My Poem

I want to feeel, I want to know something is there
I want to feel touch, I want to feel love, I want to feel more
Nothing seems enough, nothing is enough
Is love enough?
I am not sure.
A void, yet small, appears in pain
Pain so great, nothing else matters
To disappear seems appealing, the nothingness, no expectation
The blackness of invisibility.
Friends are scarce, boyfriend… its not what you expect
Things are moving quickly
A bird to jump from the nest with no wings
Wings once guided by a greater being, a greater belief
That void, that passion, that other side of life.
Yet cloud darkens it,
Cloud takes over
The normality becomes more real
How can you hold onto something that's so hard to hold onto
When your whole world has been created in normality
Though choice
Decicions made…almost unforgivable.
Sinfulness blackening the soul, the mind, the life. The music, the friends, the thoughts, the decisions.
I want to change, I want to be young
I want to go back to being white, pure, clean
How is that possible when I know I'm going to make these mistakes again… through decisions.
I can't let go
I cant
I want to
More than anything
But then I don't
More than anything
Then there is this pain… this physical pain… that's holding my life
Is it a result of my sin?
Can I help thinking this way?
Its more than I deserve right?
Painful as it may be
I know one person who can give me that relief
And he is very far away from me right now
Would he even listen?
I know he would… would I have the confidence to ask?
When I feel so black inside?
I don't feel able to talk to him.
Worthy
I miss you Jesus :(

I'm sure others who are more knowledgeable will come along. In the meantime, my degree is in English Lit. I don't think this is a poem.

I think you could turn it into a poem or song lyrices, for that matter, but at the moment I do not read it as a poem.