View Full Version : Friends with benefits situation
qwerty108
Aug 18, 2009, 07:39 PM
Ok, lately I've been trying this online dating site, and I've chatted with a few cool people... but recently I started chatting with this girl. She told me that all she really wants is a friend with benefits, but would like to have a more meaningful relationship if that were the case. And now when she means "benefits", she means her just doing stuff to me... and no intercourse.
We're both 22 year old virgins, and she's recently discovered her love for this talent she has... she lives about an hour away, and she wants me to be her friend for the day, and maybe see if we can make it a regular thing. Now her reason behind all of this is because she is working on becoming in the business of porn, and she needs practice... she's had about 10 different guys, and it's been all her doing stuff to them.
Now most guys would be all over this... being a virgin, I think it'd be a crazy way to get things started... but then again, it could be good just to get some experience, and then I don't feel as shy around woman. I'm sure it'd be fun for both of us, but at the same time, I'm worried about the effects afterward... "how will i feel?" "guilty?" that sort of stuff.
She's a sweet girl, I wouldn't say I'm very attracted physically, but she brings a lot of spunk and excitement to our conversations.
Please give me some advice on what you guys or gals think... thanks in advanced!
handyamby
Aug 18, 2009, 07:48 PM
I'd say the fact that you are having doubts means you should not do it. Also what about STD's you could contract from her? If she is going around doing this with a bunch of guys, she could have herpes or anything really. Be careful.
Fr_Chuck
Aug 18, 2009, 07:53 PM
I agree is and when there is a doubt, don't.
And she is using wrong terms, benefits have normaly meant sex. Also she may have other issues doing it with so many.
qwerty108
Aug 18, 2009, 08:47 PM
No STDs... I've asked, but then again... "who knows"
I think there's doubt because I've never had this opportunity or offer before... I just picture this being somewhat fun and a good experience. Yet, I don't want to make a huge mistake in the process.
simoneaugie
Aug 18, 2009, 09:18 PM
Don't go there. I have zero issues with the sex part. But something about what you've described gives me a very bad feeling. If you become a non-virgin and several years have passed and she still wants to give it a try, fine.
Xemnas
Aug 18, 2009, 09:19 PM
Well it is your choice but she been with lots of other guys and you really think about it first.
handyamby
Aug 19, 2009, 10:01 AM
There are lots of other girls out there that are interested in friends with benefits sort of arrangements. It just seems like the whole practising for porn and being with a bunch of other guys is kind of strange and messed up. She seems very indescriminate about who she does what with. You seem like a nice person, she doesn't seem like the right kind of girl for you to get involved with. There are lots of other girls out there just looking for a good time who are not doing what she is doing. What if she ropes you in and you get her pregnant? Seems like she is just craving attention from men in general. I don't think there is anything wrong with casual sex with strangers, but she sounds strange.
talaniman
Aug 19, 2009, 10:20 AM
That would sound good for a single experienced guy, and maybe you would learn something, but being a virgin, I think you get to attached, and used, by a more experienced female, who doesn't have your best interests at heart.
She sounds more like a slut, or PRO, to me. Either way, don't get hooked on her, as she is just to willing, and if it sounds to good to be true, BEWARE!!
Take a pass on this one. Lots more safer options than this.
jmw0713
Aug 19, 2009, 11:09 AM
She sounds more like a slut, or PRO, to me. Either way, don't get hooked on her, as she is just to willing, and if it sounds to good to be true, BEWARE!!!
Take a pass on this one. Lots more safer options than this.
I was going to say the same thing. Something is not adding up here.
qwerty108
Aug 19, 2009, 04:26 PM
Yeah... she's not looking for sex, and she doesn't want sex. Just wants to give oral.
From our conversations, she seems normal. Her family life is normal, and she just has this really crazy side to her that nobody knows about. From listening to her tell her story, she seems fine.
Talaniman-you're prob right, and that's what I was worried about... "getting too attached". But since she lives a good hour away, I don't think I'd be as pron to just call her or need her. The guilt thing might be with me for a little bit, but just thought it'd be an easy way to have some fun, and a little experience without intercourse.
talaniman
Aug 19, 2009, 04:39 PM
I just say be cautious as even crazy people can be flakes, even though at first glance they act, talk, and appear normal. Even experienced guys get caught up sometimes.
Talaniman Rule - Date them all, fat, short, skinny, or tall, 18-80, blind cripple, or crazy.
The key is to know when to run for the hills, and disappear from there lives.