Why do I stress out, serious anxiety stress, if someone is in my home without my advanced planning?

Do you mean that you need EVERYTHING in your life structured and you get stressed if something happens spontaneously?

I know people like that but I don't know what it is called.
I think it is sort of like an obsessive disorder in that you pre occupy your mind with what ifs and how you feel things have to be.

It is a control thing as well because everything has to run smoothy for you therefore others have to walk on eggshells to avoid upseting you.

You could have a mild form of autism too.

You need to go get an evaluation with a physcologist.

I hope that is what you meant by your ? I didn't exactly follow it

Do you mean that you need EVERYTHING in your life structured and you get stressed if something happens spontaneously?

I know people like that but I don't know what it is called.
I think it is sort of like an obsessive disorder in that you pre occupy your mind with what ifs and how you feel things have to be.

It is a control thing as well because everything has to run smoothy for you therefore others have to walk on eggshells to avoid upseting you.

You could have a mild form of autism too.

You need to go get an evaluation with a physcologist.

I hope that is what you meant by your ? I didn't exactly follow it


Sorry for being vague. I meant that I do not like it when people show up unannounced, it bothers me to the point that I get them out as fast as possible and it upsets me that they showed up without warning. However, if I know that guests are coming , I am fine.

OH okay. I wasn't sure who you were having what kind of problems with.

I am having the same problem and yes it can be very disruptive.
I wasted my whole summer because I can't deal with people knocking at my door.
Every time I finally get myself motivated to get up from the computer to go clean a room
Sure enough somebody is knocking at my door asking me to lend them something or run them to work or whatever.

If they are wanting to visit you, when they go to leave say something like well maybe we can get together again in... (a couple months) and do something. Call and let me know.
Some times that works with some people.

Th eproblem is that I can't even communicate effectively because I am so perturbed. I would normally hide from the doorbell, but my boyfriend has a key and when he entered using the key I was furious, although I was appreciative of his attempt to be helpful. I think I felt my personal space invaded so much that I couldn't even be cordial. If it were a knock, I'd hide. But I couldn't hide from this. And that made me anxious. I couldn't talk. I was nearly hyperventilating

If he has a key and he assumes that it is for him to use whenever you need to tell him that you really didn't intend for him to just walk in at anytime.
It does sound like you stress very easily to be hyperventilating over it.

I have a dead bolt on my door and don't give the key to any one so if I don't want my son or boyfriend just walking in I lock both locks.