Scout X
Aug 29, 2009, 11:10 AM
Hello everyone, this is my first time posting here, but have read a lot of the advice that people give here in the past! So now it's my turn to ask a question.
Please excuse the length and I'll try to answer any further questions if I missed anything or made it overly confusing.
I started working a temporary student job (will end in 9mo) at our college and work with 2 females. For the last two weeks I’ve worked full time and saw one girl in the morning and one at night. I became very attracted to the latter girl. After getting to know that girl for about a week I decided to ask her out to dinner to which she said yes with a smile, but due to her having a busy schedule we said we would discuss when we would go the following week. Note: (When school starts on the 31st our overlapping hours will be minimal, so it’s not like this is a 40hr a week job mixed with personal feelings.)
Two days later I found out that I wouldn’t see her for the next 5 days (Sorry if this is getting confusing). So I decided to ask her about when she would have time the next week. As soon as I asked about it she let me know that the other girl liked me, and that she was supposed to talk to me for her. I don’t have that kind of interest in the other girl. I told her that and then said that I’d really just like to go on a date with you. Then she told me her dilemma of not wanting to upset her friend by going out with me. And then on top of that she said she had just gotten out of a bad relationship (which she had told me about) and didn’t really think it was a good idea to get back into anything serious or that would distract her from school.
From this point I probably said some stupid things to try and keep her original answer. I asked if SHE wanted to still go out. I told her I liked how we both had the same interests. I said I’d just like to hear “yes” or “no”. And also said that I viewed it two ways, either we keep to what we originally said or I can back off (which she said sounded mean, I didn’t mean it to though). All of this wasn’t said in a row, but throughout our talk. But she just kept responding with “I don’t know what to say” and “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me right now”. She never told me straight out “no.”
As we left work she was telling me that it’s not really because of me because I’m a nice guy, but referred back to her situation as the problem. She asked me if I would change my mind about dating the other girl and I said no, and I replied “But if you change your mind!” and she said something to the extent of ‘Things could changed in the future, but I don’t want to be specific and tell you 1 month because I don’t know how I’d feel at that time.” So we said a friendly bye and waved and went on our ways.
To answer possible questions: I’m 23 and the other girl wasn’t present for any of this kind of talk.
My question: Would asking her in down the road, let’s say a month, be wise? We shared a lot of similar interests, she’s very nice/caring, and I find her extremely attractive. But I don’t know if I should stop showing interest and just accept this as a “no” and move on or if I should hang on and ask later because she did say yes at first. What should I do in the meantime? I keep over analyzing everything I do in front of her because I still want to make a good impression.
I realize that there’s a million fish in the sea, but when you cut it down to who you connect with, find interesting, and find attractive – I’d like to not pass that up.
Thanks for any input into this butchered story :P
Please excuse the length and I'll try to answer any further questions if I missed anything or made it overly confusing.
I started working a temporary student job (will end in 9mo) at our college and work with 2 females. For the last two weeks I’ve worked full time and saw one girl in the morning and one at night. I became very attracted to the latter girl. After getting to know that girl for about a week I decided to ask her out to dinner to which she said yes with a smile, but due to her having a busy schedule we said we would discuss when we would go the following week. Note: (When school starts on the 31st our overlapping hours will be minimal, so it’s not like this is a 40hr a week job mixed with personal feelings.)
Two days later I found out that I wouldn’t see her for the next 5 days (Sorry if this is getting confusing). So I decided to ask her about when she would have time the next week. As soon as I asked about it she let me know that the other girl liked me, and that she was supposed to talk to me for her. I don’t have that kind of interest in the other girl. I told her that and then said that I’d really just like to go on a date with you. Then she told me her dilemma of not wanting to upset her friend by going out with me. And then on top of that she said she had just gotten out of a bad relationship (which she had told me about) and didn’t really think it was a good idea to get back into anything serious or that would distract her from school.
From this point I probably said some stupid things to try and keep her original answer. I asked if SHE wanted to still go out. I told her I liked how we both had the same interests. I said I’d just like to hear “yes” or “no”. And also said that I viewed it two ways, either we keep to what we originally said or I can back off (which she said sounded mean, I didn’t mean it to though). All of this wasn’t said in a row, but throughout our talk. But she just kept responding with “I don’t know what to say” and “I don’t think it’s a good idea for me right now”. She never told me straight out “no.”
As we left work she was telling me that it’s not really because of me because I’m a nice guy, but referred back to her situation as the problem. She asked me if I would change my mind about dating the other girl and I said no, and I replied “But if you change your mind!” and she said something to the extent of ‘Things could changed in the future, but I don’t want to be specific and tell you 1 month because I don’t know how I’d feel at that time.” So we said a friendly bye and waved and went on our ways.
To answer possible questions: I’m 23 and the other girl wasn’t present for any of this kind of talk.
My question: Would asking her in down the road, let’s say a month, be wise? We shared a lot of similar interests, she’s very nice/caring, and I find her extremely attractive. But I don’t know if I should stop showing interest and just accept this as a “no” and move on or if I should hang on and ask later because she did say yes at first. What should I do in the meantime? I keep over analyzing everything I do in front of her because I still want to make a good impression.
I realize that there’s a million fish in the sea, but when you cut it down to who you connect with, find interesting, and find attractive – I’d like to not pass that up.
Thanks for any input into this butchered story :P