kellmybell
Sep 13, 2009, 01:18 PM
My ex and I broke up about 9 months ago. He got his orders for service in Dec and was going to be leaving for basic training 6 states away in Feb. He broke up with me at his parents house the day after he got those orders. His reason was that there was"no spark." There had always been plenty of spark between us both sexually and emotionally. The passion had never been a problem, not even remotely. Through my tears I told him I'd rather be alone than be with someone who can't love me back, especially if the person can't even come up with a legit reason for ending things. I told myself it was because he was leaving and didn't want a long term commitment and I greived and tried to move on.
A month later, I received an email from my ex. (January) He had met someone and he had proposed to her and wanted me to hear it from him that when he got back from basic they would be getting married.
I literally fell to the ground sobbing. It was embarrassing, really, how devistated I was.
I loved this man so much and it wasn't that he didn't want to get married, he just didn't want to marry me. And when I found out the girl he intended on marrying was a 19 year old jobless, carless, high school drop out who lived with her parents, that was just the icing on the cake.
Anyway, he left in February. Their engagement was off by July. He graduated from basic a week later and was given leave to come home for a few weeks.
The night he got back into town, he came to see me. He hugged me like he never wanted to let go. After his welcome home get together he came back to my apartment with his sister and a friend. He couldn't keep his hands off me. He kissed me in front of them both, ran his fingers through my hair. Every time I got up and walked away trying to distance myself he was right behind me. Pulling me closer, kissing me, touching me. I had finally had enough and went to bed. 5 minutes later he was next to me. No spark? Right...
I know I shouldn't have allowed it to happen but we slept together. My feelings had never changed the entire time he was gone... he was the only one I ever wanted to be with anyway. Afterwards, I told him I loved him.
He said he cares about me so so much, and wished he could feel the same for me but just can't.
And I don't understand it. I am so confused and angry with him for his actions and for doing this to me again that I want to write him a letter and tell him once and for all that I am done with him forever. I want to express to him how deeply he has hurt me since this is going to be my last chance to say anything to him and give myself SOME kind of closure. He leaves Monday.
Is it okay to write a letter of closure?
A month later, I received an email from my ex. (January) He had met someone and he had proposed to her and wanted me to hear it from him that when he got back from basic they would be getting married.
I literally fell to the ground sobbing. It was embarrassing, really, how devistated I was.
I loved this man so much and it wasn't that he didn't want to get married, he just didn't want to marry me. And when I found out the girl he intended on marrying was a 19 year old jobless, carless, high school drop out who lived with her parents, that was just the icing on the cake.
Anyway, he left in February. Their engagement was off by July. He graduated from basic a week later and was given leave to come home for a few weeks.
The night he got back into town, he came to see me. He hugged me like he never wanted to let go. After his welcome home get together he came back to my apartment with his sister and a friend. He couldn't keep his hands off me. He kissed me in front of them both, ran his fingers through my hair. Every time I got up and walked away trying to distance myself he was right behind me. Pulling me closer, kissing me, touching me. I had finally had enough and went to bed. 5 minutes later he was next to me. No spark? Right...
I know I shouldn't have allowed it to happen but we slept together. My feelings had never changed the entire time he was gone... he was the only one I ever wanted to be with anyway. Afterwards, I told him I loved him.
He said he cares about me so so much, and wished he could feel the same for me but just can't.
And I don't understand it. I am so confused and angry with him for his actions and for doing this to me again that I want to write him a letter and tell him once and for all that I am done with him forever. I want to express to him how deeply he has hurt me since this is going to be my last chance to say anything to him and give myself SOME kind of closure. He leaves Monday.
Is it okay to write a letter of closure?