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confusedgirl11
Aug 2, 2009, 04:17 PM
Hiya I'm 22 I'm married to a lovely man, but for the last year or so I've been sexually aroused by other females. I masturbate over naked women. I still fancy men. And love my husband to bits. Is it just a fantasy for me to be with a woman, or am I bisexual?

Catsmine
Aug 2, 2009, 04:34 PM
Until you do something more than masturbate, it's fantasy and no big deal. Whatever develops from this idea you have, include your husband. Odds are he'll be fascinated with the fantasy, but tread this border cautiously. It could get really ugly really quickly.

Fr_Chuck
Aug 2, 2009, 04:36 PM
Well unless your husband does not mind you having an affair I guess it does not really matter.

A married person does not have sex with others, of either sex

zippit
Aug 2, 2009, 04:42 PM
Have you talked to him about it?
There's things he can do for you that would be intimate and feminine.

N0help4u
Aug 2, 2009, 04:43 PM
Do you think you would really go through with sexual things if you were with another woman?

It may just be you are relating to them (as in wishing you were *in their shoes* so to speak)

Ash123
Aug 3, 2009, 12:37 PM
Did you have these feelings in elementary school and middle school and high school?

HelpinHere
Aug 3, 2009, 03:46 PM
Sounds to me like you aren't being satisfied, and are turning to alternative methods.

Try spicing up your love life as it is.

Although, all other possibilities provided could be too. We need more information.

klynntuck
Aug 4, 2009, 11:39 AM
It sounds like a fantasy to me. You may like the idea of it, but if you tried it, you may not even like it. But I would suggest talking to your husband about it. Open communication will help you through this.

hheath541
Aug 4, 2009, 12:09 PM
Is it really that important to put a label on it? Female sexuality is fluid and can change drastically throughout her lifetime. It may be that you are bisexual, now. It may also be that you have discovered a new fantasy that could never move beyond that point even if given every opportunity in the world. The only important thing is how you feel about it.

Do you wish to see the fantasy come to life? Do you feel like it's something you have to explore in order to be true to yourself? Is it merely a tool you use when masturbating or do you find yourself needing to think of women during sex?

Sexuality is too personal for anyone to tell you what label you should place on yourself. It's something you'll need to figure out and decide for yourself. In the end you may decide that you don't need or want any label at all. Don't be too quick to place yourself in a pigeon hole by labeling yourself.

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 04:38 PM
Sounds to me like you aren't being satisfied, and are turning to alternative methods.

Try spicing up your love life as it is.

Although, all other possibilities provided could be too. We need more information.

Yeah it could be that I'm not being satisfied, its been a rocky year for us I never feel loved by him and he never wants sex and want it all the time . Do you do thinks that relationship is over rather than me being bisexual. We got together really young got married. I don't think I'm happy no more. But I love him but I don't know if I'm IN LOVE with him.

N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 04:41 PM
Only you know if you and he can work on saving your relationship.
You have to ask yourself
What can you do to bring the spark back?
Is he going to be cooperative in making it work?
Would counselling help?
Do you think there is no saving it?

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 04:42 PM
Did you have these feelings in elementary school and middle school and high school?

No not really . Just last year and half, perhaps it's that he don't want sex much and I do I love itimacy but he avoids it xx where not getting on well, and I don't even know if I'm IN LOVE with him anymore please help??

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 04:45 PM
only you know if you and he can work on saving your relationship.
You have to ask yourself
what can you do to bring the spark back?
Is he going to be cooperative in making it work?
Would counselling help?
Do you think there is no saving it?

I'm not sure , I really wish that spark would come back but its gone for a while now .

N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 04:46 PM
I think you are just self projecting like fantasizing that you wish you were those girls rather than 'wanting' those girls because of the fact that you aren't content and aren't IN LOVE

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 04:48 PM
Did you have these feelings in elementary school and middle school and high school?

Please help me someone??

N0help4u
Aug 4, 2009, 04:52 PM
You aren't happy with him, you aren't sure what you want so

Maybe you need to break up with him and take time for yourself to clear your thoughts and emotions and find direction on what's best for you right now.

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 04:57 PM
You aren't happy with him, you aren't sure what you want so

Maybe you need to break up with him and take time for yourself to clear your thoughts and emotions and find direction on whats best for you right now.

Yeah I know but its so hard we been together for 7 years .

Alty
Aug 4, 2009, 04:57 PM
please help me someone ????

What do you want us to do?

We can't tell you if you're bi, only you can know that.

We can't tell you if your marriage is over, that's up to you to decide.

The honeymoon phase is over, it takes work to make a marriage last, it's not easy.

Have you tried talking to him about any of this? He's the one that can help, no us.

confusedgirl11
Aug 4, 2009, 05:09 PM
Hiya, I'm 22 married. I've been with my hubby since I was 15. We got married last year. I was happy athe time but now I think we rushd into to quick. There's no chemistry between us at all anyone, we just sit and watch telly all night, and he very rare wants sex, and love intimacy, I'm so unhappy at the moment. I don't think he really know s how un happy I am. I want to do course of sumkind to help me further myself , maybe id be a bit happier then. I don't feel like I'm fullfiling my role as a woman to him to keep him satisfied. I want him to want me. Think he has a low sex drive. But mines rather high. The spark has totally gone. What should I do? Its hard to break up with some u've been with since all I ever knew, frm 15 years old I'm scared what life will bring scard of being on my own please help someone??

Torrid13
Aug 4, 2009, 05:13 PM
Talk to him about it!

He can't try to fix something that he doesn't know makes you unhappy!

BlackVY
Aug 4, 2009, 05:32 PM
Also read your other thread asking if you were Bi-sexual.

I think your question in your other thread can be answered here. You seem lost and unsure of what is going on. You don't know who you are, and are therefore questioning things.

Like Torrid said, the best thing to do is talk to your man, connect with him. Try to get back what you once had with him, as feelings don't just disappear all of a sudden.

Try to do things to get the spark back, go out on dates with him, surprise him from time to time. Marriage is not easy and it isn't always smooth. It takes work, a lot of work.

First of all, you need to find yourself and decide who you are. If you are wondering if you are bi-sexual, then how can you also spend time thinking about your husband and your relationship?

Take it slow, think and talk with your partner, but don't jump into conclusions and make hasty decisions.

Good luck

mudweiser
Aug 4, 2009, 05:43 PM
I'm just going to say it....

I think that he's at that "wake up point". He's been with you for so long, and at a young and tender age, where he should have been free, and experience things-- and so should have you.

I believe, truly, that not having those experiences, and not having that time to grow by yourself, learn to be yourself, and discover who you are, is going to eventually terminate this relationship.

Your just as confused as he is.

Whether you want to start couple's counseling, and "work thought it", or separate amicably is up to you.

In my mind, call me cynical, I believe eventually you'll split up-- you don't have to hate each other, but you both do have a lot to learn about yourselves and about life.. separately.

Just my opinion...

Sarah

Fr_Chuck
Aug 4, 2009, 07:41 PM
Please only start one thread about similar subjects

Ash123
Aug 4, 2009, 07:45 PM
1. Easy on the chat-speak
2. If the feelings did not exist until now I don't think you are gay
3. Bisexual? That is not likely
4. Curious? Yep. Willing to try for fun? Yep.
5. Worth doing? No.
6. TIME TO TALK
7. Time to see a counselor.
8. If nothing gets better after a year make a decision
9. No reason to wait.
10. Any more questions? :-)

Hang in there!

A

k1kxo19
Aug 7, 2009, 12:05 AM
Well your at the age where your hormones are a little more balanced so I'm guessing you ARE bisexual. Now its up to you if you want to tell your man. Maybe he will be... interesed... if you know what I mean. But also be prepared for him to freak out.