My ex and I broke up about 9 months ago. He got his orders for service in Dec and was going to be leaving for basic training 6 states away in Feb. He broke up with me at his parents house the day after he got those orders. His reason was that there was"no spark." There had always been plenty of spark between us both sexually and emotionally. The passion had never been a problem, not even remotely. Through my tears I told him I'd rather be alone than be with someone who can't love me back, especially if the person can't even come up with a legit reason for ending things. I told myself it was because he was leaving and didn't want a long term commitment and I greived and tried to move on.

A month later, I received an email from my ex. (January) He had met someone and he had proposed to her and wanted me to hear it from him that when he got back from basic they would be getting married.

I literally fell to the ground sobbing. It was embarrassing, really, how devistated I was.

I loved this man so much and it wasn't that he didn't want to get married, he just didn't want to marry me. And when I found out the girl he intended on marrying was a 19 year old jobless, carless, high school drop out who lived with her parents, that was just the icing on the cake.

Anyway, he left in February. Their engagement was off by July. He graduated from basic a week later and was given leave to come home for a few weeks.

The night he got back into town, he came to see me. He hugged me like he never wanted to let go. After his welcome home get together he came back to my apartment with his sister and a friend. He couldn't keep his hands off me. He kissed me in front of them both, ran his fingers through my hair. Every time I got up and walked away trying to distance myself he was right behind me. Pulling me closer, kissing me, touching me. I had finally had enough and went to bed. 5 minutes later he was next to me. No spark? Right...
I know I shouldn't have allowed it to happen but we slept together. My feelings had never changed the entire time he was gone... he was the only one I ever wanted to be with anyway. Afterwards, I told him I loved him.

He said he cares about me so so much, and wished he could feel the same for me but just can't.

And I don't understand it. I am so confused and angry with him for his actions and for doing this to me again that I want to write him a letter and tell him once and for all that I am done with him forever. I want to express to him how deeply he has hurt me since this is going to be my last chance to say anything to him and give myself SOME kind of closure. He leaves Monday.

Is it okay to write a letter of closure?

Hello,for me,I would not write the letter.

He has hurt you enough,its time for you to move on,he slept with you because he was horney,that's about it,and he knew how you felt about him.

This guy has broke your heart,came back and stomped around on it...

Say enough! You don't need a letter to get closure,you need to put the past behind you and get on with your life.

What good would a letter do?

He knows what he did,he's not sorry.

Do not waste the stamp on this guy.

Start no contact today and stick with it,if you feel you must write the letter,write everything down and then burn it,don't keep it to read,every time you do you will bring back the feeling of hurt.. burn it.

Kellmybell you are going to do what you want, no matter what we say. You will get closure writing this letter, and get it out, but it the long run it won't accomplish anything. This man sounds like he doesn't know what love is. He took advantage of a situation which you allowed. Your feelings are strong for him, and he says he doesn't feel the same. He basically used you, that's the bottom line. There is someone out there who will love you and respect you. Don't waste your time on him. Move on... good luck.

Cut that piece of sh*t off. He used you and took advantage of you to get himself laid.

This isn't the person you're in love with anymore. Maybe he was never the person you were in love with now that a little truth is laid out for you on what kind of person he really is.

Write the letter, and burn it, he will only laugh at it.

Even though it might be a good idea to actually write the letter you d be doing that for you not for him as he d probably chuck it and not be bothered.so as tal suggests write it then burn it-hold your head up high and thank your lucky stars that this clown s no longer in your life.

Thank you everyone for your responses. And thanks for reading my story. After running into him again last night, I've decided to write a song about it instead and when I win the Grammy for it that'll be enough.

No letter, though I might burn the lyrics once I have it memorized. Ha.

I appreciate the insight. Sometimes when we're hurting we can't see what's really going on in front of us. I know in time I will heal from this and learn from it.

Go for the grammy!good luck!:-)

He came home after basic on leave and hasn't been laid in months. Come on... he was HORNY. You were his release. Sorry... that's the facts.

If you think writing a letter for "closure" is going to help go for it. But be honest with yourself... are you sure this isn't just an excuse to pour your heart out? Little begging and pleading maybe?

Don't do it. Keep your dignity and walk away. Next time he comes sniffing around with his 'little pop gun' tell him you don't roll like that.