I will be getting married in a few months. He and I have decided we would like only immedite family. We are in our fifties and see no need to have a big wedding. I know this will upset some relatives .But that's what we want. My question is do we send the annoucements before or after. We want to inform friends and realtives that we are only having immediate family and do not want any gifts. Is there a tastful way to do this and not upset aunts and cousins.

Announcements go out after. If you send them before, people are going to wonder why they aren't invited.