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View Full Version : My boyfriend no longer wants sex.


Lhjtu072009
Oct 1, 2009, 02:22 PM
My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2 months now (we're both 21). Him and I have a great relationship, he tells and shows me how much he loves me, we constantly cuddle, and we spend all of our free-time together. However, as of these last couple of weeks he only seems to want to have sex after he's been drinking. We used to have sex at least 7 times a week in the beginning.. now its close to once a week. He says its because he's been stressed since his classes started and he works a lot, but I don't understand why in his free-time he doesn't want to do it? He can't possibly already be bored of it.. but sometimes I feel like he may be burnt out on sex since he had many previous sexual partners. Either way I feel really unattractive, very confused; and NEVER had this problem with my past, longer relationships :confused:
When I asked him why we never do it anymore he simply says "I'm just really tired" and tells me there's nothing wrong with me.. However I do know that there's no chance he's cheating.
I would really appreciate some form of explanation regarding this matter!
Thank you,
Katie

sandalwood7
Oct 1, 2009, 02:39 PM
I just want to say I know how you feel... The most important thing to realise is that this is not you fault. I do think that stress and tiredness do sometimes make the libido go right down so he may be being completely honest with you. Otherwise there are a whole host of reasons a man has poor libido (look them up on the net). Is your relationship good otherwise or have you been fighting? Does he use other drugs or has he started new medication? Could he be depressed? Is there something really stressful going on in his life? Does he want a committed relationship? It can all get very complicated working it out... I think the other important thing is to tell him what you feel (use I statements) and how important it is for you to have sex sometimes, otherwise you feel... etc In my experience, if you are in love and really like each other the honeymoon period should last longer than 2 months, more like many many months. Men also need variety. Variety is the spice of life. It is also imporant that you give your man this when you are in a long term relationship otherwise boredom can set in (I think this may be a harsh reality that us girls need to expect from talking to my male friends) . Talk to him about what turns him on, what he wants you to do for him. It is important that both partners try to please each other and make a dual effort.