First of all I want to say thank you for reading this and I'm begging you to please read it all and I know it can be really long but I will make a decision pending you answer, please please help me make this decision since I don't want to make the wrong decision.

Right now I'm marry I'm inside of me I want a divorce and the only thing stopping me is my heart. My body mind friends and family don't like her and never want to see her again, I contradict myself with my mind and heart. Please help me make this decision for me.

We and my wife have been married for 10 months now and its been the craziest rollercoster I have ever been in. I was working for an energy company when I met her and she was in very extreamly 6 year abuse relationship. First as a child she had the worst childhood any kid can have (you can only imagine) therefore she has very bad attitude problems, she has never been able to meet a good man since all of them including her dad has been very bad experiences. After she got hire she had a one night stand with one of the employees which I knew about after couple of months we started talking. The guy moved far away therefore I really didn't care. I wasn't looking for a relationship just friendship. However we felt madly in love, really bad, that just weeks after we got married. Which I knew it was my fault and I shouldn't haven't done but we went crazy at it.
I'm not your typical kind of guy, I'm good looking and what always been my best has been my attitude and charisma. People just like me because I guess I'm a good heart. And that's what she fell in love with. Someone who genuine loved her. I always been really good lisener friend and husband I have provider and more anything than any person has ever done before. And the reason why is because of my love for her, it was pure... I just wanted to be the perfect husband posible since she never had no man like that.

We started having problems from the beginning after we got married, she started talking to her ex. To get her closure since we rush into marriage I agree to it. We always had fight about her ex. And actually broke up several times because of him. But she always find a way to get me back. It was so bad that just couple of months ago after I caugt her talking to him again. I find out that use to talk a lot though her call history. I mean she doesn't talk to him anymore and I know that for a fact. The problem is I can trust her because...
She had lied to me so many times but so many times I actually have post what I post it couple of months ago

I was the first hispanic person she ever dated too because she always dated caucasian folks. And she left him for me. Since the day we been togueter we haven't been apart. We had of fights here and there just like any other couple.
And because I loved her so much I try to made her really happy which because she had a rough childhood and bad experian with man she never shown much afection or care. After 3 months she started acting weird and started getting very apart as if nothing was never to good for her and always complainng. That she told me one day she started having dreams of her ex. And he has been contacting her. And that she need it her closure. One day she brought a book of pictures that was hers and her ex rings which made me really unconfortable but her excuse was that pictures meant a lot to her and if she would lose them she would be devastated. I agreed because of my love towards her and tried to understand, well after a while she started talking to his ex' girlfriend suppusoly talking but stuff about him which she find out that he cheated on her and got a girl pregnant and now he has herpes, which I found out odd. And we started fighting because of him. Than she change her number so he wouldn't bother us. But some how he would always get her number. And I caught him txtin her several times. When we were 6 months marry she started acting really apart again, distant, we went from a very acting sex life to nothing. Then one day tire of I confront her about it. And I saw a particular ring in her neck and I got really upset her excuse was that she kept dreaming about him and with those she didn't dream about him anymore. I couldn't take it anymore so I left. And after two days she wouldn't stop calling me, coming to my job and tried to get back with me that she had a reality check and didn't know how much she loved me until I left and at the time she wasn't sure were going to last because how different we were. At first I refuse but than I did because of my love she promise she was going to change and not talk to him anymore. Which she kept the promise for a while. Until 2 months ago she left her myspace on which I found that he send her his number. I didn't confront her at first until I got her phone and dial it. It was under her boss number. Which she would always call and text because supposlty they were good friends!! I left again because she broke her promise! But she tried to get me back and her excuse was that he was hasaing her and she wouldn't live us along unless she prove to him that I she loves me more and she swear to God that they only talk 5 times and that she kept both numbers with her. And that she was texting her boss. Well the funny thing about is that she always pray that he would leaves along and us to work it out every time we would go to church. And things were going great. But I always had that gut feeling that she has lie because her family will always tell her that she want him anyway. Which it didn't make anysense but she use to tell me that is because they didn't know how much she loves me. The funny thing about is that she would always put her self on were she's right she is very possesive and has a bad attitude. And his number was blocked and everything but he already change numbers too which made me more insecure. Last week I went to sprint and got her call history, she ofcouse lied again and it shows all the times were she calles him which it was around 5 to 6 times a day while I was at work or me sleeping it just very upseting I left again. But know her excuse is that all she talk about was me and the reason that she lied was to protecet me because she was scare to lose me again!! I don't know what to do. Because I love her so much but I'm tire of it. Please help me. I know she loves me I don't dought that but she has lied a lot and I want to work but I'm scare! Now she wants me back again but I don't know what to do! Please help me




This is what happen on 2 months ago and as you can see I'm back again with her. And she has change and she is trying so hard for this marriage to work however last week told her I wanted to know anything that way there wouldn't be any secrets behind us... one of them was on her friends birthday they went to a strip club they use to go when they were single which I allowed her since it was her best friend and even I didn't wanted to I did let her go. She promise me she wouldn't do nothing and she told me she didn't. Well she that one of the strippers she use to be cool with kiss her in the mouth and she slap him on the face, and she was force to be at stage because of peer pressure. Which it really hurt. But foremost the one that hurt is she will always tell me I'm the best in bed that I always have that I make it better than her previous experience. Well she lied about that and came to find out I'm number 3, and she never told any complain about my size and I'm not small I'm actuallly at 6inch. Which is average and she told me I'm the 2nd smallest one, just imagine all the toughts that came to my head. Not only that she doesn't like oral at all but she told me she use to do it to her ex all the time even she didn't like it.

The point is I love her but its getting bad. Really bad the only thing is holding me back is my heart. And now I feel bad because for the past 2 months she has actually tried very very hard to make this marrieage work she really has and that's what hurts the most. I don't want to brake her heart again by leaving her. I know she trully loves me know more then anything else but her past actions and lies had killed me know. Even though she's honest now I feel like is to late. Please help me make this decision.. please. And again thank you for reading my storie I will make a decision upon your replay

My and my ex got married about 10 months ago. i have always been able to date pretty girls, (What the hell does this matter?)however when i met my wife we got married only 3 weeks after knowing each other.(RED FLAG) she was in 6 years abusive relationship. and she left him for me.(DOUBLE RED FLAG, this is a cardinal sin in dating and relationships, if they did that what is to stop them from doing it to you) since the day we been togueter we havent been apart. we had of fights here and there just like any other couple. and because i loved her so much i made her really happy. after 3 months she started acting weird and started gettin very y as if nothing was never to good for her. (YOU HAVE TO LOVE YOURSELF BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE SOMEONE ELSE)that she told me one day she started having dreams of her ex.(YOU can't JUMP FROM ONE RELATIONSHIP TO ANOTHER ITS A RECIPE FOR DISASTER, GET IT!) and he has been contacting her. and that she need it her closure. (CLOSURE AFTER GETTING MARRIED??????)one day she brought a book of pictures that was hers and her ex which made me really unconfortable but her excuse was that pictures ment alot to her.(DUDE YOU NEED TO REALLY UNDERSTAND THAT THIS WAS DOOMED FROM THE BEGINNING, I AM SORRY FOR YOU BUT YOU DEFINITELY NEEDED TO LEARN A LESSON HERE) i agreed because of my love towards her, well after a while she started talking to his ex' girlfriend suppusoly talkin but stuff about him like he cheated on her and he has herpes, which i found out add. and we started fighting because of him. than she change her number so he wouldnt bother us. but some how he would always get her number. and i caught him txtin her several times. when we were 6 months marry she started acting really apart, distant, we went from a very acting sex life to nothing. then one day tire of i confront her about it. and i saw a particular ring in her neck and i got really upset her excuse was that she kept dreaming about him and with those she didnt dream about him anymore. i couldnt take it anymore so i left. and after two days she wouldnt stop calling me, coming to my job and tried to get back with me. at first i refuse but than i did because of my love she promise she was going to change and not talk to him anymore. which she kept the promise for a while. until 1 month ago she left her myspace on which i found that he send her his number.(THIS SHOULD NEVER HAVE HAPPENED BECAUSE YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN LONG GONE, YOU ALREADY LOST ANY TRUST YOU HAD WITH HER ALONG TIME AGO, THE FUNDEMENTAL ASPECT OF ANY RELATIONSHIP LET ALONE MARRIGE) i didnt confront her at first until i got her phone and dial it. it was under her boss number. which she would always call and text because supposlty they were good friends!!! i left again! but she tried to get me back and her excuse was that he was hasaing her and she wouldnt live us along unless she prove to him that i she loves me more and she swear to God that they only talk 5 times and that she kept both numbers with her. and that she was texting her boss. well the funny thing about is that she always pray that he would leaves along and us to work it out. and things were going great. but i always had that gut feeling that she has lie because her family will always tell her that she want him anyway which it didnt make anysense but she use to tell me that is because they didnt know how much she loves me. the funny thing about is that she would always put her self on were shes right. and his number was blocked and everything but he already change numbers too which made me more insecure. last week i went to sprint and got her call history, she ofcouse lied again and it shows all the times were she calles him which it was around 5 to 6 times a day while i was at work or me sleeping it just very upseting i left again. but know her excuse is that she just want to be friends with him that she always had!!! i dnt know what to do. because i love her so much but im tire of it. please help me!!!!:confused:


My heart goes out to you and sorry for being harsh but i could put a flag beside almost everything you wrote.


You need to move on big time, i don't care how much you love her, this relationship will never work out, start with no contact, move cities if you have to but let it go, and make sure you learn about how to find your next partner from this relationship, there are countless lessons that can be learned from reading what you wrote, understand them and become better for your next relationship, and please please please, get to know somebody before you make a commitment as great as marrige, please work on yourself esteem and by golly, mooooooove onnnnnnnnnn forrrrrrrrrrrr goooooooood, do not listen to anything she has to say, you are damaging yourself in ways you can't even understand, cry your eyes out, learn and keep busy and find someone that you can trust and have a proper foundation for a life together.

I am so serious about this my friend,

This girl is walking all over you and your letting her do it, she knows you love her and thus why she is getting away with it,

Your going to hurt for quite awhile but start healing now!


Start your healing now
Start your healing now

Be a man, no matter how hard it is,

No man takes this,

Its hard because you love her so much,

But no love is worth being demoralized the way you have been,

You're a fool if you try and work this out with her,

Start your healing now because the longer you wait the harder and longer it will take.


If I could punch some sense into you with the words I would.

If it was me, I would divorce her, and disappear from her life.

Ain't that much love in the world, to justify being her fool!

You do seem to be a caring person and you don't want to cause your wife any pain. However, I think you need to look out for yourself now. I'd say go for counseling first. I think she's immature. If that doesn't work or she won't go, then file.

She obviously has something going on with her ex. It is not uncommon for the abused to want to return to the abuser. You are the dependable one that she can count on when things turn ugly.

The comments about your size and performance are low class. I can understand how you'd feel, I know I'd feel the same way. You are supposed to love one another "for better or for worse" and so why the complaint. Some things you just have to accept.

You've given her several chances and she's gone back to her old ways. How long do you want this to last? It's been 11 months, luckily you don't have any kids in the mix right now. Please do yourself a favor and use protection so that she doesn't use that to keep you.

See the counselor first.

Dude, She's a Narcissist... Run away and be a happy man...

Listen Carlos went a person going to make a decition like this one the best thing to do is to make it with you head and not with you heart.If you are not happy with her think about you and you future.If you are specting her to change the way she is you are losing you time.People don't change.You been giving her a lot of opportunities.Dont feel sorry for her and do wats make you happy and think about you self.Very soon you going to find the right women.Dont worry so much and go with you life.Good luck

Get a divorce!! fast

Your story was so incredibly complicated that I actually had trouble following it.
However, through all the complicated detail, what I could see is -

1. She lies to you (repeatedly, a lot, frequently, all the time)
2. She belittles you about your penis size and performance
3. She uses her Ex as an excuse to make you feel insecure and to not get close to you.
4. Your body, mind, family and friends don't like her.

Everything and everyone is telling you that she's bad for you. You know it too. How can you love someone that is poison for your heart (and mind)?

She's on her best behavior at the moment because she sees that you're at the end of your tether. It won't last - soon she'll start to lie, belittle your masculinity, act weird again and text her Ex.

Be a man. Take back your strength and masculinity. Move forward with your life, divorce her and reclaim your Hispanic self.

The biggest indication of future behavior is past behavior.

She has shown that her word is worthless and you can't trust her.

She pleads with you when you find out about her lying and you always take her back.

I wonder what else she may be doing that you are not catching her at.

I see a pattern and I don't see that she has any reason to change.You keep forgiving her and giving her all these chances and still she continues.

It would seem she thinks more about talking to the ex than repairing the damage she has already done to your marriage.

I would not let strangers on the Internet make a decision about my marriage but I think you need to set some ground rules and stick to them.

Are you her sole support? Does she rely on you for her daily bread?

I wonder because clearly she wants to keep you around for some reason but I don't see love as the motivation.

Love means not hurting the person you love.Love means doing whatever it takes to regain the broken trust and NOT doing the same thing over and over again that you know is hurting your loved one.That isn't love.

Perhaps her damaged childhood has affected how she relates to people on a deep emotional level.
Maybe therapy would help.