hope9816
Aug 28, 2009, 02:59 AM
I've come to realize that I have been depressed for a very long time... and I've known it. Deep inside I've known Im not shy or awkard but there's always been an inner wall that keeps me from going from being me and lately its gotten worse. Its just I don't want to feel this way. I feel as if Im trapped. No matter how hard I try to smile I can't and no matter how many people I make smile or bring joy into their lives I can't seem to bring joy to myself. I've had no tramatic experiences in my life. I come from a good family so why do I feel like crying all the time ! Lately its gotton worst. I've cut contacts with everyone, I stopped believing in god, I stopped caring in everything and everyone/ I've gain weight, I can't stop this overwhelming cloud of hopelessness... I'm giving up. I don't want to die but I don't want to live like this. I try asking for help, I know I need it but my attempts are feeble and no one seems to believe me... no one seems to think I'm dying inside. No one sees that girl that cries during passing periods, the one that can't sleep , I managed to fool everyone but myself...