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moonnthestars
Aug 6, 2009, 12:33 AM
Hi,

I'm 27 & my husband is 31, we got married 4months back but my husband do not get pleasure during sex, though he enjoys foreplay. We have tried all the postures but he can not get the pleasure. Im afraid he might loose his interest in me in latter life. . Advise

artlady
Aug 6, 2009, 02:13 AM
Do you mean he cannot have an orgasm?
Is he having erection difficulty?
Was he is a virgin when you married? Is this a new problem for him?
Is he on any medications?
Does he have any medical problems?
Can he achieve orgasm through masturbation?
Some further information would be helpful to give an adequate answer.

kp2171
Aug 6, 2009, 11:35 AM
First, can you get to orgasm during sex? Can he pleasure you?

Does he "hold back" for you first?

More info needed.

moonnthestars
Aug 7, 2009, 05:51 AM
Do you mean he cannot have an orgasm?
Is he having erection difficulty?
Was he is a virgin when you married? Is this a new problem for him?
Is he on any medications?
Does he have any medical problems?
Can he achieve orgasm through masturbation?
Some further information would be helpful to give an adequate answer.

Thanks for the reply... here is the info required:

He do not have erection difficulty
Yes he was a virgin
No he doesn't have any medical problem
He achieves orgasm both through sex & masturbation, but does not enjoys it during sex

moonnthestars
Aug 7, 2009, 05:52 AM
first, can you get to orgasm during sex? can he pleasure you?

does he "hold back" for you first?

more info needed.

Yes, I get the orgasm & he can very well pleasure me & yes, he holds back for me few times.

Trustworthee
Aug 7, 2009, 10:17 PM
thanks for the reply...here is the info required:

he do not have erection difficulty
yes he was a virgin
no he doesnt have any medical problem
he achieves orgasm both through sex & masturbation, but does not enjoys it during sex

Sad to say, I'm in a similar situation. Is he religious? Maybe there's some underlying sexual issues with his past.

These are some of the questions asked when my boyfriend and I have tried to come to a solution. None of the above that I mentioned to you relates to him. But, even so, it falls under some sort of erectile dysfunction. When a man can ejaculate through masturbation or oral sex but not through vaginal penetration or it's hard to ejaculate at all.

Ejaculatory Incompetence: Inability to ejaculate even when they are aroused and erect.
Primary Ejaculatory Incompetence: Never being able to ejaculate.
Secondary Ejaculatory Incompetence: Formerly able to ejaculate but cannot now.
Retarded Ejaculation: Ejaculation occurs but takes a long period.

Which of the categories does he fall under?

artlady
Aug 7, 2009, 11:00 PM
thanks for the reply...here is the info required:

he do not have erection difficulty
yes he was a virgin
no he doesnt have any medical problem
he achieves orgasm both through sex & masturbation, but does not enjoys it during sex

Sometimes when men are used to having orgasms by masturbation only they have difficulty either having an orgasm during sex or do not find it as intense as an orgasm by masturbation.
With masturbation he is in control and can dictate the amount of pressure,the speed and he knows exactly where his most sensitive feelings are.He has perfected his orgasm by being the one who controls it.
With a partner that is not possible.
He needs to stop masturbating and retrain his body to enjoy the release with a partner.
I think if he gives up masturbating,in time he will come to enjoy the orgasm he has with sex.
If this is not effective within a few months time,I think perhaps a trained sexual therapist would be the next step to take.