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View Full Version : I really love her, but don't know what to do


mp_019
Aug 6, 2009, 06:25 PM
Okay well its been since October that I've known her , but since June that she has actually took an interest in me! She broke up with her ex boyfriend a year ago and he went and got a girl pregnant and got married! She still loved him, but now little by little that feeling is disapeearing! She has different moods, one day she talks about a positive US, but other days she says all she can commit to is a relationship! She tells her best friend everything and I got a chance to meet her! When I told her long time ago what would she do I if I kissed her she was like never talk to me again because we are just friends.. and her friend asked her she told her that she would not know what she would do, and also she told her friend why haven't I made a move! I'm a guy that would rather kiss when we are bf/gf! But I don't know what to do at this time, we call each other fiancée, but she recently wants to talk to her ex to end it all for good, but I don't know I want to take her out and just make a move and kiss her and it will go against my respecting her as a friend! But I don't know what to do I really need help!!

I wish
Aug 6, 2009, 06:29 PM
Until she recovers from her breakup, you should keep your distance from her.

Sounds like she has an interest in you, but make sure she's over her ex boyfriend before you commit to her. You don't want to be her rebound.

Jake2008
Aug 6, 2009, 07:18 PM
She is still not over her ex. As you said, she wants to contact him and end it for good.

Be careful not to be the rebound guy, which so often happens when a person needs comfort after a breakup, and the one giving turns it into romance.

It is also not a good idea to pressure her via the mutual friend. If anything should happen between the two of you, it will without the 'what if's'.

Keep your distance. For now at least, she is not available as she has said, to commit to a relationship.

Don't read more into this than what is there. In the future, who knows, but for now, she needs to deal with her boyfriend, the break up and time to recover from it.

Torrid13
Aug 6, 2009, 07:23 PM
Like the other said, give her time to recover.

If you push the issue, she might come to resent you for trying to prey on her feelings, even if that wasn't your intention at all.

Jake2008
Aug 6, 2009, 08:00 PM
Had to spread the rep I Wish, but remember the song by Dianna Ross?

I need love love to ease my mind
I need to find find someone to call mine
But Momma said
Can't hurry love
You'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
I can't hurry love
No you'll just have to wait
You got to just give it time
No matter how long it takes
But how many heartaches must I stand
Before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength
Yeah it's almost gone
I remember Momma said
Don't hurry love
You'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart to break
Now I can't bear
To live my life alone
I know it fishing for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I
I can't go on
These precious words keep me hanging on
I remember Momma said
Don't hurry love
You'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take
I can't hurry love
No it'll just have to wait
She said just give it time
No matter how long it takes
Got to Wait... No love love don't come easy, but I keep on waiting
Anticipating
For that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight
I'll keep waiting
Keep on waiting
But it isn't easy
It isn't easy
When Momma said
Can't hurry love
You'll just have to wait
She said just give it time
No matter how long it takes
Can't hurry love
No you'll just have to wait
She said love don't come easy...


I think every kid from age 12 and up should learn this song!

mp_019
Aug 6, 2009, 10:47 PM
Until she recovers from her breakup, you should keep your distance from her.

Sounds like she has an interest in you, but make sure she's over her ex bf before you commit to her. You don't want to be her rebound.


Thank you, it's just I feel a little bad because! She keeps me out her mind, but I understand, and I am just going to wait for her to recover, but how much distance? Should I still tell her how beautiful she is everyday?

I wish
Aug 7, 2009, 05:29 AM
Distance means avoid unnecessary contact. So leave her alone and go about your business.

If and when she contacts you, then be there for her.

mp_019
Aug 8, 2009, 12:12 PM
Okay I wanted to say thank you to all of you! Its helping just within a couple days..! Well if I don't text her at all she's always going to text me because we got a little used to it. And well what should I wait for now? When I reply I try not to sound too like desperate in a way. But I want to be there for her so she can know that I really care about her a lot.

Jake2008
Aug 8, 2009, 12:20 PM
I think it is safe to assume that she knows you care about her.

The point is, not getting involved with her, because she is not over her boyfriend. So, texting should be out of the picture for you, because you still feel very attached to her.

If she texts you, which sounds like she will, and it is only to lean on you, or help her solve her problems, try thinking of telling her that there isn't much more you can do for her other than the support you've given.

Don't get sucked into being the fall back guy as we've all indicated already. If you are that soft shoulder she needs to cry on, let her find another soft shoulder, and leave yours alone.

Keep conversations to a minimum, don't get into anything with her, and don't text her. She will eventually get the message.

If she doesn't, write her a polite email saying the same thing. You've done all you can, she has to be a big girl and make her own decisions, and you no longer want to be involved with her, while she's involved with her boyfriend.

When she's free, you are available, but when she needs you to work out her problems, you aren't.

You risk always being the friend, and never the boyfriend if you don't show her you are independent and strong on your own, without her boyfriend problems, and without her.

She's going to make up her own mind one of these days. Space right now is your best friend.