I have custody of my 3 girls . My ex now wants custody of the girls . Because he has just now after 12 years of separation and divorce gotten himself a home . Now he has to pay his mortgage and utilities . He wants custody (I feel) so that he doesn't have to pay child support anymore . I have had the girls all of their lives , taken them to school , doctors app. picked them up and took them to work with me when they were sick . I've been there let's just say that ! He has not been there the whole time . When we first split up there were times he didn't shw up for a month solid or even cared to call the girls . Here in the past 5 years . He has done a descent job of paying child support , and with visitation . Our girls tried to live with him but the older 2 15 and 16 decided to move back with me . He has anger issues , domestic violence on his record , from me and his ex girlfriend after he and I split up . My oldest daughter found pot in his glove box about a year ago . Then his sister cam down to visit a friend and stayed at my ex's place . She asked first her nephew to ride with her so the could drive around and smoke pot . He said no and went outside to get away from her . Then she proceeded to my oldest daughter to ask her the same question ! My daughter told her no , and went outside also to get away from her . THEN , they all went to the Aunt's friends house , for a pool party . The friends son was in the kitchen . My daughter walked in and said "is that smell what I think it is ?" He said probably . My daughter asks "does my Aunt smoke it also ?" He said my Mom and your aunt have been friends for 30 years what do you think ? So that is another instance with pot . My ex had a problem with it when we were married . He denied the pot in the glovebox was his . That he "was just holding it for a friend" . Yeah right ! Who on here thinks that he could get custody of the girls ? Just 3weeks ago when the older girls decided to move back with me . He got so mad he physically assaulted my vehicle and cussed me out with the BIG WORDS . A man uses in front of his children and the mother of his children . So who thinks he has a chance to get the girls . I am a stay at home Mom who is always here . Cooks meals and we eat together at the table and go to Church together . Let me know .

What do you want to know? For your ex to get full custody he will have to prove to a family court judge that you are an unfit mother and that he can be a better parent. From what you have told us, that ain't going to happen.

So you tell him to file. Tell him you have every confidence that no judge in their right mind is going to award him full custody. At best, he might get partial custody, but I doubt even that.

What is joint custody?
Joint custody has two parts: joint legal custody and joint physical custody. A joint custody order can have one or both parts.
Joint legal custody refers to both parents sharing the major decisions affecting the child, which can include school, health care and religious training. Other considerations under these types of custody agreements can include: extracurricular activities, summer camp, age for dating or getting a job, and methods of discipline.
Joint physical custody refers to the time spent with each parent. The amount of time is flexible, and can range from a moderate period of time for one parent, such as every other weekend, to a child dividing the time equally between the two parents' homes. In situations where the time spent with both parents will be divided equally, it helps if the parents live close to one another. See table with State Laws Regarding Joint Custody. (http://www.abanet.org/family/familylaw/FLQWin05custodychart.pdf)
Source: Atkinson, Jeff, The American Bar Association Guide to Family Law, 1996.

If all that you've said on here is true and you can prove it, then he doesn't have a snowball's chance in hell of getting custody of your girls. Be prepared to prove it. Have independent witnesses who are willing to testify to his violence and drug use.