:(
He broke up with me September 11th 2009. I gave him his space and saw him 3 weeks later shortly and he said hi. Then I saw him 1 weeks later in passing. Then 2 weeks later he sent me a birthday card wishing me a happy birthday and he said he wished me well. I was hurt because we had been together 6 months and I thought he loved me like he always said he did and now after 6 weeks he is sending me a birthday card as if nothing. I thought he was happy with me. I did everything I could for him and was supportive and gave him space and I was constantly improving my charcter, becoming a better person because I want to be one. And he said he loved me sooo much and would never leave me... and... he did. I am so confuzed how one week he could not be happier with me and then one "busy" week changed his feelings. "career", I'm too good for him, its not you its me were all said when he broke you with me. Not the real reasons, just exuses. I listened silently and accepted it. I asked if it was something I did or siad and he said no, he just is too selfish to think about anything but his career. I handled the breakup responsibly, no petty revenge or fighting, I let him be because I loved him, I still do. To this day, I ams struggling because he does not care, I have heard of his flirtings with other girls despite his career reasons and I have proof that he has flirted and tried to pursue two girls on Facebook who he said were "extremely beautiful and that he was interesed in one of the in particular. how hurtful. i was so hurt to witness this blatant dishonesty and have to take it like a woman and swallow it down.
i thanked riley for the bday card a few days later and he responded 2 ays later saying he only wanted to make my bday special and wanted me to be happy. i decided to be assertive instead of phoney for once, i said honesty and sincerity are things value most. as much as i appreciate your card and concern, i would appreciate it if you would not pretend to care. I respect you and only wish the best for you.
then he responds back that he cares and always will despite what happened.
is that bs or what? am i so crazy that he is 100% innocent. I shared my fault when he broke up with me, i told him i have shortcomings but i am working on them and he said that was not the problem so it is not that. so he is sooo "nice" and I am crazy? I feel as if he deiberately shoving it in my face that is the nicest guy on earth. He did absolutely nothing wrong. At all. I am not blamin him but what did I do to deserve his lack of sensitivity and insincerity. I know he is playing the field yet he says he cares. He says he cares even though he left me and had not spoken to me for a long time. I love him and I want to tell him something that is not rude, only honest, fair, and sincere. I wish we could work out our problems and stuff but he has dumped me finding better models right away while I am trying to move on but cant? Help me please, somebody. I only hope there is something I can do.

There is something you can do...

NO CONTACT... at all,what so ever.. that includes Facebook,emails,friends etc.

So far it seems you have handled the breakup with your dignity in tact,and yourself respect still in one piece..

But,you are still letting him hurt you,by allowing him into your life..

Move on and away from him.

You realise his breakup words were just that,empty excuses,for what he really wanted,and that was out of the relationship.

No contact will help you recover from the hurt.

If you read the stickies in the relationship thread, you will get great insight and advice on how other people with very similar stories have coped and moved on to bigger and better things.

there is something you can do...

NO CONTACT...at all,what so ever..that includes facebook,emails,friends etc.

so far it seems you have handled the breakup with your dignity in tact,and your self respect still in one piece..

but,you are still letting him hurt you,by allowing him into your life..

move on and away from him.

you realise his breakup words were just that,empty excuses,for what he really wanted,and that was out of the relationship.

no contact will help you recover from the hurt.

if you read the stickies in the relationship thread, you will get great insight and advice on how other people with very similar stories have coped and moved on to bigger and better things.

I understand, but I did not ask to see him nor did I ask for him to send me a birthday card. Oh and we do not have eachothers facebooks at all. I removed him the day after we broke up. But I have access to his myspace which has no privacy. Anwho, I understand no contact, but is it not being assertive if I let him walk away. Didn't I mean something? He does not want to make this work?

There is being assertive then there is chasing someone who doesn't want to be with you!

I think whatever his reasons for breaking up are doesn't really matter here, he just wanted out. It could be for him the relationship run its course and he wanted out, of course it doesn't mean for you it had but there isn't anything you can do about it.

Its great so far the way you have dealt with the break now you have to continue it, try to concentrate on getting over him instead of how to make it work, it won't work, he wanted out!

The thing is erika, he does not want to be with you.

He does not want things to work out.

I don't know his reasoning for sending the card, but I would assume,had he wanted to get the relationship back on track,he would have said or done something by now.

Maybe he just wants to keep you on the back burner so to speak?

In the end its up to you,but from what you say in your post,the relationship is over,he seems to have accepted it and moved on.

So tell me why your really chasing a guy who dumps you?

He cares, but not enough to take you back. That's what his actions say, but I guess what you want is a flowery, emotional, heartfelt speech, or some crying over losing you, to make you feel better. It ain't going to happen, and you need to get over it, by not expecting it.

You have held that idea long enough.

You need to tell him to never send any more cards and never to contact you and then move on with your life.

Your deserve so much better than him. You don't have to change for a guy that really loves you. A guy that loves you will love you just as you are!

YOUR DON'T HAVE THE PROBLEM - HE DOES! You need to concentrate on building your self-confidence. YOU DESERVE MORE!

Mr. Right will show up someday, and you won't have to make any promises to him that you'll change or do anything abnormal!