I have been living with my man for 3 years. My daughter is 3. He has been there for her in every situation since she was born, the Bio father is NOT on the BIRTHCERTIFICATE, he does not care to see her, nor pay child support, and has not done nothing for her or seen her since she was born, and he is only 17, and my man is 21.

Can my BF adopt her? Or do I have to wait till we are married for 2 yrs
And does the bio dad have to sign his rights away even if he's not on the birth
Certificate?

What state are you in? Most states do require at least a year of marriage not just living together for three years. Why haven't you gone to court to get a support order? That is the only way that the bio father will owe support if you don't have an order he dosen't owe anything. He will have to sign to allow the adoption and you will need an attorney to draw up the papers so you may as well start looking for one now and they will let you know what your local laws are for adoptions.

The biological father has to give his consent in order for another man to adopt your daughter. Without his name on the birth certificate it doesn't sound like there's been any legal establishment of paternity even though you know who the biological father is and he (presumably) hasn't denied paternity. But even so, almost without exception, his consent would be required. Now the fact that you're not married to your "man" will be an obstacle, even though you've been living with him for 3 years. In your question you mention "being married for 2 years." Perhaps that's a standard in your particular jurisdiction ; I can't say for sure. Also, if I'm reading your thread correctly, your 3-year-old daughter's father is only 17. That means he was only 14 when she was born ; hardly in a position to pay child support. Certainly he'd be expected to do so later on, when he's older and has an education and hence the means. In fact, at age 17 I'm not even sure any judge would let him voluntarily sign away his rights even if, all other things being equal, conditions were generally favorable for an adoption.

First do you have a custody order and a child support order in place.
Next so you had sex with a 14 or 15 year old boy to get pregnant, so how old does that make you.

Next "YOUR MAN" may have been there for three years, but your husband can adopt. So there needs to be those words.

In the end, the bio father will have to agree

First do you have a custody order and a child support order in place.
Next so you had sex with a 14 or 15 year old boy to get pregnant, so how old does that make you.

Next "YOUR MAN" may have been there for three years, but your husband can adopt. so there needs to be those words.

in the end, the bio father will have to agree


I have been told that I don't need custody order in place since she has
Been in my care since day one and since his name is not on birthcertificate,
He is 2 yrs younger then me, I am 19, turn 20 in march, and he turns 18 in march.

Why would he have to agree if he HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, or not even proof
Of him being bio dad, or not even on the birth certificate?

What state are you in? Most states do require at least a year of marriage not just living together for three years. Why haven't you gone to court to get a support order? That is the only way that the bio father will owe support if you don't have an order he dosen't owe anything. He will have to sign to allow the adoption and you will need an attorney to draw up the papers so you may as well start looking for one now and they will let you know what your local laws are for adoptions.

I am in Edmonton, AB, Canada.

Yeah I thought so. I don't plan on him doing anything until we are married if we do.
Just some thought in the air. Also, I don't want child support from him, as it would be
Drug money under the table, I have allowed him to take her over night once
When she was 3 months, she came back, not fed all bottles, looking high, and
Not properly buckled... other times he has seen her in my supervision, he has done illegal
Acts that I don't approve of, and left, and just ignored him since, he would harass me all the time, I told him "take me to court" and said "no" so he really does not care.

I have been told that i dont need custody order in place since she has
been in my care since day one and since his name is not on birthcertificate,
He is 2 yrs younger then me, i am 19, turn 20 in march, and he turns 18 in march.

Why would he have to agree if he HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH HER, or not even proof
of him being bio dad, or not even on the birth certificate?

Because he IS the father of the child regardless of the games you have been playing. He can establish paternity and get partial custody also at this point. That's why its best for you to do it now. You should also have a child support order in place.

Lol, I know for a fact he will not do anything about it, as, he is a dealer, has no education, parties all the time, has warrents out for his arrests, I don't no where he lives anymore, nor his number or anything, he is young, I won't get child support for a long time, And I am not playing games...

And even if he was to do anything, all he would get is Visitation rights that are supervised since he is young and I filed he is unfit.

But should I go for full or sole custody?

Lol, I know for a fact he will not do anything about it, as, he is a dealer, has no education, parties all the time, has warrents out for his arrests, i dont no where he lives anymore, nor his number or anything, he is young, i wont get child support for a long time, And i am not playing games....

and even if he was to do anything, all he would get is Visitation rights that are supervised since he is young and i filed he is unfit.

But should i go for full or sole custody?

No one can look into a crystal ball and predict the future. We can only guess at it. As you say he is young but that doesn't mean he couldn't turn his life around either. That's the biggest problem with children having children.

As far as going for sole custody, that you can do depending on the province you live in. There are varying types of custody. Some are split into two categories.. physical and legal. In some courts its not split. So depending on where you live there will be choices to be made. Having sole physical custody means the child remains with you and there is no visitation from the NCP ( non custodial parent ). Having full legal custody means you have the right to make the decisions for the child. Niether of these will relinquish his rights to the child should he choose to excersize them. You would still need his permission for an adoption. Also regardless of how the income comes in place you should still ask for a support order. Then you will ave a bargining chip for later if he doesn't pay and you wish to seek adoption for your child.

The reason that you have to have his permission for the adoption is because he is the father. Now, of course you can hire the attorney (which you will need anyway) and they can tell you how long it will take to get him into court to first prove he is the father then prove it is in the best interest of the child for the judge to terminate the bio fathers rights and approve the adoption. But the fact remains that your husband can not adopt with out a lawyer, the bio parent's approval (unless the judge can be swayed to finalize the adoption with out the approval which is rare but it has happened), and the moving of rights from one party to another. Unless of course you want to also loose your rights and just have your husband adopt by himself then the child will no longer be yours legally. That is another option (probably not one you will like but that's the way the law works. Like someone said there are many problems with babies having babies this is one of them.

The reason that you have to have his permission for the adoption is because he is the father. Now, of course you can hire the attorney (which you will need anyway) and they can tell you how long it will take to get him into court to first prove he is the father then prove it is in the best interest of the child for the judge to terminate the bio fathers rights and approve the adoption. But the fact remains that your husband can not adopt with out a lawyer, the bio parent's approval (unless the judge can be swayed to finalize the adoption with out the approval which is rare but it has happened), and the moving of rights from one party to another. Unless of course you want to also loose your rights and just have your husband adopt by himself then the child will no longer be yours legally. That is another option (probably not one you will like but that's the way the law works. Like someone said there are many problems with babies having babies this is one of them.


All right, well I will not be having my man adopt her then, I am waititng till the bio father takes me to court, because I know he won't, and as of now since nothing is happening legally, I have the choices, decisions, and rights because nothing is done. He has no rights to her, I talked to a laywer yesterday and because he's not on the birth certificate he has no rights where I am. So its all good. He messed up good. And I am glad, because he is not a good PERSON, I don't even know what I was thinking. And no I want rights to my daughter thanky ou.

Alright, well i will not be having my man adopt her then, i am waititng till the bio father takes me to court, because i know he wont, and as of now since nothing is happening legally, i have the choices, decisions, and rights because nothing is done. He has no rights to her, i talked to a laywer yesterday and because hes not on the birth certificate he has no rights where i am. So its all good. He messed up good. And i am glad, because he is not a good PERSON, i dont even know what i was thinking. And no i want rights to my daughter thanky ou.

The lawyer you spoke to is wrong if he said he has no rights. He does in fact have rights. At this point he is choosing not to excersize them but the door remains open. Also unless your " man " is married to you then having him adopt would mean you give up your rights too.

You really should go to court and get things settled. In not doing so your not acting in the best interest of your child.

I don't know exactly what the attorney told you, but what you have told us about what he said is not accurate.

Currently the bio father does not have rights because he is unidentified as the father. But that can change at any time. All the bio father has to do is go to court to exercise those rights. There may be a time limit by when he has to do this, ask your lawyer about that.

But if you try to have your new man adopt, its almost a certainty the court will require you get his permission.

The lawyer you spoke to is wrong if he said he has no rights. He does in fact have rights. At this point he is choosing not to excersize them but the door remains open. Also unless your " man " is married to you then having him adopt would mean you give up your rights too.

You really should go to court and get things settled. In not doing so your not acting in the best interest of your child.


Actually, ME not doing so is a good thing because Her bio father would brain wash her, and he wants nothing to do with her, so why do anything I was just asking if I had to be married or not, not all this ing details of I know already, I am not taking him to court when he don't care, when he cares he can take me to court. Because My daughter loves her daddy and the bio father has never showed any interest even when there were chances, he rather take his girlfriend over his child.

I agree that you are doing the best thing by doing nothing. Leave it up to the bio father to take action. The longer he doesn't take action the better chance that he may forfeit his rights.

The only negative in not taking action is you deprive your daughter of child support. But the way I read it, it would be hard to get support from him anyway.

At some point, however, you will have to explain to her why she doesn't have her daddy's last name. How you handle that will be important, but you have plenty of time to prepare for it.

I agree that you are doing the best thing by doing nothing. Leave it up to the bio father to take action. The longer he doesn't take action the better chance that he may forfeit his rights.

The only negative in not taking action is you deprive your daughter of child support. But the way I read it, it would be hard to get support from him anyway.

At some point, however, you will have to explain to her why she doesn't have her daddy's last name. How you handle that will be important, but you have plenty of time to prepare for it.

Yeah. I will be going for child support when its available. Right now
I know he has no education, he is 17, he does not have a legal job.
He was giving me a little money when she was 1 month to 3 months, till
I found out it was drug money. Yes I understand that I will have to explain
That she doesn't have her bio dads last name, but that will be easy. But when she
Is able to understand. But my boyfriend and I own our own house, and they are well
Brought up and financially stable. My boyfriend and I together make amazing money for our age.

Yeah. I will be going for child support when its available. Right now
I know he has no education, he is 17, he does not have a legal job.
He was giving me a little money when she was 1 month to 3 months, till
i found out it was drug money. Yes i understand that i will have to explain
that she doesnt have her bio dads last name, but that will be easy. But when she
is able to understand. But my bf and i own our own house, and they are well
brought up and financially stable. My bf and i together make amazing money for our age.

Child support order is available now. You need to get into court and settle this asap. Also playing house isn't the same as being married. The title for this had Step Dad in it and you keep referring to him as daddy. Both of which are untrue. Not at least until your married. So the time to start is now and make things right.

Child support order is available now. You need to get into court and settle this asap. Also playing house isnt the same as being married. The title for this had Step Dad in it and you keep reffering to him as daddy. Both of which are untrue. Not atleast until your married. So the time to start is now and make things right.


Don't be telling me what to do here. Chad has been involved in
Her life since the MINUTE she was born because the bio dad
At the time said "i dont want her or nothing to do with her"
So when I moved in with him, it took 4 months to give bio
Dad a chance, he still didn't want to be there, so chad stepped
In because he is there weather were together or not.
She loves him. He loves her. He has supported her from day one
He is her guardian since we have been living together for 3 yrs.
So as far as this goes I say what happens until the bio dad starts
To care for her.

Don't be telling me what to do here.

First, please can the attitude! You posted here and asked for help. No one is telling you what to do. They are giving you advice based on what you have posted.

While I agree in principle with califdad's last post, I'm not sure I would advise it in your case. I think you feel you and your boyfriend can support your daughter on your own. If you do file for support at any time you will have to establish the bio father as the legal father. If your ultimate goal is having your boyfriend adopt then that's not the best idea.

But I would definitely start planning the wedding. Owning a house together (assuming you are on the deed) can be a recipe for disaster if you two break up (yes, I know you feel that won't happen). But you want to establish a stable relastionship to prepare for adoption.

First, please can the attitude! You posted here and asked for help. No one is telling you what to do. They are giving you advice based on what you have posted.

While I agree in principle with califdad's last post, I'm not sure I would advise it in your case. I think you feel you and your boyfriend can support your daughter on your own. If you do file for support at any time you will have to establish the bio father as the legal father. If your ultimate goal is having your boyfriend adopt then that's not the best idea.

But I would definitely start planning the wedding. Owning a house together (assuming you are on the deed) can be a recipe for disaster if you two break up (yes, I know you feel that won't happen). But you want to establish a stable relastionship to prepare for adoption.

Sorry about the "attitude" but I just felt that he was telling me what to do.
Yes we can easily support her on our own, have been doing it for the last 3 yrs
And me and my boyfriend also have a 9 month old daughter together as well.

"start planning a wedding?" I most definitely do not have the money for a wedding
At 19. I am getting my career on the go before I even think about marriage. But
Yes it had been talked about and we agreed in or around 5 yrs would be a good time
For it. I am not on the house. His name, and my parents are on the house. (they
Co signed for him). So if we broke up, it would be between my parents and him,
They have an amazing relationship. I would not keep the house. Chad would. Or he
Would sell it one of the two. But yes you are right to establish a stable relationship
For adoption no worries there. It was just a question so I know what to prepare for.
But I sort of had an idea about being married is first step. Were not rushing into marriage
Or adoption as its in the air.

We give advice here. We tell people what we think they should do in their situation. What the people want to do with that advice is up to them.

A wedding doesn't have to cost very much. It can be as simple as going before a judge or magistrate which will cost almost nothing.

There will be many advantages to you AND your children by getting that marriage certificate. Don't wait 5 years, I see no reason not to do it now. You can have a big party for your 5th anniversary.

We give advice here. We tell people what we think they should do in their situation. What the people want to do with that advice is up to them.

A wedding doesn't have to cost very much. It can be as simple as going before a judge or magistrate whihc will cost almost nothing.

There will be many advantages to you AND your children by getting that marriage certificate. Don't wait 5 years, I see no reason not to do it now. You can have a big party for your 5th anniversary.

I know. But I am just more focused on my career. Its
A long path ahead of me. But within 5 years for sure.

I'm puzzled - no money to get married but two children out of wedlock?

What exactly is your career choice?

And you are aware that if something happens to "your man" you have no legal rights if you are not married. And, yes, it happens.

Just out of curiosity because these problems are posted all the time - was the father addicted, a low life, when you had sex with him and conceived this child or did that come later?

I'm puzzled - no money to get married but two children out of wedlock?

What exactly is your career choice?

And you are aware that if something happens to "your man" you have no legal rights if you are not married. And, yes, it happens.

Just out of curiosity because these problems are posted all the time - was the father addicted, a low life, when you had sex with him and conceived this child or did that come later?

Holy crap. I am 19 yrs old!! I am not 30!! My boyfriend makes 4 grand a month
And I bring in 1100

2000 mortgage, 1000 truck... and food and bills, yeah no money for a wedding, but
We are good for everything else. I don't need to rush into marriage its only been 3 yrs.
My career choice, how nosey are you, I am in school to become a Practical nurse.

Wow, very personal questions here. HE LIED HIS AGE TO ME, he certainly didn't look young
And yes he was a low life hence WHY I am not with him anymroe, and hence why he don't care about his daughter,

There are good reasons we ask these questions. Its not nosiness, but because we need information to make sure we are providing the best advice. Also, you need to understand that your experiences may help other people. Some people just browse these forums to look for people with a similar situation and may learn from them.

For example, we may have a girl around 16 who just met this seemingly nice boy who wants to have sex with her. This girl may read this thread and think twice about it. She may, at the least, get to know this boy better before she takes that step. By relating your experience, you may help prevent someone from making the same mistakes you did.

And I will state, again, you don't have to have an expensive wedding. You can get married in a civil ceremony for very little money. But the longer you wait to get married, the greater risk you take. If you want to protect yourself and your child, you will make it legal ASAP.

The cost of getting married is the cost of the license and, again, strictly from a legal standpoint I hope "your man" has protected you from financial harm. You wouldn't be the first or the last to post that suddenly "her man" found someone else and she was outside with no place to live because everything was in his name.

And I trust anyone else who is considering turning 19 and having two children will read this and reconsider.

As far as the father's age - he lied about that. You never noticed he was a deadbeat and a druggie?

No one is picking on you - you posted a question and don't seem willing to accept the answer. In my area the LPN course is very short, something like 8 months, but this may very well be different in other areas.

The cost of the average courthouse wedding is about $50 for a marriage license

If you're making $5500 a month and can't swing $50 to get married, then YOU are the one with issues.

Holy crap. I am 19 yrs old!!!!! i am not 30 !!! my bf makes 4 grand a month
and i bring in 1100

2000 mortgage, 1000 truck....and food and bills, yeah no money for a wedding, but
we are good for everything else. I dont need to rush into marriage its only been 3 yrs.
my career choice, how nosey are you, i am in school to become a Practical nurse.

Wow, very personal questions here. HE LIED HIS AGE TO ME, he certainly didnt look young
and yes he was a low life hence WHY i am not with him anymroe, and hence why he dont care about his daughter,

You pay $2,000 a month for a house and $1,000 a month for a truck? What kind of job does your boyfriend have?

I don't see what the difference between being 19 and being 30 makes. I don't find it to be "rushing into marriage" if you've spent 3 years with this person and want him to adopt your child. Clearly, you see yourself with him long-term... but of course, that's just an assumption.

The cost of getting married is the cost of the license and, again, strictly from a legal standpoint I hope "your man" has protected you from financial harm. You wouldn't be the first or the last to post that suddenly "her man" found someone else and she was outside with no place to live because everything was in his name.

And I trust anyone else who is considering turning 19 and having two children will read this and reconsider.

As far as the father's age - he lied about that. You never noticed he was a deadbeat and a druggie?

No one is picking on you - you posted a question and don't seem willing to accept the answer. In my area the LPN course is very short, something like 8 months, but this may very well be different in other areas.


No. I would not be outside. Rememeber I am only 19. I have amazing family, I would never be outside. I have many places that my family said the doors are always open. I am not stupid here.

I was young, I was only 15. I was going the wrong direction, hanging with the wrong crowd. When I got pregnant... I left that crowd, and turned my life around.

Here, its 2 yrs. Plus 1 yr of upgrading.

There are good reasons why we ask these questions. Its not nosiness, but because we need information to make sure we are providing the best advice. Also, you need to understand that your experiences may help other people. Some people just browse these forums to look for people with a similar situation and may learn from them.

For example, we may have a girl around 16 who just met this seemingly nice boy who wants to have sex with her. This girl may read this thread and think twice about it. She may, at the least, get to know this boy better before she takes that step. By relating your experience, you may help prevent someone from making the same mistakes you did.

And I will state, again, you don't have to have an expensive wedding. You can get married in a civil ceremony for very little money. But the longer you wait to get married, the greater risk you take. If you want to protect yourself and your child, you will make it legal ASAP.

Well me getting pregnant was not a mistake. I love my kids dearly, and if it were
A mistake then I would have thought about abortion, so no, in my situation it was never a mistake or a regret. I may regret the guy who made my first kid, but never regret having my kid.

I am not getting married at 19 sorry.

I'm glad you are moving in the right direction. However, the fact remains the same... if you want your husband to adopt you first have to have a husband. Also as stated you don't have to have a big fancy wedding you can get married for under a hundred bucks at the court house. No one is trying to rush you into something you aren't ready for but like I said for your husband to adopt you have to have a husband.

You pay $2,000 a month for a house and $1,000 a month for a truck? What kind of job does your boyfriend have??

I don't see what the difference between being 19 and being 30 makes. I don't find it to be "rushing into marriage" if you've spent 3 years with this person and want him to adopt your child. Clearly, you see yourself with him long-term...but of course, that's just an assumption.

Because I am not ready to have that "marriage" yet. And when I say him adopting her, I don't mean tomorrow, this was all for future refence not tomorrow.

My boyfriend is a window cleaner LOL. He is a subcontractor, and makes about roughly
200-300 a day. Then works with his dad installing windows/siding/facsia/flooring/coching/doors pretty much everything to build a house
He does with his dad.

I'm glad you are moving in the right direction. However, the fact remains the same... if you want your husband to adopt you first have to have a husband. Also as stated you don't have to have a big fancy wedding you can get married for under a hundred bucks at the court house. No one is trying to rush you into something you aren't ready for but like I said for your husband to adopt you have to have a husband.

Yeah. I know that totally. Everyone replying to this, thinks I wanted him to adopt
My daughter like tomorrow. This was all in the air, for future reference. I want to MAKE sure that I will be with him you know 4 yrs down the road then think about marriage, and then talk more about adoption. Because what happens if I was to take this advice, get married tomorrow, and then end up getting a divorce 2 yrs later because I am only 19. Never know what could come in a few years.

I am not stupid here.

I was young, i was only 15. I was going the wrong direction, hanging with the wrong crowd.

I'm going to ignore that statement and move on to the next one. I'm sure everyone else can see what I do.


And when i say him adopting her, i dont mean tomorrow, this was all for future refence not tomorrow.

Nobody said you were filing for adoption "tomorrow." Like I said earlier, if you want to have him adopt her, you obviously plan on being with him long-term... correct?


Well me getting pregnant was not a mistake.

So... you planned to get pregnant with a 14-year-old drug addict's child? Accidentally getting pregnant doesn't mean that you love your child(ren) any less. It just means that you weren't planning on it.

I'm going to ignore that statement and move on to the next one. I'm sure everyone else can see what I do.



Nobody said you were filing for adoption "tomorrow." Like I said earlier, if you want to have him adopt her, you obviously plan on being with him long-term....correct?



So....you planned to get pregnant with a 14-year-old drug addict's child? Accidentally getting pregnant doesn't mean that you love your child(ren) any less. It just means that you weren't planning on it.


But the way people were talking, it was "get married asap" all I asked was if I needed to be married first... not all this other stuff included.

No I did not plan it. It was unplanned, but does not mean she was A MISTAKE!

But the way people were talking, it was "get married asap" all I asked was if I needed to be married first... not all this other stuff included.

You're not listening. What people said was that you needed to be married before adoption could even be a possibility. You took an offense and assumed they were telling you to get married immediately.


No I did not plan it. It was unplanned, but does not mean she was A MISTAKE!

Again, not listening. I wasn't implying whatsoever that your child is something to be considered wrong or regretted. But the bottom line is that you didn't plan it; there's no way around that. Saying you didn't plan to get pregnant doesn't mean that you don't want, love or cherish your child.

You're not listening. What people said was that you needed to be married before adoption could even be a possibility. You took an offense and assumed they were telling you to get married immediately.



Again, not listening. I wasn't implying whatsoever that your child is something to be considered wrong or regretted. But the bottom line is that you didn't plan it; there's no way around that. Saying you didn't plan to get pregnant doesn't mean that you don't want, love or cherish your child.


EXACTLY! But the other person stated it was a MISTAKE there are two different things.

MISTAKE- YOU Didn't WANT TO HAVE THE BABY
REGRET- YOU WISH IT Didn't HAPPEN
ACCIDENT- IT Happened AND NOW HAVE TO GO ABOUT IT.

EXACTLY! but the other person stated it was a MISTAKE there are two different things.

MISTAKE- YOU DIDNT WANT TO HAVE THE BABY
REGRET- YOU WISH IT DIDNT HAPPEN
ACCIDENT- IT HAPPEND AND NOW HAVE TO GO ABOUT IT.

First of all, you need to stop typing in CAPS lock. That is the equivalent of shouting.

Secondly, I don't know Scott as well as I know other people on this board, but I know him well enough that I can tell you when he referred to your "mistakes" he didn't mean your child. He meant becoming involved with a druggie, having sex at such a young age, and possibly even becoming pregnant so young. But he did not mean that your child was a mistake.

Also, mistake is defined as "an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc."
Mistake Definition | Definition of Mistake at Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mistake)
Nowhere does that mean that you didn't want your child.

Just calm down a bit; everyone here is trying to help you.

EXACTLY! but the other person stated it was a MISTAKE there are two different things.

MISTAKE- YOU DIDNT WANT TO HAVE THE BABY
REGRET- YOU WISH IT DIDNT HAPPEN
ACCIDENT- IT HAPPEND AND NOW HAVE TO GO ABOUT IT.

Adoption must give me a completely different perspective from you on this.

MISTAKE--you didn't PLAN a pregnancy--you got pregnant "by mistake".
REGRET--you wish you could change how you did something or said something, not that you wish it didn't happen. I regret that I couldn't raise my daughter. I don't wish I'd never gotten pregnant.
ACCIDENT--again, something you didn't plan. That doesn't mean the consequences of it aren't good, though. The microwave oven was discovered "on accident".

First of all, you need to stop typing in CAPS lock. That is the equivalent of shouting.

Secondly, I don't know Scott as well as I know other people on this board, but I know him well enough that I can tell you when he referred to your "mistakes" he didn't mean your child. He meant becoming involved with a druggie, having sex at such a young age, and possibly even becoming pregnant so young. But he did not mean that your child was a mistake.

Also, mistake is defined as "an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc."
Mistake Definition | Definition of Mistake at Dictionary.com (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/mistake)
Nowhere does that mean that you didn't want your child.

Just calm down a bit; everyone here is trying to help you.

You know what happened in my life, I learned from. It was amazing I became pregnant so young because it made me realize wow I was off to a bad start and it turned my life around into getting something good of it. And he was into the weed and the partying, I never have touched drugs, and I was young didn't know much, and getting pregnant young is not always bad, it all depends on who you are, and if you can do it. I saved up a lot of money when I was pregnant, worked a full time job, after my first was born, I saved 7000 dollars (as I was still at home and not having to pay nothing) all my paychecks went to my dads saving account so I didn't spend it. Then when she was born, I went back to school, and graduated of 09 jan. But in general its not a good thing to become pregnant at 15.

I was giving an example of a mistake. You know when parents are mad they say "you were a mistake i didnt want you" that is what I was relating it to as to I am not like that.

Adoption must give me a completely different perspective from you on this.

MISTAKE--you didn't PLAN a pregnancy--you got pregnant "by mistake".
REGRET--you wish you could change how you did something or said something, not that you wish it didn't happen. I regret that I couldn't raise my daughter. I don't wish I'd never gotten pregnant.
ACCIDENT--again, something you didn't plan. That doesn't mean the consequences of it aren't good, though. The microwave oven was discovered "on accident".

But I don't regret nothing, all I regret is the guy I had sex with. I wish it was not a deadbeat (I didn't no at the time) and someone who would have been there, but me getting pregnant was not a regret at all, as it turned me into a decent person. I can raise my child well. She is the smartest I have MET. She just turned 3. She knows alphebet, count to 20, all her colors, sings all the kids songs, knows all her shapes including hexagon pentagon, she knows her my cell number in case something goes wrong, she talks like you and I, so if you were stating I regret that I can't raise her, your wrong.

But i dont regret nothing, all i regret is the guy i had sex with. I wish it was not a deadbeat (i didnt no at the time) and someone who would have been there, but me getting pregnant was not a regret at all, as it turned me into a decent person. I can raise my child well. She is the smartest i have MET. She just turned 3. She knows alphebet, count to 20, all her colors, sings all the kids songs, knows all her shapes including hexagon pentagon, she knows her my cell number in case something goes wrong, she talks like you and i, so if you were stating i regret that i can't raise her, your wrong.

You misunderstood. Synnen placed her daughter for adoption, which is why she said she regrets not being able to raise her daughter. She was not referring to you.

You misunderstood. Synnen placed her daughter for adoption, which is why she said she regrets not being able to raise her daughter. She was not referring to you.

Oh, Oops!! I feel bad now, I did totally mis read that!!

Oh, Oops!!! I feel bad now, i did totally mis read that!!!!!!

That's why I keep saying you need to calm down. You're taking everything as a personal attack and nobody is attacking you whatsoever.

That's why I keep saying you need to calm down. You're taking everything as a personal attack and nobody is attacking you whatsoever.



Wise advice, indeed - when the OP gets defensive everything else flies out the window and everyone here is a volunteer, doing the best he/she can.

This is WAY out of the Family Law category now.

Maybe OP should move to relationship/adoption board -

Hey now---there's nothing about adoption in here except my comparison about word definitions!

I do think the legal question has been answered, though.