VinVinaccia
Sep 10, 2009, 08:50 AM
OK, this is an issue that is really pertinent to my relationship with my girlfriend because she has such a strong bond with her best friend. It is something that has broken us up for a couple days, and no matter how much I try to ignore the issue it is a reoccurring thought that haunts me day in and day out.
About a year ago my girlfriend and I went out to a party along with a trio of her closest friends. I had a blast until a few things started happening. Well, first of all this was the night my girlfriend chose to confess her love to me. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me as long as possible. It meant a lot to me as I confessed the same feelings at that moment. After our wonderful talk, we headed back inside to dance. She started dancing with her closest friends as I danced along. Suddenly, without provocation or cause, my GF started kissing her best friend as they danced together. I was a little thrown off, but as it was a party and we were all having fun I just carried on. In her defense, she was really really drunk. (her friend wasn't). Then, they kissed some more. About 3 kisses took place on that dance floor. I had too much so I dragged my girlfriend to a plastic chair outside so I could talk to her. It was at that moment that her best friend followed us out. I sat in the chair, my girlfriend sat in my lap, and her best friend came out of no where and straddled my baby and they started making out. It was one of the most passionate kisses I've ever seen, and only seldom had I ever kissed my girlfriend with as much passion as they had. After the kiss my GF threw up all over the floor as her 'bestie' and I cared to her.
The day after was a day of confusion for me. I was unaware of this relationship and I was full of questions that needed answering. I found out that this was the 'only time' they had ever done anything like that. However, they share the same bed at night when they have sleepovers, they shower together, they bathe together, and they are almost as intimate as I am with her. I am my girlfriends first boyfriend and before me it was just the two of them. Both girls deny a lesbian relationship as they both seem to be interested in guys. In fact, they have a large list of guys they have hooked up with between the two of them, but somehow they were always together when they would hook up with guys.
So that's the backstory. I told her I'd be OK with the relationship as long as the sleeping in bed and showering together ended. She argued a very emotional argument trying to hold on to showering privelages based on asinine claims like 'saving water' and 'time efficiency'. I told her absolutely not. Well, a year later the bed rule has been thrown out the window as they continue to sleep together when my GF goes to visit her for weekends. I have no idea if they do or do not shower together. I have no idea what goes on! I am terribly confused as I've caught her in lies and cover ups before. For instance, I recently found out from her little brother that he has seen the two girls "make out on several occasions". I asked her straight up, has there ever been a sexual relationship between you and that girl. She denied it, yet at the same time she displayed the signs of lying as her face became distorted and her upper lip started to twitch. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it makes me uncomfortable.
In closing, I honestly love her with all my heart but I feel she has a much stronger relationship with her 'bestie'. Her best friend will never be out of the picture, and it has since surfaced that if a fight broke out between her best friend and myself, she would side with her best friend. So, please I need input. They are both young and if they are gay, neither of them are comfortable coming out. My GF does want to be with, and I with her but I worry about the future. In 20 years, will this be a problem? Should I marry into this mess, or should I start backing out? Do you consider this pre-coming-out lesbian behavior? What do you think?
-Concerned boyfriend-
About a year ago my girlfriend and I went out to a party along with a trio of her closest friends. I had a blast until a few things started happening. Well, first of all this was the night my girlfriend chose to confess her love to me. She told me she loved me and wanted to be with me as long as possible. It meant a lot to me as I confessed the same feelings at that moment. After our wonderful talk, we headed back inside to dance. She started dancing with her closest friends as I danced along. Suddenly, without provocation or cause, my GF started kissing her best friend as they danced together. I was a little thrown off, but as it was a party and we were all having fun I just carried on. In her defense, she was really really drunk. (her friend wasn't). Then, they kissed some more. About 3 kisses took place on that dance floor. I had too much so I dragged my girlfriend to a plastic chair outside so I could talk to her. It was at that moment that her best friend followed us out. I sat in the chair, my girlfriend sat in my lap, and her best friend came out of no where and straddled my baby and they started making out. It was one of the most passionate kisses I've ever seen, and only seldom had I ever kissed my girlfriend with as much passion as they had. After the kiss my GF threw up all over the floor as her 'bestie' and I cared to her.
The day after was a day of confusion for me. I was unaware of this relationship and I was full of questions that needed answering. I found out that this was the 'only time' they had ever done anything like that. However, they share the same bed at night when they have sleepovers, they shower together, they bathe together, and they are almost as intimate as I am with her. I am my girlfriends first boyfriend and before me it was just the two of them. Both girls deny a lesbian relationship as they both seem to be interested in guys. In fact, they have a large list of guys they have hooked up with between the two of them, but somehow they were always together when they would hook up with guys.
So that's the backstory. I told her I'd be OK with the relationship as long as the sleeping in bed and showering together ended. She argued a very emotional argument trying to hold on to showering privelages based on asinine claims like 'saving water' and 'time efficiency'. I told her absolutely not. Well, a year later the bed rule has been thrown out the window as they continue to sleep together when my GF goes to visit her for weekends. I have no idea if they do or do not shower together. I have no idea what goes on! I am terribly confused as I've caught her in lies and cover ups before. For instance, I recently found out from her little brother that he has seen the two girls "make out on several occasions". I asked her straight up, has there ever been a sexual relationship between you and that girl. She denied it, yet at the same time she displayed the signs of lying as her face became distorted and her upper lip started to twitch. Maybe I'm reading too much into it but it makes me uncomfortable.
In closing, I honestly love her with all my heart but I feel she has a much stronger relationship with her 'bestie'. Her best friend will never be out of the picture, and it has since surfaced that if a fight broke out between her best friend and myself, she would side with her best friend. So, please I need input. They are both young and if they are gay, neither of them are comfortable coming out. My GF does want to be with, and I with her but I worry about the future. In 20 years, will this be a problem? Should I marry into this mess, or should I start backing out? Do you consider this pre-coming-out lesbian behavior? What do you think?
-Concerned boyfriend-