View Full Version : Dealing with it meaning nothing
4answers
Sep 3, 2009, 08:57 PM
Ever had an ex who acted like they were well into you, only for you to find that in reality it mean nothing to them...
Why lie, why just not be honest.
Relationships end: If it meant something that is now gone be honest about that, why treat it like it meant nothing, no value and cause bad feelings...
That defies all reason??
Scleros
Sep 3, 2009, 09:44 PM
That defies all reason ????
Not really. It can be a form of denial or coping mechanism. It is easier to stop caring about something and put it behind you if its existence is denied or the attitude is taken that it didn't matter. Also, unless you practice dumping beforehand to be a "good" dumper or have broken up with lots of people and received significant negative reinforcement for your methods, there is usually no motivation to become a good dumper and so most folks are lousy at it.
amicon
Sep 3, 2009, 11:34 PM
Some people bury their heads in the sand and pretend they re not hurting or don't care.scleros is right it's a coping mechanism.
friend4u178
Sep 3, 2009, 11:40 PM
I've always found it's the best way to suppress ones guilt , out of sight out of mind.
A lot of times it doesn't mean they never cared , its just an easier way to deal with it.
I wish
Sep 4, 2009, 06:06 AM
Telling the truth isn't always the easier thing to do. There are many reasons to sugar coat or lie about certain things.
But there's no reason for you to be angry at that person. That's the way they choose to explain themselves, accept and move on. You can't control the actions of others, but you can control the way you accept the answers.
You can't force someone to say something they don't want, just like someone shouldn't be forcing you to say something that you don't want to say.
talaniman
Sep 4, 2009, 06:30 AM
You never know the motives or feelings of another after a relationship ends. But that's why you broke up, because some ones feelings have changed, for whatever reason.