Hello everyone,

It's been a while since I posted on here. It has now been almost a year and a half since I broke up with my ex boyfriend and I have finally been able to let go. I am so thankful to everybody on here that helped me get through that awful time.

I now have another dilemma! I have recently moved away from home town to attend university and now live with four other students I didn't previously know. My dilemma is that me getting on extremely well with one of the guys ha turned turned into a mutual infatuation. We have only known each other for two months and know that it is to soon to get into a relationship, we have decided to proceed very slowly and carefully realising pur relationship could end up not affecting just the two of us but other people in the house, and it would be difficult, but I think we may have a chance for something really special.

I wanted people's opinions on whether they think that what we are doing could work, or whether we should just cut it off now because living together is too much of a hurdle to overcome?

Thank you.

Don't create problems that don't exist. Focus on building a stronger relationship, enjoying your time together and things will fall into place. Let things flow naturally.

However, if you feel that you have concenrs or doubts along the way, make sure you clear the air, there's no sense in bottling things up. But this concept applies to any relationship.

Being in such proximity to each other under those conditions, is dangerous. You are wise to go slow, and wait and see, without commitment, or sex, whats really going on, and that takes time.

It will be extremely hard to keep your life balanced also, as seeing each other everyday, will tend to pull you together, and make for some very uncomfortable, thoughts, and actions, and may throw off the natural dynamics of the whole situations, regarding others. (your right about that)

Is this a house, or apartment, and how many bedrooms?

How many guys? How many girls?

Are you all the same age, and what ages are you?

You know after the lust, and attraction wear off, things will change dramatically.

Sorry to rain on your parade, but I think you better be careful, and give this some thought. I hope you answer my questions.

Having to spread the rep-you re making all the points here.

Thanks for your opinions. There are five of us living in the house. Three, girls too guys. Three of us, including the guy in question, turn 19 in the next few months, the rest next year.

We don't see each other as often as you might think. Our campus' are a half an hour driving distance away and we are in at completely different times.

We aren't having sex, and although there is obviously a physical attraction, it's his personality that's really got me.

It's a tough one because there are other people to consider in the house too,it will change the dynamics in the house, plus it will be difficult to not see each other and give each other space.

However,on the up side of this,if you can both agree boundries,respect each others space and that of the other people in the house,it could work.

Draw up a list of the pros and cons... seeing everything written down may give you a better perspective,on how it could work, and how it could go wrong.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/am-ready-date-again-353696-2.html

You seem to have forgotten I have read all your other posts too, and that has lead me to caution you against any impulsive actions, based on just intense feelings, as mostly being in a new environment, you may easily be distracted from other options, and opportunities, that may be presented to yourself later (you will meet a lot of people where your at.).

Given you were coming out of a rather lengthy relationship just last May, looking around first, and getting acclimated, couldn't hurt, and dating can come later. You know how I feel about dating, which is about fun, and VARIETY, so you stay balanced, and not just focused on one person.

Talaniman Rule-Date them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall, 18 to 80, blind, cripple, or crazy!

Thats about keeping your options open, and not be fixated on one person, all the time, and having a great time getting to know someone without pressure, or commitment.

There really is a lot of time to fall in love the right way, so why rush into anything, and miss the fun part?

No Tal, I remember you read my other posts as your advice was the advice I mostly took on board.

Also it wasn't May 2009 I got out of my relationship it was 2008, as I said it's been almost a year and a half.

Today he told me that he didn't want us to kiss/touch any more for the time being. Is that normal?

I would hazzard a guess he too is thinking about the fall out if you got together.

Take his cue,and be friends,get to know each other.

There's not much point persueing a relationship at the moment if he is going to second guess his every move..

I think you're right, that's the impression I'm getting off him too.

Keep things easy and light, don't get caught up in a drama of persueing or not persueing...

Just let things stand as they are,if things develop, see how you feel then,but for now,go back to the way things were and enjoy each others company, with no hassel or expectations.

Did you discuss his reasons for this?
It seems he s taking a step back .

We did discuss it. I said to him that we agreed to not get together and that that's not on the cards, to take things slowly and not start sleeping together, and to not sleep in the same bed any more. (We did this on occasion) so what's the problem with kissing? He said he just didn't want to for the time being.

The problem with kissing is it tends to lead to more eventually when there is attraction there,not always granted, but living under the same roof, you both may get carried away in the moment and regret it.

He said he didn't want to.. respect his decision and leave it at that.

You can't jump him if he is not willing.

Reverse the situation,you don't want to kiss and he wants too.. it would make the atmosphere in the house very tense.

The thing is I know he DOES want to kiss me because he did, then stopped and said that, and when I asked him why he thought it was a bad idea he couldn't even pinpoint it himself. It's like he is trying to find a problem where there isn't one but I guess there's nothing I can do about that.

You can't force the situation.

My advice is too leave him alone and work on the friendship.

Maybe he recognizes the situation for what it is, your living together, and acting like a couple, is a friends with benefits like situation that he wants no part of. After all its way to early for romance, love, or any commitment, and he wants to keep his own options, and opportunities open.

How would you feel if he had a date? Don't you think your moving to fast, and forcing things a bit?

What healthy guy doesn't want to make out? One that is trying to avoid a sticky situation later.

I hope you just stop pursuing this all together. Stay within the boundaries of good behavior, and don't start an attachment that bites you later.

He is right to back off. To much, to fast, crash and burn.