I have been with a married man for three years but I have met a single guy. However I am torn as I have relied on my married lover a lot in the past, how do I end it?

I'm worried for the single guy that doesn't know you cheat on people and have no self respect or limits. Is this innocent man aware of what he is coming into because it's only fair for him to know you can't be trusted and open your legs for rent money.

And if you get with this new man, would you care if he had someone he was seeing on the side ( would it be OK for your new boyfreind ( or husband latter) to have a mistress ?

And excatly what is the married man taking care of for you, is he paying your rent, your bills, buy you a new car.

You break up by saying, don't call me any more. Or perhaps tell him to leave his wife or don't come back

No the married man I was seeing has not given me any financial help. I think I have finished with him, I know it is wrong for me to be with a married man, he told me he didn't ever have an affair before and he and his wife don't sleep together and have separate lives but I am getting increasingly more unhappy with the situation, I don't know how it will work out with single guy, we have only been friends for a short while but maybe I will have a chance at a committed relationship.

no the married man i was seeing has not given me any financial help. i think i have finished with him, i know it is wrong for me to be with a married man, he told me he didnt ever have an affair before and he and his wife dont sleep together and have seperate lives but i am getting increasingly more unhappy with the situation, i dont know how it will work out with single guy, we have only been friends for a short while but maybe i will have a chance at a committed relationship.

You mean a married man told you he hasn't had an affair before, and he and his wife don't get along? WOW, that one has never been heard here before.

You really should take some time off to work on yourself esteem. You must think very little of yourself as to allow a married man to use you like a sex toy, whenever he can sneak away.

What do you rely on this married man for? Moral support?

I agree with Chuff, do you really think it's fair for the new guy to NOT know your "situation".

And what does the guy who's married to another woman, think about you suddenly cutting him off?

Myself esteem probably isn't good but it wasn't really about sex the relationship was more about talking, going for walks together and I suppose feeling loved, however I feel so frustrated, I thought he was going to leave his wife, but I don't really see it happening, he told me we had a future together but I guess its not going to happen, I feel bad though about myself but want to change for the good

I feel bad though about myself but want to change for the good
I will take you at your word, so the magic solution is cut all contact with the married guy. That will work wonders, if your serious, and if you stick to it.

You end your relationship with this married man by stop contacting him and stop responding to his attempts at contacting you.

Then you tell the single guy that you need some time and space to figure things out.

You use this time and space to get some self-respect and self-esteem. Realize that you've been in a relationship with a married man, who cheated on his wife. Can you imagine how his wife would feel if she found out about you?

Once you've gained some morals and values, you can go back into the dating scene.

I don't understand why people still think it's okay to be with a married person. Marriage is supposed to be a life long, MONOGOMUS, committed relationship with someone who is supposed to be the ONLY one. WHY would you want to be with a man that can take that so lightly? If the marriage was so bad, they can divorce. At least that way they can have some dignity, this man that you've been seeing has none, and no values.
You already know that what you did was VERY wrong. Just cut this man off. If you need to tell him final words, you can tell him that in the process of trying to find yourself, you discovered that you have been making a huge mistake, and that he is a morally bankrupt, egotistical, inconsiderate tool, and that hope he has fun sticking it elsewhere. Then never talk to him again. :)

People on this blog are very judgemental. You have no business giving advice if it's only to judge someone. Things happen in life and sometimes we have no control as to how things will go... but if you're going to spend time on a blog to give advice, try doing so without sounding like a bunch of imature idiots who are probably sitting at home fat, overweight and jelous of other people so the best way to deal with that is by judging them and being critical!

Firstly this thread is ever a year old (sorry tal didn't realise when I gave you a rather late greenie - though I still agree with the advice you gave).

Secondly, although people do not always have control over the outcome of things Chtistine, they do have control over their own actions. Nobody put a gun to anyone's head here to make them choose to have an affair with a married man. Your own moralilty may be such that you do not have a problem with cheaters. That is your right and you have the right to express that opinion. You do not have the right to insult people for expressing a different opinion based on their own judgement and morality. Now that is immature.

Your punctuation and spelling could do with some work too.