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View Full Version : Need your opinions on a letter to become an eagle scout


sGt HarDKorE
Sep 2, 2009, 08:16 PM
I am in the final stages of becoming an eagle scout an I have to write a short essay. Do you mind checking it for any major errors? Do I answer the question fully? I'd ask a family member, but I get embarrassed when close people read things about me, so thanks in advance! The question I'm answering is:

"Type a statement of your ambitions and life purpose, including a paragraph or two telling about the poitions you have held in your religious institution, school, camp, community, or other organizations during which you demonstrated leadership skills. "

As I begin to fill out job applications, college applications, and scholarship applications, I am continuously being asked: where do I want to go in life, and how have I tried to get myself on the right track to complete my goals. At first glance, I think to myself, I do not know what to write here as I have not done anything heroic or achieved anything that is worthy of mentioning. However, as I think about my childhood and experiences, numerous things come to mind. My life purpose is to become a police officer and to help people in need. Since the age of 6, I remember telling my parents’ that I will be a future law enforcer. Many kids change their ideal profession as they grow older, I did not. I hope to one day be promoted to canine unit, and then from there be invited to join the Federal Bureau of Investigations.

I am taking difficult courses in school so that I will be prepared to become a police officer. Many students take the easy way through high school, taking easy classes, whether it is to get higher grades or less homework. I on the other hand, take the difficult classes so that I can compete with other students who want to succeed in life.

Leadership is a key characteristic in an Eagle Scout or in anyone who wants to succeed, and I feel I have exhibited this characteristic numerously. From saying no to drugs to paying my own bills, I feel that I exhibit leadership. Instead of being a follower, I do as I want in order to achieve my goals. Last year I was a member of driven club, teen court, worked at big boy, and participated in Skills USA this year all while maintaining a 3.4 GPA. Instead of being just someone in the backgrounds, I was a lawyer in teen court and had to defend an actual person who committed an actual crime. With Skills USA, I was a police officer part of a CSI team and had to do as a real CSI team would do. Although we failed to make it to nationals, we did succeed in making it to regionals.

Furthermore, I often show leadership with issues that arise in the family. When we are short on money, I give money to purchase food or gas. When something needs to be done, such as organizing the basement, or cleaning the kitchen, I step up to the task.
I feel everyone has an experience or motto they live by, and I try to live by one motto which is doing at least one good deed daily. Sometimes it is something as big as returning a purse to someone or giving my old clothes to a stranger. To simply helping a fellow student pick up their supplies that they dropped on the way to class.

titan101
Sep 2, 2009, 10:27 PM
Too many I's in this essay. Essay's are not supposed to have I's in them, so you can replace them with something else, also the intro needs to be shorter, and much more concise. Other than that this essay is pretty good.

Silverfoxkit
Sep 2, 2009, 10:34 PM
I had my husband look over it real quick, who is an eagle scout, and he said it looked fine to him. The people you send it to aren't terribly harsh about it. At least that's what he said. I don't know if that's of any help to you.