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View Full Version : What's my next move?


McKay42
Aug 31, 2009, 05:48 PM
So let me start this by saying Im horrible at dating. I have only dated a handful of girls and I am 23. I had one serious relationship that was on and off for years, but it started in high school and didn't really teach me much about dating.

So I just started law school and the week before orientation I met this girl that I really felt like I clicked with. Against my nature, I summoned the courage to ask her to out. She said yes and we went on what I think was a great first date (lunch date). We already had plans later that night with a larger group of friends so we hung out together a lot that night. Before the night was over, she asked me what I was doing this weekend and I took that as a hint to plan a second date so we did.

Two days later, orientation started and we spent the next two days sitting next to each other for many many hours in the most boring, but professional, environment. The first day I did my best to mingle with people and not hang around her too much, however the second day I think I was a little clingy.

We then both got swamped with school work and when I mentioned our date to confirm it, she said we should push it off to next weekend. I completely agreed as I really needed to get my work done too.

A few of our mutual friends were going to the library yesterday to study so I texted her and told her she should join us. She did, however she felt distant and it really confused me. Today I saw her in passing a few times and sensed the same distance when we talked. Now I am trying to figure out my next move. She is a shy girl and I am afraid of scaring her off by being too aggressive.

By nature, when I meet a new girl I go overboard because time is moving slower in my head. I have only known this girl for about 13 days, but of those 13 I have seen her 8 of them. Only one day was a date, the rest was more formal.

So what should my next move be?

helpmepleaseee
Sep 1, 2009, 12:09 AM
I think that you should definitely calm down just a little bit. It doesn't sound like you are being too pushy and the fact that you are aware that you tend to be pushy is a good sign, if you just keep an eye on yourself you should be okay. I know how you feel, you don't want to be aggressive but you want to make sure she knows you're still interested. Just keep your cool and you should be fine.

Jake2008
Sep 1, 2009, 03:12 AM
I think you have a golden opportunity here.

You like her, she likes you. Most of the time spent together is with people of mutual interests, and she is getting to know that side of you.

With her being shy, she is likely more comfortable in a group of people, and not under any pressure to set herself up with definite plans and committment- just yet.

If you don't push, she will see that as you being confident in your own right, and you are also being respectul of her space.

Eventually she will know you as someone she can trust, and you can build on what you have already learned about each other.

Wait until there is a dance scheduled, or a party or event at school, and ask her for that second date then and see what happens.

I wish
Sep 1, 2009, 09:50 AM
Sounds like you're over-analyzing too much. Focus on talking to her and getting to know her better. You've only know her for 2 weeks, decrease your expectations of her. She has no obligation to be super fun every time she sees and talks to you.

You can't control her actions, but you can control yours. So focus on having a good time with her and talking to her more. Go with the flow.