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View Full Version : Damn Those Women Drivers!


RickJ
Aug 21, 2009, 08:40 AM
This morning on the freeway I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac - with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup!

As a man I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver from one hand, which knocked the donut out of my other hand!

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out my car, using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear - which fell into the hot coffee that was between my legs.

It splashed and burned Big Willie and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers and disconnected an important call!

Damn those women drivers!

J_9
Aug 21, 2009, 08:45 AM
Phone isn't ruined. Soak it in some dry rice to get the liquid out... There one problem solved. LOL

tomder55
Aug 21, 2009, 10:03 AM
Soon there will be an equivalent of a blue tooth for all those functions that distract us from focusing on the driving . We will all look like Borgs ;but it will fix the problem .
http://peterdarling.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/2008/01/23/borg.jpg

tkrussell
Aug 21, 2009, 10:14 AM
Big Willy and the Twins...


Normally I would say, "Yea Right, This I got to see to believe",

But on second thought, never mind.

ETWolverine
Aug 21, 2009, 10:51 AM
This morning on the freeway I looked over to my left and there was a Woman in a brand new Cadillac - with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.

I looked away for a couple seconds and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane still working on that makeup!

As a man I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much that I dropped my electric shaver from one hand, which knocked the donut out of my other hand!

In all the confusion of trying to straighten out my car, using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear - which fell into the hot coffee that was between my legs.

It splashed and burned Big Willie and the Twins, ruined the phone, soaked my trousers and and disconnected an important call!

Damn those women drivers!

You know, you can sue the McDonalds that sold you the coffee for $10 million, and win.

You could also sue the cell phone company for making a phone that would cause such a big splash (I'm taking your word for how big Big Willie actually is), and the donut maker for making donuts that aren't sticky enough to stay in your hand while your car is swerving.

And you should sue the car maker for not making a steering wheel with better knee control.

Not sure what you should sue the shaver manufacturer for... but hey, they were party to the incident.

As for women drivers... yeah, I agree. None of them belong behind the wheel.

http://www.indymotorspeedway.com/images/danica06.jpg Danica Patrick


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2f/AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg/400px-AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2f/AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg) Ashley Force

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg/450px-Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg) Mendy Fry

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/19/Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg/363px-Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/19/Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg) Angelle Sampey

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ce/ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg/200px-ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg) Erin Crocker

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/80/LeilaniCloseUp.jpg/436px-LeilaniCloseUp.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/80/LeilaniCloseUp.jpg)Leilani Munter


Elliot

N0help4u
Aug 21, 2009, 09:39 PM
The way I see it is sue the coffee and if the razor cut you sue them too, but the eyeliner gal NOPE you can't sue her.

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 01:05 AM
You know, you can sue the McDonalds that sold you the coffee for $10 million, and win.

You could also sue the cell phone company for making a phone that would cause such a big splash (I'm taking your word for how big Big Willie actually is), and the donut maker for making donuts that aren't sticky enough to stay in your hand while your car is swerving.

And you should sue the car maker for not making a steering wheel with better knee control.

Not sure what you should sue the shaver manufacturer for... but hey, they were party to the incident.

As for women drivers... yeah, I agree. None of them belong behind the wheel.

http://www.indymotorspeedway.com/images/danica06.jpg Danica Patrick


http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/2/2f/AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg/400px-AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2f/AshleyForceSEMA2007.jpg) Ashley Force

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6f/Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg/450px-Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/6f/Mendyfry-futureflash-fitting.jpg) Mendy Fry

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/1/19/Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg/363px-Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/1/19/Angelle_Sampey_on_Bike.jpg) Angelle Sampey

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/c/ce/ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg/200px-ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:ErinCrockerDaytona2008.jpg) Erin Crocker

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/8/80/LeilaniCloseUp.jpg/436px-LeilaniCloseUp.jpg (http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/80/LeilaniCloseUp.jpg)Leilani Munter


Elliot

Ooooh my, number 6 really got my attention, yesssirreee bob.

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 06:55 AM
Ooooh my, number 6 really got my attention, yesssirreee bob.

Hey I look like her
IF I dye my hair
Get a little plastic surgery
Nose
Lips
Cheeks
Put some make-up on
And shed about 20 years off my age


Darn I just dropped my eyeliner and
There is this crazy driver I just missed hitting!!

Have to log off QUICK... red lights flashing behind me...

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 08:11 AM
Hey I look like her
IF I dye my hair
get a little plastic surgery
nose
lips
cheeks
put some make-up on
and shed about 20 years off my age


Darn I just dropped my eyeliner and
there is this crazy driver I just missed hitting!!!

Have to log off QUICK......red lights flashing behind me..........

"MOVE AWAY from the CAR!" :D

And yeah... I knew that!

mudweiser
Aug 22, 2009, 08:19 AM
.. at least it wasn't mascara.

Ha


Sarah

shazamataz
Aug 22, 2009, 09:24 AM
Phone isn't ruined. Soak it in some dry rice to get the liquid out.....There one problem solved. LOL

Oh darn, why couldn't I have met you a year ago when I dropped my phone in the toilet... I just threw it out and bought a new one because I thought it was ruined :(

I think everyone, not just women need to take there car out on the race track... nothing like spinning out around a corner to make you more careful on the road :eek:

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 09:36 AM
The track?
Just go North 79 from Pittsburgh to Butler

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 09:37 AM
The track?
Just go North 79 from Pittsburgh to Butler

Been there... :)

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 09:39 AM
Been there.......:)

... and your top speed?

I miss 110 mph on the backstretch of the Island but Ohio Township cracked down on that :mad:

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 09:50 AM
...and your top speed?

I miss 110 mph on the backstretch of the Island but Ohio Township cracked down on that :mad:

Although we drag raced a lot near Greensburg /Jeannette I only went to watch them race.

On an old highway near Grrensburg we marked off the quarter mile by painting a line across the road. Every time we raced we had about 30 cars down there... local or state never bothered us there...

And I did all right... '68 Charger 440 Mag, R/T, 4 floor, raised *ss... Gas pedal 7 " off the floor.

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 09:57 AM
I think I heard about that back in the early 70's

I never got to go... as usual

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 09:59 AM
I think I heard about that back in the early 70's

I never got to go.....as usual

You knew about Rt 130?

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 10:05 AM
I don't know. I know when I was in my 20's friends would talk always talk about drag racing some stretch of road out that direction.

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 10:11 AM
I dunno. I know when I was in my 20's friends would talk always talk about drag racing some stretch of road out that direction.

Although this went on for years, never bothered by the cops.

Then one day I was with a friend who had a 'souped up' Dodge, actually street illegal. Well, we got pulled over by a state bear... problem was that my friend tried to out run him, bad decision.

He wrote him 15 tickets, no kidding. He was a young cop, he could have taken him in, after he gave all the tics to him he smiled and said "who's the champ down on 130 this week?" Seems that he draged there a few times when he was younger... go figure... :D

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 10:12 AM
Yeah it figures.

asking
Aug 22, 2009, 10:17 AM
I hit a 110 on my motorcycle once...
I wasn't using a cell phone at the time though.

Stringer
Aug 22, 2009, 10:21 AM
This past spring I hit 122 in my C-70 coming back from Pa..

N0help4u
Aug 22, 2009, 10:21 AM
3 times this summer I had motorcycles weaving at at least over 110.
Not so bad how fast they go but cut right between me and the car in front of me to go over to the shoulder UGH!

asking
Aug 22, 2009, 11:21 AM
Speaking from experience, motorcyclists I see on the road the last few years--splitting lanes and cutting in front of trucks and cars--are insane. I don't care if they kill themselves, but I hope they don't take me or anyone else with them.

The modern superbikes can get to 60 mph in a couple of seconds. They can just appear out of nowhere.

shazamataz
Aug 23, 2009, 12:57 AM
My partner got busted doing 180km/h (110mp/h)
The cops pulled him over and let him off with a warning because he was running late for work :D