Well my boyfriend is in the army and he is deploy to iraq. Well we started dating in December when he come home from basic training. It was all good at that time. Then in feb. he wanted me and my kids move to Texas with him that's where he got station at. So me and my kids moved well I had to move back because of his soon to be wife. So I came back with no questions to him. Then one night I called him and he answered the phone. And I hard loud noise and I asked him what that was he told me he was in his car at the club a sleep. I was like come on now I don't believe that. Well he came home before he got deploy we went to the movies. After the movie we stop and got something to drink at sonic. He told me to get his wallet which I did and I found rubbers in there. I looked at him and got of the car and was walking home. He kept on saying "baby its not mine i promise." well I got back in the car. We went home. The next day his cell phone kept on going off so I got up to see who it was while a text message popped up and if you put the rubber and the text message together it seems like he was cheating. The day when he had to leave but to Texas we got in a agruement about the rubbers and the text messages. Once again he promise he was not cheating on me and I ask him if he ever thought about it he told me yes but he couldn't. Like in the beginning I said he was in iraq. At first we were talking every night for hours. Now its 10mins a day. There is women on his myspace account.. that I don't know. Well one of my friends he don't know made up account to see what he would say to her. Well he is talking about how he wants to break up with me and everything but when I talk to him on messenger its I love you baby. So my question is what should I do? Should stay with him or leave him? :confused:

You moved to Texas to be with him but then had to move back because of his soon to be wife? Did I read that wrong?

I had to read that three times myself just.

well my boyfriend is in the army and he is deploy to iraq. well we started dating in December when he come home from basic training. it was all good at that time. then in feb. he wanted me and my kids move to texas with him thats where he got station at. so me and my kids moved well i had to move back because of his soon to be wife. so i came back with no questions to him. then one night i called him and he answered the phone. and i hard loud noise and i asked him what that was he told me he was in his car at the club a sleep. i was like come on now i dont believe that. well he came home before he got deploy we went to the movies. after the movie we stop and got some thing to drink at sonic. he told me to get his wallet which i did and i found rubbers in there. i looked at him and got of the car and was walking home. he kept on saying "baby its not mine i promise." well i got back in the car. we went home. the next day his cell phone kept on going off so i got up to see who it was while a text message popped up and if you put the rubber and the text message together it seems like he was cheating. the day when he had to leave but to texas we got in a agruement about the rubbers and the text messages. once again he promise he was not cheating on me and i ask him if he ever thought about it he told me yes but he couldnt. like in the beginning i said he was in iraq. at first we was talking every night for hours. now its 10mins a day. there is women on his myspace account.. that i dont know. well one of my friends he dont know made up account to see what he would say to her. well he is talking about how he wants to break up with me and everything but when i talk to him on messanger its i love you baby. so my question is what should i do? should stay with him or leave him??:confused:

First off... the bold.

PLEASE don't tell me you're dating an engaged man.


Now, if you want to stay with him, then do. Since you didn't tell us what the text said, we can't give our opinion on that. But, maybe the condom was his. Maybe while he was in town, he wanted to have sex with you, but you saw it and overreacted and tried to cover it all up.

As for the friend making a fake account, never a good idea. It's the internet, everyone lies. If any of this really happened, confront him about. Make him talk. He's in the army, not the Marines, so he wasn't trained to retain his knowledge. (sorry, a little propaganda there) He'll spill, you just have to push harder.

However, with the information you've provided, except that first part (:eek:) it sounds like you're overreacting.

omg. I missed the part about your friend making the fake account. I don't know how I missed that...
no trust = no relationship.

Good gosh, go home, and leave this lying cheater/player alone.

Well my boyfriend is in the army and he is deploy to iraq. Well we started dating in December when he come home from basic training. It was all good at that time. Then in feb. he wanted me and my kids move to Texas with him that's where he got station at. So me and my kids moved well I had to move back because of his soon to be ex wife. So I came back with no questions to him. Then one night I called him and he answered the phone. And I hard loud noise and I asked him what that was he told me he was in his car at the club a sleep. I was like come on now I don't believe that. Well he came home before he got deploy we went to the movies. After the movie we stop and got something to drink at sonic. He told me to get his wallet which I did and I found rubbers in there. I looked at him and got of the car and was walking home. He kept on saying "baby its not mine i promise." well I got back in the car. We went home. The next day his cell phone kept on going off so I got up to see who it was while a text message popped up and if you put the rubber and the text message together it seems like he was cheating. The day when he had to leave but to Texas we got in a agruement about the rubbers and the text messages. Once again he promise he was not cheating on me and I ask him if he ever thought about it he told me yes but he couldn't. Like in the beginning I said he was in iraq. At first we were talking every night for hours. Now its 10mins a day. There is women on his myspace account.. that I don't know. Well one of my friends he don't know made up account to see what he would say to her. Well he is talking about how he wants to break up with me and everything but when I talk to him on messenger its I love you baby. So my question is what should I do? Should stay with him or leave him?

The text said from the girl: where you at? Him: Tennessee, the girl: u suck how can I have sex with my sexy man now? Him: u can when I get back, the girl: that's if you don't get enough from your girlfriend. And that was the end

you moved to texas to be with him but then had to move back because of his soon to be wife? did i read that wrong?

sorry I forgot to put in the soon to be x wife.

First off... the bold.

PLEASE don't tell me you're dating an engaged man.


Now, if you want to stay with him, then do. Since you didn't tell us what the text said, we can't give our opinion on that. But, maybe the condom was his. Maybe while he was in town, he wanted to have sex with you, but you saw it and overreacted and tried to cover it all up.

As for the friend making a fake account, never a good idea. It's the internet, everyone lies. If any of this really happened, confront him about. Make him talk. He's in the army, not the Marines, so he wasn't trained to retain his knowledge. (sorry, a little propaganda there) He'll spill, you just have to push harder.

However, with the information you've provided, except that first part (:eek:) it sounds like you're overreacting.

No I am not dating a engaged man is getting a divorce sorry I forgot to put the ex part in there but the text said the text said from the girl: where you at? Him: Tennessee, the girl: u suck how can I have sex with my sexy man now? Him: u can when I get back, the girl: that's if you don't get enough from your girlfriend. And that was the end. And I have tried to get him to open up but he just won't he always tells me has to go to bed when I get on that subject

omg. i missed the part about your friend making the fake account. idk how i missed that...
no trust = no relationship.

That wasn't my idea it was hers

Well, maybe he is cheating.

Confront him about it. Make him talk. He can't just say "I'm not cheating" he has to explain. If he can't come up a good reason, continues to lie, then it's time to leave him.

PS: It's never a good idea to see a married man, even one who is only technically married. It's a whole lot of legal issues.

Good gosh, go home, and leave this lying cheater/player alone.

I thought about that. But ever time I say something about breaking up he starts all this I love you and I won't hurt you stuff

Well, maybe he is cheating.

Confront him about it. Make him talk. He can't just say "I'm not cheating" he has to explain. If he can't come up a good reason, continues to lie, then it's time to leave him.

PS: It's never a good idea to see a married man, even one who is only technically married. It's a whole lot of legal issues.

Yea I know but his divorce is process it just takes time.. and everything I get on that subject he tells me he has to go to bed

When guys say they fell asleep in the car they are saying that to cover up 'unexplanable time' due to the fact they won't confess where they really were.

I think guys do like carrying rubbers in their wallet but when they say "baby its not mine i promise." It's a flat out lie and trying to cover the lie with that statement. Okay its not yours... the girl you are cheating with just happened to ask you to hold them for her

He told me ''yes but he couldnt'' another tactic
Is admitting to a little I ONLY... to make it look like he is being honest

One of my friends he don't know made up account to see what he would say to her. Well he is talking about how he wants to break up with me and everything
He is a player and is keeping you on the sidelines until he finds better.

So you are saying it only takes three little words to make you stay?

He comes home drunk. "I love you"
He's cheating on you. "I love you"
He kills someone. "I love you"

Guess what. They are just EMPTY WORDS! Yes, they do mean something, but not when they are coming out of his mouth.
If he can just make you change your mind like that, imagine how he could manipulate you. You have to put your foot down. Get rid of him, and take control over yourself. How do you expect to find a decent man if you are with any who say "I love you"?

OK I took you opinion about pushing him on tell him. Which didn't work. He turn all on me like I am the one that is cheating. I have never cheated on him, and don't plan on it. But I did ask him if he still want to be together. Because one of his close friends told me that he was going break up with me when he got home in October. His answer to that was "you dont want me to answer that when i am mad because its not what you want to hear." :confused:

Why are you wasting your time with this guy? It's time to move on.

Regarding your last post,which one has to read to make sense of this post.
I have never known of a man to carry condoms for a friend.That is the lamest excuse I have heard in a long time.

You have children and you are uprooting them to chase after this lying man who is just stringing you along for some reason.

He is NOT trustworthy and you need to let it go and concentrate on your children.

I know being a single mother is difficult and perhaps you are looking for a man to make your life easier but HE is not the answer,He is complicating your life and lying to you.

I don't know how much more evidence you need to convince you that you are being played.

Lose this guy,he has shown you his true colors and unless you want more of the same game playing and lies,you need to end it now.

OK I told to my boyfriend this morning and he acts like nothing has happen. But I have posted what's been going on but my question is should I break up with online or wait till he gets home? I just don't want him do anything stupid because he has threaten me if I broke up with he would do something stupid. But I know its time to end this relationship:confused::confused:

Break up with him face to face. Do it in a public place if you feel uncomfortable. At least have the heart to do it in person and not through text or online... that is childish.

I am curious as to what he means by "stupid"? Do you think he meant physically harm you or harm himself?

Break up with him face to face. Do it in a public place if you feel uncomfortable. At least have the heart to do it in person and not through text or online...that is childish.

I am curious as to what he means by "stupid"? Do you think he meant physically harm you or harm himself?

I really don't know. That's what got me confused.. but I have 3 children and he has 2 children also. That's y I really don't know what to do.. but I do want to break up with him because I know that he is cheating on me..

Is telling him in person an option right now? Or is he still in a different state or country? If you can't do it in person, I'd do it over the phone. And if you're worried about him hurting himself, is there someone close to him that you can call to keep an eye on him?

>Threads Merged<

Thanks Ben.

Normally I would agree kc.
However, this relationship is emotionally hurting the OP, and she cannot afford to wait until October to see him and break up in person.

I say, just send him a message. Tell him that you're leaving him. You can then either say "Don't even try to contact me again until you stop being a jerk and can be a mature friend." (I recommend this, as there may be a reason to contact him) or "When you get out of active duty, and get yourself straightened out, then we'll talk." (Don't recommend, but it's another possibility)

Or something of the sort. However, others may have other suggestions.

ok i told to my boyfriend this morning and he acts like nothing has happen. but i have posted whats been going on but my question is should i break up with online or wait till he gets home?? i just dont want him do anything stupid bc he has threaten me if i broke up with he would do something stupid. but i know its time to end this relationship:confused::confused:

Threatening to do something stupid is emotional blackmail.Don't fall for it and don't allow it to sway your decision.
Do what you need to do for you and your children and don't look back.
Move forward!

is telling him in person an option right now? or is he still in a different state or country? if you can't do it in person, i'd do it over the phone. and if you're worried about him hurting himself, is there someone close to him that you can call to keep an eye on him?

He is deployed right now he is iraq..

Well that seems to kill telling him in person. No sense in dragging the relationship on. If you can, I'd call him. Otherwise send him an email or even a handwritten letter telling him its over. You can say something about you hoping he doesn't follow through with his threat to do something stupid. But like artlady said, his threat is emotional blackmail and should not be allowed to sway your decision.

I agree that ideally, if you could tell him in person, that would be the way to go.

But, seeing that he is in Iraq, send him a letter, or an email. I don't see where you owe him anything more than that. He is still married, after all.

With five children between the two of you in the mix, somebody has to take control here and end this relationship that isn't going anywhere.

You can do much better than a married man with two children, who lies and cheats.