly read every word people post here in response, and I try to see things from their view and understand what I can learn.
But damn, never before have I not been helped in the least as blatantly as this thread. It's like I asked for the recipe of red velvet cake because I want to make one for my gay friend, and then got chewed out because not only do I want to make it for a GAY person but red velvet cake harms EVERYONE AROUND YOU !

Hard analogy to understand....but the point stands.

Jail time??! I've stolen like 15 books and $30 worth of makeup. TOTAL. Over an 8 month period. I am a criminal in some very small sense, (because hell, we're all criminals if you've ever sped on the highway) and I know that. I know I shouldn't steal.
Thanks everyone for repeating it over...and over...and over.
Thanks also for getting mad about it. That's awesome.

also....why should it matter why I want to stop? isn't what matters the fact that I know it's wrong and I want to stop? Period?

I'm most likely going to go find another source of information and advice. Based on the response, this was so not the proper place to go. I have never felt more judged and less helped.

I'm officially done with the thread. Good luck to all of you. Thanks to the few who gave a tidbit of advice.

I offered you genuine advice, because you have a genuine problem. You're welcome for my "tidbit", however, this is as weak as a thanks can get.

If you don't have an SA chapter in your area, you still can get help. Don't stop looking.

I wish you luck.

I'm for my very first time, disgusted with another human being..... wow..

Great accomplishment.

Perhaps to you this will be a blessing in disguise; But you've compelled me to actually close my account and refrain from ever coming back here for advice.

You're quite the impetuous self righteous clown; undoubtedly the product of confused parenting. Maybe one day you'll reflect on this reading and find yourself in a correlation of truth through a series of hopeful misfortune on your behalf.



After recently learning the frame work for profiling people, I'm sure anyone with fancy reputation and the Noble title of ' Pet expert ' will obsessively-compulsively want to reply and have their last word in. I don't plan on checking this thread again I have more important things to do like finish off my college degree; so have at it; you've earned it.

WOW, this is the first time you've been disgusted with another human being? You must have lead a very short, sheltered, life.

You've offered NO HELP WHATSOEVER here.

You finish your education. Ride your high horse to your ten dollar word class. Oh, don't forget your ferret, you might need a friend. You've earned it.

And I'm sure you've read this, and it's chapping your butt that you can't reply.

Jail time??! I've stolen like 15 books and $30 worth of makeup. TOTAL. Over an 8 month period. I am a criminal in some very small sense, (because hell, we're all criminals if you've ever sped on the highway) and I know that. I know I shouldn't steal.
Thanks everyone for repeating it over...and over...and over.
Thanks also for getting mad about it. That's awesome.

also....why should it matter why I want to stop? isn't what matters the fact that I know it's wrong and I want to stop? Period?


Ashriel, on the off chance that you do continue to read this, stores are not treating shoplifting like a small part of doing business anymore.

15 books at an average of $7 each is $105. Depending on the type of book and it's price the amount is probably much higher. Add the $30 for make-up and the total is now $130 plus any other 'small' items that you didn't think amounted to anything. I would hazard a guess that your total is closer to $200. That doesn't seem like much until you think about that being how it starts for most people who get caught with jewelry and electronics or other higher ticket items.

Part of the reason you are getting defensive and upset is because you know that they are right. That is why you asked about this. It wouldn't have mattered if the first answer was nothing but tips and hand-holding. You would have found some way to be upset about it. Human nature and self-induced guilt cause that reaction.

Why you want to stop matters because if you try to stop without truly understanding and accepting that you have a problem, you won't be successful. Understand that this is going to affect your behavior for the rest of your life.

You want the same 'compassion' as a drug addict, but you don't think you are addicted. Compassion is generally more easily given to those who really can't help themselves. You haven't yet admitted that you don't have control. Instead, you try to make light of it and say it isn't much. 'I don't I have a problem'. 'I am not a big part of the problem'. Like those books, petty shoplifting adds up quickly especially when added security measures and legal costs are added in.

You don't think you have a problem, but you need help. That is a paradox that we can't help you with. It is something that you have to work out in your own mind.

I wish you luck with this and your other concerns.

if it weren't for people committing crimes, unfortunately there would be hundreds of thousands of people without jobs. Hello A:

I see now what a sacrifice you make for the public good... Altruistic shoplifting DOES keep people employed. You are to be commended for doing that. Can you imagine how many police officers would be working at Wal Mart if it weren't for you?? Think about how many doughnut shops would go bust if you went straight...

I think you're doing the country a great service. There should be more like you.

excon

You say you want to stop but you post like you don't think you're doing anything wrong. Stealing isn't a "little bit" wrong; you can't be a "little bit" pregnant; and, despite The Princess Bride, there isn't a "mostly dead."

Until you realize this you will maintain your state of denial and be unable to control this impulse until it's controlled for you by the state.

I went through a short spate of shop stealing when I was younger (much, much younger - and I got caught). But what I'm trying to recall now is how I felt when I was doing it.

From memory, it was sense of boredom and disconnectedness with the world. A sort of 'I'm feeling entitled', feeling, where I didn't associate my actions with any real consequences. I sort of drifted into shops, took things and drifted out.

So, I'm wondering if you need to get busy. Do some real things with your life so that shopping isn't a leisure activity. Play sport, go to the gym, bushwalk, start a band - whatever. Get involved with people that you like and do things with them. Stay out of shops unless you really need something.

Get involved with life and people. The important things. Stick at it. Eventually stealing will become something that you'll look back on and wonder how you could have been so stupid.

I recall some studies that were done on why people shoplift, which is called 'shrinkage' by the stores (victim). All were 'justifications' and not the reason though.

"I once purchased something there and it didn't work."

"They were rude to me once."

"They're a large company, they won't miss it at all."

"When I tried to return something, they wouldn't take it back."

"I needed it, and they had it."

"They make so much money, I deserve this."

There were more, but at the moment I can't recall...

Stringer