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jws1989
Aug 25, 2009, 10:40 AM
Edited- https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html)

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 10 months now. Before this relationship I was in two others both two years long, they both cheated on me and all that fun stuff so I was always jealous and up there asses. When I met the guy I am dating now it was all different and the past 10 months have been better than both of the previous. I know I have a problem with giving him his space he recently moved back to school which is only 20 minutes away so its like he never left its only a short drive to get there. Over the past weekend I felt like he didn't want me around but didn't say anything and he didn't say anything to me about it. So Monday I apologized because I realized I was probably smothering him... the problem is that I really try hard to control myself but sometimes I just cant. I have talked to him about it because it has happened one other time a few months ago and he understood. Well since it happened again he is a little more frustrated about it and I honestly was a little scared but I did text him and told him I wanted to talk about it and work things out because he deserves it and he did text back and said well I deserve it too... I'm still scared our relationship is on the rocks but I'm not sure if it is what to do??

jhip9858
Aug 25, 2009, 12:51 PM
You love him but give him some space but he should won't to spend time with you to. If he wonts too much space then maybe you should reconsider if you should be with you.

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/no-chat-speak-no-text-talk-303157.html

jws1989
Aug 25, 2009, 01:36 PM
I know I need to give him space the way he put it is he wants to miss me but he can't because I'm around too often and its not that he doesn't want to spend time with me because he does its just he can't miss me if I'm there all the time. So I am pretty sure on what I obviously need to do... not be around so much and hang out with my friends more

talaniman
Aug 25, 2009, 02:33 PM
That is a good idea.

jws1989
Aug 26, 2009, 09:30 AM
I talked to him today and the reason he was avoiding me is because he isn't comfortable with being affectionate in front of his friends which I totally understand because there is a time and place to act like that and sometimes when you are affectionate in front of people it makes them uncomfortable

jhip9858
Aug 26, 2009, 09:43 AM
As long as he will hold your hand in front of friends then your good but if he doesn't won't to show any affection it could be that he's keeping u secret.

CrazyThumper
Aug 27, 2009, 08:20 AM
Back off a bit.. I know how he feels from past relationships. Most guys love spending time with their girls but if they are around 24/7, call 24/7, txt 24/7, email etc we're like "Ugh!!" And I'm sure this goes for females as well... when a guy smothers them.

What happens then is when we do talk/see you there is nothing to talk about because we talk to you in SOME way every hour of the day lol. This goes back to making sure you have your OWN life and your OWN hobbies. You should be happy doing other things on your own without relying on your boyfriend for your entertainment all the time.

Don't be scared to talk to him about it-- communication is key, but learn from this and don't keep making the same mistakes if it isn't working for the two of you.

Thumper

I wish
Aug 27, 2009, 10:53 AM
I want to add that 10 months isn't a long time. Instead of worrying about being needy, just focus on enjoying the time that you spend together.

You also need a better communication system. If he's busy, he should let you know and then you leave him alone, and vice versa.

Here's another option for you to consider. Set up times that you will see each other. Then just look forward to those times, instead of trying to find him randomly. When you plan time to see each other, the anticipation is great.