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kotaro19
Sep 11, 2009, 09:21 AM
Hi, I'm writing a paper on radical (fundementalist) Islam views of women. I don't know much about Islam but from what little I know, men shoulder the responsibility of leading and taking care of the women right? Sorry, I don't really know how to phrase my questions properly and I don't want to come across as insensitive but if anyone could give me some insights to this, I'll be ever so grateful! >_<

firmbeliever
Sep 11, 2009, 01:10 PM
Hi Kotaro,
You can ask specific questions as it will be easier to help you and I will not be offended since you are inquiring about something you do not understand.

Here are some points you can look through regarding Men & Women.Please ask if you need clarification of specific areas.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/islam/islam-faq-214747.html#post1065524

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/islam/islam-faq-214747.html#post1071090

kotaro19
Sep 11, 2009, 05:00 PM
I think it'll be easier if I just write the question I was given;

Assess radical Islamist (fundamentalist) views on women. Do they really represent a return to fundamentals, or 'pure Islam'- or, to put it another way, the real origins of Islam?


AGAIN! Ever so very very sorry if I offended anyone here. You see, I'm doing a course about gender.

firmbeliever
Sep 11, 2009, 05:04 PM
Kotaro,
I am not offended :).

Did you read the linked posts I gave?

From there ask specific question you will need for your paper, so I can clarify each point in detail.

kotaro19
Sep 11, 2009, 05:19 PM
Yes, I read them. Thank you. They were very informative.

Q1: why are the rules for women so much more stricter than that of men? I mean, men don't necessarily have to cover up do they?

O2: I read somewhere that men are allowed or even supposed to punish their wives (although NO hard and harsh beatings are allowed). Why is that?

Q3: Ok, This is what I heard. About the polygamy, Muhammad told the men to take another wife if they had the means to. That time the men fought right? (Er.. with the non-believers I think.) Many lost their lives leaving many women widowed and children orphaned. So the Muhammad told the men to take more wives so that the women and children are taken care of. Was that the reason Islam allows polygamy?

firmbeliever
Sep 11, 2009, 05:59 PM
Q1: why are the rules for women so much more stricter than that of men? I mean, men dont necessarily have to cover up do they?

Well actually the men were the first to be mentioned in the Quran to lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things.

Quran Surah/Chapter 24 An Nur Ayat/verse 30,31
30. Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things), and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts, etc.). That is purer for them. Verily, All&#226;h is All-Aware of what they do.

31.And say to the believing women that they should lower their gaze and guard their modesty: they should not display their ornaments except what must ordinarily appear thereof; that they should draw their veils over their bosoms and not display their beauty....".

Form of dress for both men and women has guidelines,especially while attending prayer (which is five times everyday at least).

O2: I read somewhere that men are allowed or even supposed to punish their wives (although NO hard and harsh beatings are allowed). Why is that?

Even though it is allowed, these verses and Hadith (prophetic sayings) makes it clear that it is always desirable to be merciful between spouses and that Allah will take account of all our deeds and that we are in the end answerable to Him for all our deeds.

Qur'an Surah 30 Ar Rum ayat 21
21. "And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. "

Hadith - Prophetic saying - narrated by Tirmidhi
"The most perfect of the believers is the best of you in character, and the best of you are those among you who are best to their wives."

Hadith - Prophetic saying- narrated by Abu Dawud and Tirmidhi
"Those who are kind and considerate to Allah's creatures, Allah bestows His kindness and affection on them. Show kindness to the creatures on the earth so that Allah may be kind to you."

Qur'an Surah 4 An Nisa ayat/verse19
"19. O you who believe! You are forbidden to inherit women against their will, and you should not treat them with harshness, that you may take away part of the Mahr[dower] you have given them, unless they commit open illegal sexual intercourse. And live with them honourably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and All&#226;h brings through it a great deal of good. ."

Quran Surah Chapter 4 An Nisa ayat/verse 128,129
128. And if a woman fears cruelty or desertion on her husband's part, there is no sin on them both if they make terms of peace between themselves; and making peace is better. And human inner-selves are swayed by greed. But if you do good and keep away from evil, verily, All&#226;h is Ever Well&#173;Acquainted with what you do."

129. You will never be able to do perfect justice between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them (by giving her more of your time and provision) so as to leave the other hanging (i.e. neither divorced nor married). And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear All&#226;h by keeping away from all that is wrong, then All&#226;h is Ever Oft&#173;Forgiving, Most Merciful."

firmbeliever
Sep 11, 2009, 06:19 PM
Mothers in Islam

Hadith - Bukhari 8.2, Narrated Abu Huraira
A man came to Allah's Apostle and said, "O Allah's Apostle! Who is more entitled to be treated with the best companionship by me?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man said. "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man further said, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your mother." The man asked for the fourth time, "Who is next?" The Prophet said, "Your father."
This Hadith show how important a mother is to a muslim, she is entitled to three times the respect and love one has for the father.

Quran Surah 31 Luqman ayat 14
"And We have enjoined upon man to be good and dutiful to his parents. His mother bore him in weakness upon weakness and hardship upon hardship, and his weaning is in two years. Show gratitude and thanks to Me and to your parents. Unto Me is the final destination."

Quran Surah 41 Ahqaaf ayat 15
"And We have enjoined upon man to be dutiful and kind to his parents. His mother bears him with hardship, and she brings him forth with hardship. And the bearing and weaning of him is thirty months."

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Regarding covering up for both men and women, personally I find that being uncovered as in following the fashions of the world or wearing revealing clothes takes us away from our duty to the Almighty.
Brings unhealthy competition between ladies trying to outdo each other being more beautiful or look better or more well dressed.
By covering up,we realise that the beauty of our bodies is to be shared with our husbands and makes us realise that there are more important spiritual purposes for us to take care of than worrying about what others think of our bodies or our beauty.

Women do wear modern clothes,jeans,t shirts etc in the presence of our husbands,close family members (whom we cannot marry) or female friends.We just cover up while going out in front of other people.

firmbeliever
Sep 11, 2009, 06:50 PM
Q3: Ok, This is what I heard. About the polygamy, Muhammad told the men to take another wife if they had the means to. That time the men fought right? (Er.. with the non-believers I think.) Many lost their lives leaving many women widowed and children orphaned. So the Muhammad told the men to take more wives so that the women and children are taken care of. Was that the reason Islam allows polygamy?

The followers of Islam follow both the Quran (revealed book from Allah) and Sunnah /Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him)'s tradition and sayings.

Islam Question and Answer - Ruling on plural marriage and conditions thereof (http://www.islam-qa.com/en/ref/49044)

Quran Surah 4 An Nisa ayat 3
"3.. . .then marry (other) women of your choice, two or three, or four but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly (with them), then only one or that your right hands possess. That is nearer to prevent you from doing injustice."

And the permissibility of plural marriage is for all times,not just for during the lifetime of the Prophet (peace be upon him).

There have been cases where the wife is unable to bear children,but as both husband and wife do not wish to be seperated but still wishes to have children, the man can remarry a muslim woman and the first wife is not left out of having a family.

I also knew of a woman who was diagnosed with a terminal illness, she chose to find a good muslim woman to marry her husband before she passed away because they had young children and it gave her peace to know that there will be someone to look after them when it was time to die.

One thing to remember is that although polygamy is permitted most muslim men do not choose that because it is a huge responsibility as I first mentioned we are accountable for every justice or injustice we do.
And being fair between wives, financially,emotionally as well as managing time with each of them will be a bit of a hardship to bear.

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The following verse describes the exact status of a muslim, man or woman regarding religious, spiritual status.

Quran Surah 33 Al Ahzab ayat 35
" Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to All&#226;h in Isl&#226;m) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Isl&#226;mic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to All&#226;h), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which All&#226;h has ordered and in abstaining from all that All&#226;h has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord All&#226;h), the men and the women who give Sadaq&#226;t (i.e. Zak&#226;t, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramad&#226;n, and the optional Naw&#226;fil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember All&#226;h much with their hearts and tongues (while sitting, standing, lying, etc.) or praying extra additional Naw&#226;fil prayers of night in the last part of night, etc.) All&#226;h has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise)."

kotaro19
Sep 12, 2009, 08:01 AM
Thank you so much Firmbeliever! That really helped me a lot! >_<

firmbeliever
Sep 12, 2009, 05:20 PM
You are welcome.

Golden_Girl
Sep 16, 2009, 09:41 PM
Firm Believer answered much better than I could, and I will also like to add that polygamy was also practiced in the Old Testament and the Torah as it was a way of life for many. And that the prophet Mohammed (pbuh) lessened it to no more than four wives and that each should be equally treated. Many may not know, but prophet Mohammed (pbuh) was very kind to his wives and he taught that both husband and wife should be kind to one another.

He had stated in the Hadith "Among my followers the best of men are those who are best to their wives, and the best of women are those who are best to their husbands. To each of such women is set down a reward equivalent to the reward of a thousand martyrs. Among my followers, again, the best of women are those who assist their husbands in their work, and love them dearly for everything, save what is a transgression of Allah's laws."

FZ27
Sep 29, 2009, 06:55 AM
Wives in such polygamous marriages did not receive the same amount of love and devotion that a monogamous marriage had to offer and they neither held the same social status that a woman in a monogamous marriage would have. Also the person (male) who engage in polygamy ,he will soon slipped to the level of unlimited sexual life gradually a possible chance to forget spirituality and became more materialistic.. also decreasing sexual hormones in his body by that reduces his longevity and health.another problem is that very difficult to keep unity between among wives- wealth to be reduced to 4 wives and their children's, after the property divide. Also increasing number of children making population high- if you have the power to help a woman then taking them as your sister, not as wife-
Also the person who practicing polygamy if his sudden death happens then all 4 becoming widows and children's to orphans- a group of widows and a group of orphans there- so suddenly, how things manage quickly for these widows and orphans life makes better- very difficult-

From the woman side- polygamy life means ``a Time table ``based life...

Golden_Girl
Sep 29, 2009, 05:05 PM
I would prefer to be my husband's wife and much younger than he is. So he wouldn't have to look for a much younger wife. Some do well with this, and some do not.