I moved to France, 5 and a half years ago from England. Where i live now is very isolated and small.

Last year i met a friend who went to the religious private school on the other side of town. it just so happened that she had a boyfriend. little did i know, but she was my neighbours girlfriend. i had never met my neighbours.

One day last february my friend gave me his msn address because she thought it was silly that i had never spoke to my neighbour who is the same age as me just because he also goes to the religious school and i'm in the public school.

Anyway i started talking to him and found out that he wanted to go to the big lycee i wanted to go to (not many people want to go there). anyway we talked quite a bit, went out together a few times to get to know each other better and after a while, we had a lot in commun... everything actually. we went to together as well as Ben&Jerry.

A couple months later, in April i think we got really close while he was in the city for a week. we would spend hours on msn talking all night and i was falling in love with him. before the end of april, it was our birthdays and we went to this fair everyone from school goes to and he asked me out a couple of days later.

When i have a boyfriend, it makes my brain mushy. and we were going to have our big exams in a couple of months time so i explained to him that i really didnt want to lose him as a friend and that i would prefer to wait until the summer so i dont mess anything too big up. he said it was fine and that he totally agreed and we were back to being siamese cats.

At the end of may, i went on a school trip which really upset us both because we were used to being without each other even as just friends for even a week so when i got back we spent the day together. that night when i walked back across the road home, he text me asking me out again. i knew that i really wanted to but that i really didn't want to but i couldnt say no, not when i loved him so much. i have never loved anyone so much!! so i accepted even though the exam was only 1 month away. on one condition that nobody else needed to know, i was scared of losing him because i had something to lose.

we had the best 2 weeks ive ever had till that one afternoon when i was sitting in free period with everyone in my year nearly when he text me. he sent a longish message saying not a lot but to make a long story short, he dumped me. i was in hysterics. i couldnt breathe, i was speechless. when someone asked me what was wrong, nothing came out, and the tears streamed down my face as if i had never cried before... i didn't stop. i looked like a panda. a really ugly broken hearted panda. a lot of people got a bit scared when i was in hysterics, i was so heart broken.

when i got home that night, his guitar was on my doorstep. i didn't want it. i went to take it back but he didnt come out. next day went back around. i was in such a state i stormed around chucked him his guitar and left.

One week later, i was in no better condition and didnt even bother thinking during my exams. good job french exams aren't like most others! so i failed my exams. too much going on in my head! he never told me why he dumped me.

3 months later, we are both in the same school but not the one we both wanted to go to, we're with all the people from last year all mixed up with new people. he doesnt even say a word to me anymore. ive tried to ask him for an explanation but he never answers. he just acts like im a complete stranger. i can't look at him without crying. i can't stand my friends talking about him without wanting to cry.... all he does is give way coming off the bus..........

i'm utterly confused but still in love but i can't move on without a WHY :confused: and i've got no one to talk to since he was my best friend!

I know exactly where you're coming from. And let me tell you. You may fell as if you were never loved, so when someone showed you love, it filled that empty whole in your heart. Love yourself. Look in the mirror and say I love you! I am not kidding. Do it everyday you wake up and go to bed. You are worth loving! Don't ever forget it.

Another thing that always helped me with break ups is thinking about that person and little things you didn't like. You see, it's really not him you miss, it's the memories and the fantasies that you wanted! So look at those details you didn't like. One big one is, he never told you why. What kind of cold hearted person leaves someone out in the cold! How disrespectful to you! Maybe there where other things, like, the way he dressed, or maybe a wart! Only you'd know. Think how lucky you are he didn't stand up meeting your parents, or left you with a baby! Believe me, you won't miss him. You are completely lovable, and if you feel like he was the only one you can talk to, WRONG! Talk to me if you have to! I have a email I set up that I never use. Its [email protected]. If you email me through there, I will give you my real email that I check often. Remember, there is always someone you can talk to ^_^.

Let me know if this helps