I recently got full custody of my son. I don't want his mother to have to pay child support. She's severely mentally ill, in and out of psych hospitals, no way she could hold a job even with medication (and she's tried them all). Shortly after my son was born she left us and went to live with her family in Canada (My son and I are in Texas). She lives with her mother in one room in a rooming house, and they support themselves on the little bit of welfare money they get.

I made it clear to my attorney that I didn't want her to have any child support obligations, so in the Final Order of the SAPCR she put a bit in there saying that, and that the mother was severely mentally ill and can't afford to pay child support. After that part she put all of the stuff about child support that I think is required by Texas law, and explained that judges sometimes insisted on awarding child support.

We got a default judgement because she didn't come down from Canada. The judge read over the Final Order and said he wasn't going to make any judgment about her mental illness, and marked out the part about me not wanting her to have to pay.

Is there anything I can do about that? Her child support obligation comes to almost half of what the government gives her every month; she couldn't pay it and I would feel awful even letting her know that she was supposed to pay it.

If I can get that taken care of by going before a judge on my own, I'd really rather do it that way. My attorney is expensive and I really don't like her for several reasons. I gave her many papers documenting my girlfriend's stays in the mental hospital, her diagnoses, and that CPS ordered her to not be left alone with our son - but she didn't bring any of that up to the judge.

I don't know how well child support is enforced, and I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be enforced at all while she's in Canada, but she and her mom do plan to make extended trips to Texas when they're able to - I'd so hate for her to get into any trouble for not paying child support. And I assured her when I first filed the lawsuit that I wouldn't make her pay.

What can I do?

Honestly, if you don't insist upon it being enforced, it very likely won't especially with her being out of the country. The CEA is very overworked and if you don't care about it, neither will they.

Also, if she did come for an extended stay in Texas (and she will, sooner or later) there's a very good chance of her having some involvement with the police. She's been taken to the mental hospital twice by them in the 6 months she's been in Canada, once in handcuffs (she was more heavily sedated and I was with her at all times when she was in Texas). And she wasn't even caught for her shoplifting habit, which has seriously blossomed since she's been there. I'm sure it helps that she doesn't have a SSN or a driver's license, but is it possible for the cops to know she owes huge amounts of back child support? Would they care?

(I worry because I knew a woman who was jailed for a month for failure to pay. But the person was actively seeking the money and complaining about it in that case.).

Again, if you aren't complaining, no one is looking. Child support is civil so unless you are pressing, the police have no idea support is even a question when it comes to criminal.

Thanks : )

The police only get involved in arrears when its by court order.. i.e. a judge sends out a warrant for arrest. Otherwse it has nothing to do with them.

And you should get a judgement for child support because child support collected or not is for the child's benefit. Take this for an example: Lets say you get a judgement and never enforce it. She on a whim 10 years down the road buys a lottery ticket and wins the big one. Something like that might allow her to go through college without struggle. Or possibly later you decide to remarry. And your new spouse wants to adopt your child. Having massive arrears may make things easier.