free_money
Oct 1, 2009, 09:26 AM
I spent the majority of my childhood getting picked on and having no friends. This was because I was overweight and didn't take care of myself. By the time I was in 5th grade, I was an emotional eater. I would spent all- if not most- of my time snacking in front of the t.v. I was incredibly shy and had no social skills, as you can obviously imagine. I became really depressed. I've had summers where I would just spend days at a time crying in bed. And I still have days like that.
I've grown less shy over the years, but I'm nowhere near as confident as I want to be. I'm in college now and I try to take really good care of myself (in terms of hygiene and good health) and I've gotten a lot of compliments.
But the thing is, I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see and like the way I look, but when I step outside in public I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough. I'm still scared to start up a conversation with someone and still scared to speak up in class. I'm always comparing myself to other people. I'm just as afraid of what people think of me as I used to be.
There's one main thing that I just really don't understand. I was shy because I didn't apply myself and people thought I was ugly. But now I apply myself and I think I look good, but I'm still shy.
Why can't I overcome this?
I've grown less shy over the years, but I'm nowhere near as confident as I want to be. I'm in college now and I try to take really good care of myself (in terms of hygiene and good health) and I've gotten a lot of compliments.
But the thing is, I can look at myself in the mirror and be happy with what I see and like the way I look, but when I step outside in public I can't help but feel like I'm not good enough. I'm still scared to start up a conversation with someone and still scared to speak up in class. I'm always comparing myself to other people. I'm just as afraid of what people think of me as I used to be.
There's one main thing that I just really don't understand. I was shy because I didn't apply myself and people thought I was ugly. But now I apply myself and I think I look good, but I'm still shy.
Why can't I overcome this?