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View Full Version : Fathers name on birth certificate: do I have to have his permission?


autumn1987
Oct 12, 2009, 10:55 PM
I'm 10 weeks pregnant with my first baby and the father of my baby doesn't want anyone to know that I'm having his baby. I agreed to this but I am wondering now if I have to have his permission to put his name on my baby's birth records? What do I do if he says I can't put his name?

I am 22 years old and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 10 years. I was on medication from age 11 until about 1 year ago when I began using crystal meth. I just found out that I am pregnant (10 weeks) and stopped my IV meth use about 8 days ago. I have yet to see a doctor for prenatal care.

What do I do?

Where do I go?

What kind of doctor should I see first?

Should I go back on psyche meds?

I'm so lost and don't know where to start. I'm scared that I hurt the baby and I guess I'm afraid that the doctors will take my baby when its born if I tell them my history of drug addiction and use while pregnant.

Do I have to tell them about the drug use I did while pregnant?

I'm a 22 year old female who has been addicted to crystal meth for the last 13 months. I've had a couple weeks here and there in the last year that I went without any IV use but every time I've tried to get clean I start experiencing extreme anger. I've gotten so angery to the point that I've actually taken a butcher knife to various pieces of furniture around my house on several occasions. I've started altercations with family and friends that have almost became physical. The anger is just overwhelming. It consumes all of me. Will it go away? I've been clean for 8 days and I'm doing all I can to just work through the rage mostly because I'm 10 weeks pregnant but I'm ready to use again just to relieve myself of this rage. Help!!

I am 22 years old and have been diagnosed with bipolar disorder for 10 years. I was on medication from age 11 until about 1 year ago when I began using crystal meth. I just found out that I am pregnant (10 weeks) and stopped my IV meth use about 8 days ago. I have yet to see a doctor for prenatal care.

What do I do?

Where do I go?

What kind of doctor should I see first?

Should I go back on psyche meds?

I'm so lost and don't know where to start. I'm scared that I hurt the baby and I guess I'm afraid that the doctors will take my baby when its born if I tell them my history of drug addiction and use while pregnant.

Do I have to tell them about the drug use I did while pregnant?

So I'm in love with this guy named roberto. We were together but still seeing other people and I didn't know that his feelings for me were just as strong until February when he got arrested and sent to prison. While we were writing and revealing our true feelings for each other I was seeing other guys, including his brother christian. Now not only am I falling hard for christian but I am pregnant by him and I basically stopped writing roberto because I'm not sure whether I should tell him about the pregnancy. Christian doesn't want anyone to know that the baby I'm carrying is his and I agreed but how do I hide this from roberto, the man I love? I know I messed up bad, but I really do love both of these men and don't want to hurt either of them but I suck at lying and I know the truth will come out eventually. Should I just keep writing roberto like I'm not pregnant, should I tell him that I'm pregnant and if I do should I tell him that it's his brothers baby?

How would I get child support from the father of my unborn baby when he is not a legal citizen? He is here on a work visa and facing a court date which may revoke his visa. Our baby is due in may but he may be deported in January. Can I file for child support after his deportation?

Also, what kind of parental rights does he have? Could he take our baby (when it's born) to mexico with him without my permission? Does his family have any rights to my our baby?

jann007
Oct 13, 2009, 12:46 AM
Hi ,

According to me you have to write the letter to Roberto .One or the other day the truth has to come out . Its better to tell him as soon as possible .
If you don't want to tell him , In future it willl create a big problem .
This is my advice either you can accept or regret it .

Fr_Chuck
Oct 13, 2009, 02:25 AM
Yep a baby is not something you are gong to hide and once born ( if in the US) you are going to need to file for custody, ask for child support, ** don't trust him to "take care of you" get a court order.

It really sounds like you have been making some poor choices in life ( sleeping with a boyfreinds brother is one for sure)

But sorry you can't "love" the one in prison if you are having sex with his brother, sounds like you want to save and have a back up plan if one fails.

So come clean, be honest and tell everyone the truth and live with the mess that was created and clear or clean it up

Starry nights
Oct 13, 2009, 02:30 AM
Autumn,you are getting deeper and deeper into this mess.I think you realise you need to stop and think.You need to know very clearly what you want from whom.Otherwise,its just going to be a pretty ugly situation where there's a huge possibility of all three of you getting hurt.If you love both of these men and mostly, yourself,you will not carry on what you are doing.

Then there's a baby on the way,to make matters more complex.

Save everyone the pain and chaos.Pull yourself together and smell the coffee.Ask yourself the only question that will help you out of this : WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING? And no,it can't be a vague,escapist reply like I want everything.We all want the moon,can we have it?

Your options are along the line of : Do you want Roberto?Do you want Christian?Do you just want to step away from both of them and any other men to sort things out?What about the baby,whom do you want to bring it up with?

Once you have answers to these questions,you will know what to do next.

For the time being,quit misleading Roberto.If it means not writing/communicating with him,then so be it.He will thank you later once the mess inside your own head has cleared.And why does Christian want to keep the baby's father's identity a secret?

Fr_Chuck
Oct 13, 2009, 02:52 AM
When the baby is born you need to file in court for custody, the father may file for joint custody or visitiation.

You at this time may also file for child support.

Of course collecting it, may be another issue,

Fr_Chuck
Oct 13, 2009, 03:04 AM
Please do not start dozens of posts about the same subject with somewhat different info in each.

I have merged them the best I could ( I think I lost a answer or two doing this)

J_9
Oct 13, 2009, 05:52 AM
Please do not start dozens of posts about the same subject with somewhat different info in each.

I have merged them the best I could ( I think I lost a answer or two doing this)

I merged all answers to this thread.