Ok. This is a long story but I need help. My girlfriend Sasha and I were together for a year, or 2 days before a year, when she broke up with me. We had been getting in a lot of fights and some of them did involve violence but nothing real bad. She and her mom and other people said I was controlling and got badly jealous when other guys or girls were around(she's bi and I'm a lesbian). When we broke up she said that it will take some time before we ever get back together again because I need to change my attitude(Temper, controlling, jealousy, etc.). She is going out with this guy named Ryan who treats her a lot better than I did. He makes her smile and laugh all the time, she said I could do that at times but not as much as him. Basically she said when I change, I have to prove it to her and be better than Ryan. She says she doesn't love him but I;m scared that by the time I change, she will and she won't want to ever be with me again. I just got a counselor last week who's going to help me be better but I really hope it works because I don't want anybody but her. She's my pride and joy and I will do anything for her. I just need some advice. Something that will change me SOON. Because I want and need her back. I need her in my life and she's the only one for me. Please help me. Signed, iwantherback.

It brings up a red flag to me that it's a competition to see who's the best, you or Ryan. So what happens if some other guy comes along again after you win her back and he is "better" than you? Do you have to go through this again?

It brings up a red flag to me that its a competition to see who's the best, you or Ryan. So what happens if some other guy comes along again after you win her back and he is "better" than you? Do you have to go through this again?

No because I will be the only one she'll want because I'll be better than anyone

Jealousy is a big red flag ,violence is an even bigger one.
Its good that you re getting counselling and that should be for you so that you can work out your own issues.
As for your ex you do you want to be with someone who makes you compete for her affections?
Time to work on you and leave her to get on with her life as you should get on with your own.

No because I will be the only one she'll want because I'll be better than anyone

Being a woman, you should know better than anyone what you might consider the best and nicest thing to do for your partner isn't necessarily what pushes her buttons. AKA the nice guy finishing last that we always hear about.

Can I ask what ages you both are?

It will help give other posters an idea of where you are in your life.

I agree with the above posts,how will you ever be sure she is satisfied with you,right now she is saying your not good enough,but if your jump through the hoops you might be...

You may think and feel that you are the best,but you will never know for sure if she thinks that.