First I am in the state of North Carolina. My Ex has visitation rights of every other weekend and some holiday visits. He has not exercised his visitation rights for over 7years. There has been no contact of any kind for over 7 years. But he does pay child support through court order and delivered through the state. Last year my 11 year old daughter wanted to change her last name to my husbands last name. We went through the courts and her name change was granted because my ex never responded to the legal action. I have not moved or changed home phone number. He has always had the option to get ahold of us at any point. Now after all this time he has messaged my daughter on Facebook wanting contact with her instead of contacting me. This was very upsetting to her. Contact would be fine with me as I feel children need to know both parents, however, my daughter does not want contact right now. She likes the way her life is and doesn't feel the need to have her questions answered right now but wants the option of being able to get in touch with him when she is ready. My question is under these curcumstances if he was to pursue his legal visitation by showing up at the door, do I have to force her to go even though she does not know him and this would be overnight? Or can I legally request that the first few visits be in a mutal place setting until she feels more comfortable? Once again, understand that I do not want to deny his visitation, but also do not want my daughter to feel pressured into visitation.

At this point you don't until you go to court and ask a judge. Right now as it stands there are already court orders in place. You could be held in contempt and maybe face jail time.